A friend of mine doesn't have alot of friends. Beside his family I'm the only person he talks to. We use to work together and now I've found another job and we talk alot less. I'm currently buying a house, getting ready to get married, had major job changes and my life has been chaotic. I've told him that I've had alot going on and sorry I havent responded to him quite as much. He texts me at work and I'm busy I cant respond..i tell him sorry. I don't invite him to hang out if I do something. He lives hours away and doesnt like hanging out with people he dont know so I don't invite him. I invited to hang out once and he accused my friends of ignoring him. He calls and I cant talk because I work two jobs and i'm busy. I call him and catch up with him when I can but its never good enough. I get an email from him the other day saying how I ignore him and so does his family and coworkers. And he makes me feel like ****. What should I do?
2007-04-23 09:39:07 · 7 answers · asked by coolchic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It sounds to me that you are doing the best you can. He is the one with problem. He has to realize that you can't talk or be with him 24/7. He seems to be self-absorbed and will latch on to anyone that will pay any attention to him. The bottomline is that you have to concentrate on your own life first. If he can't accept the fact that you can't always be there when he needs attention, then perhaps it is better just to ignore him.
2007-04-26 10:15:12 · answer #1 · answered by CBB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can talk to him face-to-face, you could settle this once and for all. If you know you're the only person he can really talk to, then you must realize that is a special person to be to someone.
Yes, you've got a lot going on. If you could meet him for drinks or coffee once every few weeks, you could let him know how busy you really have been without making him feel like you're pushing him away. It's a matter of priorities: are you used to making friendship a priority?
He might end up moving closer to you or you might end up working together again someday (not unusual for that to happen...) I think he's worth keeping in touch with.
2007-04-30 17:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK Ive had this problem before its hard to deal with, next time you contact him let him know that you greatly appreciate his friendship, tell him that you still are Friends, but he needs to understand that you are very busy, and he should respect that. if he just uses that against you to make u feel bad, and keeps saying u r ignoring him then he either is not all that good of a Friend 4 not understanding or he could have a crush on u! u need to discuss this with him ...good luck!!!
2007-05-01 13:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by tinydancer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to get his own life....not depend on yours.
It is a good idea to keep this friendship at a distance because it is not helping your friend...he wants to be dependent on you....and no one can run their life that way.
Also...you have a healthy life....moving on...your friend is not.
Be careful of letting this person invade too much of your life because he could also cause you problems with your other friends, your fiance', etc.
I think you are better off cooling this friendship....you can be nice, but your time belongs to your future relationship in your marriage....your life is changing...so it is a good time to just let him know he needs to get some other single friends to spend time with. May sound "hard", but it is true and best for you. This "guilt trip" is just another way to try to manipulate you....not a good sign. He is trying to control you...and it could get worse. He needs to "get a life"!
2007-05-01 01:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if he has a crush on u.He sees that u now have someone and its 2 late 4 him 2 act on his crush.Or maybe u wre the only person who understood him and now ur leavin.Find a friend of urs or someone u know who reminds u of u and then introduce them by either havin a get 2gether or u him and ur fiance and the other person go 2 dinner,like a secret blind date.
2007-04-30 16:21:21 · answer #5 · answered by Goodwin T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get a life tell him instead of accusing everyone,try joining in every so often
2007-05-01 08:18:49 · answer #6 · answered by CARL P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE DON'T LET HIM USE YOU .
2007-05-01 02:44:57 · answer #7 · answered by 10-T3 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋