My uncle was killed in November and still?

Question

I'm deeply depressed about it, like everything reminds me of him and then when I have these reminders I cry.
is it normal for all this depression and grief to have lasted this long

Answer 1

Yes, it is. It takes longer for some. I took a death & dying class and my professor said that somewhere around 6 mo to a year things start to get back to some normalcy. It's going to be rough, but with time, you will be able to get back to your old way of life. It is normal. Sorry for loss.

Answer 2

Hi -
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what it's like.

Yes, what you are going through is very hard, but it is normal. Mourning for a loved one is necessary to move on. You don't get through the process right away and there's no real way to skip it or speed it up. When my grandmother and my uncle died I mourned them each deeply for about a year - it got less and less intense with time, but that is what it takes -- time. Sometimes it manifests as crying but it can be other things - loss of interest in activities you enjoy, loss of interest in socializing and a short fuse in terms of irritability.

Your uncle passed away suddenly six months ago, and depending on what the situation was, it may just take some time to process the reality and let this heal. I can promise you that your pain will lessen and your warm memories of him will glow more brightly so that after a while it won't hurt as much to remember him - you will always miss him, of course, but you will learn to live with it, as we all must do when we lose someone dear.

Be gentle with yourself and don't make any big decisions for a while. If you need time alone, take time alone. Perhaps reminiscing with someone else who knew him and can talk about him calmly with you would help. Sometimes what we fear is that the person will be forgotten, and this can help you realize that he has not been forgotten at all.

There are grief counselors and grief counseling groups all around. Check with your local hospital, church/synagogue or hospice care and they can put you in touch. This may help -- but do what feels right and take it easy on yourself.

((((((((((big hug)))))))))))

Answer 3

My brother was killed a year ago on April 19th so I can feel your pain. It took me a good six-eight months to not cry everyday and at everything, which was odd for me because I have dealt with A LOT of death in my life of very close relatives or friends. Usually, I am okay after a month or two, but with my brother it was easily six months and I still have a hard time when I hear certain songs or on the 19th of every month. Eventually, you will remember that you will see them again one day, and when you do, You want to be able to tell them of this wonderful life you lived and not this life that you spent mourning them. Your uncle is always going to be in your heart and as long as he is there, then he is always with you. Your memories of him keep him alive.

Answer 4

My great Aunt and Uncle were killed September 12th, 2001 (a day after September 11th) in a plane crash in Mexico while they were on a cruise for the University of Washington and Miami Hurricanes football game. TO THIS DAY, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about them and miss them. I still have days where I tear up thinking about them. The other night my family and I were watching the video of my wedding and my uncle walked through the dance floor in a shot of the video and I started bawling. Also, just a month after they died, my uncle (dad's brother) died of a massive heart attack. I see things, hear things that remind me of him daily as well. I am heartbroken to lose people that I cared so much about. I spent a lot of time with all 3 of them. They were pillars in our family. To lose them like that, I don't think I'll ever get over that. EVER. I can sympathize with you.

I have good days and I have bad days. On the days I miss them a lot I try to surround myself with things that make me happy. I like to think about the time that I did get to spend with them and how it made me feel. And I hold out hope that there is a heaven and that I will one day see them there.

Answer 5

yes, especially when you are very close to him. When my dad died, I grieved for a long time. What got through those tough times was a diary I started and I wrote to him as if he could read it. It helped a lot. Maybe you should try it. Get all your thoughts down on paper as if you are writing to him

Answer 6

It sounds like you were very close, and I am sorry for your loss. I do not think it is too long to mourn, but it is long if it is debilitating. I would suggest seeing a therapist. They may be able to help you navigate this tough time.

Answer 7

I takes time to see everything clear. Are you in any kind of medical therapy? Reach out and do different things. Going out on walks is a good way to get your good endorphins (feel good chemical) on your brain up.

Answer 8

i think it's normal. everyone says there in a better place but were we think is best is in their house working and living with us. Ur eventually gonna have to stop crying every time u hear about it but it takes it's time and for some people it takes longer. good luck!

Answer 9

Death is harder to deal with,when it's a sudden death,like your Uncle Marty's. Death is just a part of life we have to learn to deal with, just like being born. Everything is born and everything will die someday. Saying prayers will help you deal with it better. Time also will help to heal your pain. To have a strong faith in "JESUS CHRIST " is important. He died for you and me.

Answer 10

hire a shrink or talk to freind/family member or some one close to you they can help you more and they ain't taken notes to rember your name and stuff