If you've seen the movie, "The Notebook", then you somewhat know my problem.
I'm currently with an amazing man that is responsible, caring, and nice. We've been together for 5 years. I love him dearly, but I'm not IN love with him. We have very little sex life, no passion, never say "I love you", never kiss (intimately). We're best friends. It didn't start this way. It's just how HE likes it. Yes, I've tried talking. We have a business together.
I have 2 children from a previous relationship and 2 years ago their father revealed he's still in love with me. He hasn't dated anyone else in 10 years. He's had girlfriends, but not for more than a few weeks. I tried to blow it off at first, but I'm still in love with him, 2. He's the complete opposite. Irresponsible (though, slowly getting there), passionate, romantic, etc. He remembers EVERYTHING about us- down to the color of socks I was wearing when we met 16 years ago. (I DON'T remember everything.)
I have not physically cheated.
2007-04-23 08:34:20 · 13 answers · asked by funnyface 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Note* I've already tried talking to current guy. He was passionate, romantic, etc in beginning (for first year or so)- says he's not really like that. I had resolved to stay for the stability for my kids- giving up the other stuff and wasn't looking for someone else. My ex is the father, but is NOT stable or responsible. Ex is childhood sweetheart- started dating at 16 and were together for 6 years. Kids treasure my current guy but say that I can only marry "daddy." (No, I haven't told them- they volunteer their opinions.) Ex and I live in two different states, btw.
2007-04-23 08:59:32 · update #1
Oh..and ex and I broke up because we were stupid kids. (He cheated when we were 20 and I didn't trust him after that.)
2007-04-23 09:10:11 · update #2
well i think you should choose between the two. if this goes on than it could result in bad outcomes. You should solve it quickly before it gets out of hand.
2007-04-23 08:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by jy6565s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I tell you what I too was in the situation....unfort he was remarried and I was too at the time. I was honest though it tour my soul down, it was in the end the best. I now have 3 more beautiful kiddos in addition to my son and we have 7 yrs behind us~ You will ge there, look at it this was in 18 yrs do you want to be still sitting nxt to your BF or your soul mate...good luck and god bless, You have only 1 life and nobody will win if you dont give it a try!
2007-04-23 08:39:41 · answer #2 · answered by private p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that you should be with the father of your 2 kids plus that would probably mean the world to them and then you guys will have a family try it out.
2007-04-23 08:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by sexxy mommy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a pretty major dilemna. I think the first thing you need to do is take care of your current relationship. Put aside any thoughts you have of the previous man, and worry about your current man.
You owe it to him to be honest about your current relationship. No one is going to hate you for not being in love with him, but you are going to be frowned on for leading him on, or using him, or cheating on him. (Maybe not yet, but eventually.)
Deal with this relationship first. You owe it to him. Be honest with him, and take care of your kids and business.
Then, after this current relationship is COMPLETELY taken care of, you can think about moving on.
If you think you're still in love with the previous guy, start from square one all over again. Date, make out, hang out, whatever. But don't jump from one to another. You don't learn anything about yourself that way.
And yes, after five years, you have lost "yourself". Find "you" again, before worrying about another "us".
2007-04-23 08:41:37 · answer #4 · answered by Allycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont u think if ur husband really loved u than he should left you.......moreover i think you are actually not ready for any relationship as you are too confused about what to do? dont just run behind foolish emotions. may be you are at that status which is again attracting your husband towards u now. so take sometime and think over it each and every aspect ur life as i guess you do have child along with u........bye and happy journey of ur life
2007-04-23 09:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u shoulsd be alone for a little. If your not i nlove with the current guy u need to end it b/c stringing him along is not cool! Take some time for yuorself to think abnoput what u really want.
2007-04-23 08:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! It's hard to say with such little information, but off the hip, I would much prefer your ex husband over someone who had such little emotion and affection to give. Money isn't everything. It's all about happiness, passion, affection, emotion and loved and wanted with someone.
2007-04-23 08:39:00 · answer #7 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch the notebook again. You know the correct answer is in your heart. Go for the one you love dear, would you rather live the rest of your life not knowing??
2007-04-23 08:40:21 · answer #8 · answered by ash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's your ex for a reason. He's offering you ONE THING that you're not getting at home "attention". If you're unhappy at home then you may want to consider leaving, but taking a step down is something you may live to regret.
2007-04-23 08:40:15 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the love of your life. If there is no spark with the current guy, go with the love of your life guy.
2007-04-23 08:41:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋