what should you do if your partner is an alcoholic? Is it wrong to leave?

Answer 1

Get out! If they get help it will be on their own. There's no way you can help them. They have to do it for themselves. If you still love the person, let them know that if they get help you will think about trying again but only after an inhouse rehab program and a year of clean and sober living. Then see if you still like the person they are afterwards. I lived with a drunk for 7 years. It took him 20 years after I left to go get help. So if you don't leave you could be in for years of heartache and God only knows how many DUI's etc. Believe in YOURSELF!

Answer 2

First off have you helped him? I assume you have exhausted all reasonable options before considering leaving him. In a recent conversation with a friend (we were both sober) A new point of view on unconditional love was presented to me. It is food for thought at the very least. You fall in love with a person and would do anything for that person. But what about the changes that come about as result of them allowing something to control them. They are not the person you have married instead the are a person that chooses not put you in the place that you deserve to be in.

For instance I have a Jeep obsession. Not an addiction. The difference is an obsession doesn't take away from your partner or change you. An addiction is when you allow something to control you. When you decide that your going to drink or do something before pay the bills or spend time with the family the person with the addiction is wrong not you. If he was sober when you met and got married he is NOT the same man you married. If you have exhausted all the options of help you can provide then you don't have to feel guilty about leaving. When he decides that you are more important than a drink then he will become the same basic person you married. Good luck and it's just my opinion. I hope it works out the best for you.

Answer 3

It all depends on how you see it. If you say you love him/her, love is unconditional. It would be wrong to leave. The best thing to do is help them out of their problem. If you cant do it alone, dont be afraid to contact profesional help. But if he/she is abusive in any way and you feel your relationship has reached a dead end, there's no way out, then saying goodbye isn't such a bad idea. The choice is yours. This is a time to consider your values and morals and ask yourself, "Is our love stronger than a few drinks?"

Answer 4

If you still care about him/her get help AA or some other type of program if the drinking is a deal breaker, leave and find someone that can leave a bottle alone. Good Luck

Answer 5

*Hey now...I like to drink lots too...so be nice to us drunkies....lol....*

~Well I think if it's really affecting your relationship in more ways than just one and you truly do not feel comfortable anymore, and it bothers you that much...then you need to get out of it.

.You are not wrong to leave. However before you do, suggest AA to this person, and if they decline and choose the alcohol over you...then you know it's high time to pack up and leave. Because your relationship will go nowhere.

Answer 6

No, it isn't wrong to leave. Most states will grant you a divorce on the grounds of uncontrolled alcoholism. There are plenty of resources out there to help, including AA. If he can't take care of himself/herself, then he can't take care of you.

Answer 7

its not wrong to leave if he/she is abusive . a true partner will try to sit down and work with them and try to help that person out

Answer 8

i was in a relationship with an alcoholic who didnt want to change. you cant do anything to help him. he has to want to change himself .. until then...he is who he is.

as for leaving ... if it is truely changing his behavior .. and he spends lots of money on...or is drunk daily...i would recommend you leaving. thsi wouldnt make for a happy relationship.

i did leave my guy of 3 years .. and to this day he still drinks...he has since lost his apartment and job he had for 16 years.. he progressed from drinking to drugs and lost everything. thankfully he is now trying to stay clean . (drugs anyway) still drinks and lives with his parents now.

Answer 9

No it is not wrong to do what you have to do to survive your own pain. Drinking is a choice when there is help for it. They really have to want to quit in their heart and in their spirit for it to work. The old saying is " you can take the horse to the water, but you can't make him drink" Because if he doesn't truely want it for himself and stick to the program .....he can stop for awhile and still be a Dry Drunk......meaning he will always be mean and hatefull with everybody and himself.........because he still wants his fix! He has to dedicate his entire life to remain straight and sober! He has used this as a crutch to not deal and to deal with all life's problems. He has to find new ways and methods in all life stresses. Sometimes the alcoholic can sometimes he won't. Living with this type of personality is the most intense emotional roller coaster of your life. Just remember it can be controlled it's not like some incurable disease that can't be. When in a relationship with one you never know what you can or cannot count on with them. They are never in the real state of mind to even know what it is that they really want. They play on our sympathy and we react to them instead of taking actions for ourselves to change our own lives.Alanon teaches us how to learn to live with the problems.......and how to make choices for ourself for the better if we choose to leave them. Either way we need to look inside of ourselves to be aware and make better choices for our lives in future relationships.Whatever you choose to do will not be easy, but there is a better world out there.........I was married for 25yr's to an alcholic and I did Leave. I went to school, worked on a stress unit, and got out. I am remarried and I am better for it. Only you know what you need to do and i recommend getting help for yourself in making the right decision so that you are comfortable with your choice. Work on yourself and everything else will follow for the good in your life. I wish you care and guidance on your decision.

Answer 10

First, you must be kind to yourself. Find an Alanon meeting (that's for people who are involved with alcoholics). You'll meet people who understand your pain and who can support you while you make decisions.

Good luck.