Anyone have any suggestions in how to cope with infertility? I have been trying for so long to be upbeat and positive, but after numberous fertility treatments to no response, looking into adoption that is way to expensive for my husband and I . I feel like I am at my wits end and don't know exactly how to handle it all. I feel such a desperation and it seems like there is not going to be any type of positive changes coming my way. Any suggestions?
2007-04-23 08:27:01 · 6 answers · asked by luckygirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I am so sorry :( my mom was very upset when she turned 42 and could not have kids anymore. If you really wanted kids you could foster or adopt.
2007-04-23 08:30:20 · answer #1 · answered by Angelacia baybeeeeee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I struggled with infertility for three years before doing IVF and having a baby boy, who is now three. There is no one way to cope. I found talking about it very helpful, but you have to talk to people who went through it. I did not want to hear that I should go on vacation and relax, I did not want to hear about adoption, I wanted to hear that someone understood how unfair it was and that it was an unbearable feeling of having no control over something in your life. You have to stay positive and tell yourself with all the technology today that you will have a baby, maybe not so quickly ( wanted one yesterday) but you will be a mom. I stayed away from events with babies and children only because it was hurtful for me because I thought I may never have the same. Just be patient and keep positve, I hear there are some excellent books out there written by women who went through this too and they are helpful. I am thinking of getting them myself, because no one can understand it unless they've experienced it, and sometimes its nice to know you're not the only one(although you wouldn't wish it on anyone.) There is also a website I used everyday, www.tryingtoconceive.com, it was comforting to read others experiences. Good luck, and remember that you will be a mom. Also, I fould that no one understood the huge financial part of it, it would depress me so much that I had to pay so much for it when others just got to have sex. It is so much money, we are just about ready for number two and we have been saving for three years. It is a huge expense, that is very stressful, I hope knowing that I understand helps you cope a little better.
2007-04-23 08:46:54 · answer #2 · answered by Dena D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. I too waited 7 VERY LONG years to finally have a baby of my own. I lost 3 to miscarriage during that time and I was so sad and discouraged all the time. I did a lot of praying and asking God why. Then He told me that I would have a son when I was 28. I held on to the little amount of hope that I had left and then a few weeks after my 28th Birthday I found out that I was pregnant. Soon after, I found out I would be having a son.
I found that I learned to lean on God more in the times when my life was in His hands and there was nothing I could do but trust Him. I had to give everything to Him and just surrender. That was so hard for me to do! Someone told me that God will give you the desires of your heart and if you truly desire a child then He will give you one in His time. Many times I began to doubt that truth but I held His words close to my heart and believed that some day they would come true.
In the meantime, we decided to do Foster Care and found that because we longed to have children in our home so much, that this is the road God led us down. We later adopted the 2 children we were fostering and became pregnant at the same time. If we had given birth to our child first then I know that we never would have been there to foster & adopt our son & daughter. God had a plan and once His plan was fulfilled, so was our dream. God may have other plans for your life but you need to believe that things will happen in the right timing and you need to ask God what He wants you to do in the meantime.
If you would like to correspond through email then I would love to discuss things further with you. Being able to adopt is a lot easier if you foster first, but it can also be heart breaking at the same time. It is not always the right decision for everyone. I said a prayer for you today and also shed a few tears. I know what you are going through and I know how hard it is. I wish you all the luck!
2007-04-23 12:46:19 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Trying♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to a support group like Infertility Support in Yahoo! chat. It is filled with great women also experiencing the same issue of infertility and may give you some insight on how to overcome your infertility, or to come to terms with it.
2007-04-23 08:35:48 · answer #4 · answered by Fire 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PRAY, PARY, AND DO SOME MORE PRAYING. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. MY HUSBAND AND I TRIED FOR 3.5 YEARS WITH NO LUCK. EVERYONE AROUND ME WAS GETTING PREGNANT AND NOT EVEN WANTING TO OR BEING UPSET ABOUT IT. I DESPERATELY WANTED TO HAVE A CHILD AND SO DID MY HUSBAND. AFTER HE GOT BACK FROM IRAQ WE HAD AN IUI AND I GOT PREGNNAT ON THE 1ST TRY. WE NOW HAVE A HEALTHY 8.5 MONTH OLD BABY BOY. THE DOCTOR TOLD US THAT WE WOULD NEVER GET PREGNANT THE 1ST TRY, IT WAS UNHEARD OF. I TOLD HIM POINT BLANK THAT I WAS NOT LISTENING TO HIM, BUT I BELIEVED THAT GOD WOUL DBLESS US AND HE DID. YOU HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AND DON'T GIVE UP. I THINK THAT IT'S SO CRAZY HOW EXPENSIVE ADOPTION IS. WE LOOKED INTO THAT AS WELL, BUT WE NEVER COULD HAVE AFFORDED IT. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!!!
2007-04-23 09:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by CASEY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get your mind off of it.
I joined an animal shelter. I relaxed. My husband relaxed. We looked into adoption gradually.
The day we got the papers, we found out we were pregnant.
2007-04-23 08:30:33 · answer #6 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋