please answer. I know its horrible, but i need to know...?

Question

im 5 weeks pregnant. My mother and father want me to get an abortion, they both think i'm not ready. It kills me at the thought of killing my own kid, but i need to know, when is it to late to have an abortion?

what do they do? does it hurt?

Answer 1

I think that the latest that you can get an abortion is at 24 weeks. However, I wouldn't suggest that anyone get it after 12 weeks simply because your baby is truly a "living creature" (for lack of a better term). Plus, I think legislation has just made partial birth abortions illegal. I had an abortion and I was 6 weeks pregnant. I discovered so early that I was pregnant that my husband and I actually had to wait a few weeks before I could get one done because they couldn't even pick it up on an internal ultrasound. The abortion I had was a chemical abortion where you take two pills, one immediately and the other about 12 hours later. What you experience is a lot of cramping and heavy bleeding; basically, a self-induced miscarriage. I was on bed rest for two days and I had pain medicine. The other types of abortion are too brutal and heartbreaking to explain but I will give some links to websites that graphically shows what happens during those (view at your own discrection).

Now, about your situation. I don't know how old you are or where you are in life right now but (assuming you are at least 18 years old) know this, it is YOUR decision on what to do. When I had that abortion, our son was only 7 months old at the time and it was because my husband and I decided that we couldn't handle another baby at the time. I thought that I would regret what I did but statistically, most women are able to move on past this event in their life. So, if you do decide to go through with it, REALISTICALLY consider how it will affect you. I haven't had any medical problems related to the abortion but I did have an early miscarriage (6 weeks) before I concieved the baby I'm carrying now, which was only a couple of months after the miscarriage.

If you keep the baby, know that you CAN still accomplish your goals in life. I was a sophomore in college when I had my son, my husband (his father) and I had literally just met when I became pregnant. My father was VERY hurt but since he's very conservative, he said abortion wasn't an option (he doesn't know that I've had one, by the way) and he didn't see how I would continue along my path to success. Now, my father drives two hours almost every weekend to see my son because he is crazy about him, lol!! Bottomline, I'm about to turn 22 years old but still managed to graduate from Florida State with my Bachelor's degree in THREE years (and since I was married with a child, I was awarded extra grant money instead of loans), my husband is working on his Master's, we both have good jobs (with free medical insurance because we both work for the state) and we have a baby girl on the way.

So no matter how your situation looks right now, know that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. I'm a Christian but I'm pro-choice. Whatever your decision, make sure that you will be at peace with God and everything else will fall into place. If you want to email me, feel free to do so.

Answer 2

I don't know when it is too late to have an abortion. I only know that if you have an abortion then it's too late to change your mind.

I want to tell you though that I was in the same situation a very long time ago. My girlfriend ended up pregnant and back then you could get an abortion up through 6 months. We were young and didn't want to get married. We lived in a fairly small town and her parents desperately wanted her to get an abortion.... mainly because they didn't want to go through the " humility" of being seen differently through the public eye. They didn't want to have the towns folk gossiping about them. They also said that she wasn't ready. My parents said I wasn't ready. Nobody was ready for this.... and the truth is that we weren't ready. But who is ever "ready" for an unexpected pregnancy?

She was 5 months along and they had her convinced to go through with the procedure. I was just trying to be supportive and the truth is, I was so young that I didn't know what to do. On one hand, it would be a relief if she wasn't pregnant. It would be easier if she wasn't pregnant. On the other hand, I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that this was my child, my flesh and blood.

I went to see her the night before she was supposed to go through the procedure. I didn't really have a reason for going to see her because we had broken up and the only thing we had left in common was the procedure she was about to have. We sat down and I had no clue what to say. We sat silently with thoughts racing through our minds. I decided to console her and let her know that it's going to be ok and it's for the best... best for me, best for the kid, best for our families. I opened my mouth and the words that came out were, "Don't do it. Let's have this kid. We'll make it through some how."

My son is now 23 years old. He is an extremely talented artist and a gifted athelete. He is charming and handsome, funny and has an incredible, likeable personality. The day he was born is one of my best memories and that memory is just one beautiful memory of thousands.

There were sacrafices at the time and there were tough times. We really thought the world was coming to an end because of that pregnancy. But looking back I can't see what the big deal was. When that kid was born, she changed and I changed and suddenly we were ready. And as it turned out, it was anything but the end of the world.

I will tell you that since making the decision to "keep" him, there has never a moment when I questioned or regretted our decision to have him. I think if you talk to others who have gone through the same situation as you, those who have regrets are those who regret going through the procedure.

This was my experience and certainly you need to form your own choice.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You have your own rights dear. And I'm also against abortion. Have you guys thought over the adoption option. There are SO many wonderful couples out there that are looking to adopt! I had a classmate that went this option, she never had one regret! She also gets updates and pictures of her little one all the time, this is how grateful adoptive parents can be. They were so happy at the chance of having a child that they share this little girls life and makes sure the mother can still take part in the little ones life!I don't really know the length of when you can and can't get any abortion. But I myself strongly plead that you don't! I have also known some that have went the abortion route- they all have many regrets and have went through female problems due to the scraping of the uterus while receiving the abortion. I pray that you strongly talk with your parents and try running the adoption option by them!! Good luck, I'm praying for ya!

Answer 4

I was considering terminating my pregnancy. In my state you can terminate up to 24 weeks. I have since chosen to parent my child. The choice is yours and yours alone so do not let anyone try to push you in any direction because of their own personal beliefs. I would advise you to do your research and really look into all of your options. I know it may be hard but make an appointment at your local planned parenthood and sit down and talk with the family planning nurse. It is nice to have an un-bias opinion to discuss these options with you. It was a very hard decision and I am very happy with the decision I made to keep my baby, I am expecting her here in a couple of months. My parents also asked me to consider an abortion but now that they have dealt with the fact that I am going to have a baby they could not be more excited. I think once the initial shock factor is gone they will be just as happy with the new edition as you will be. So again do your research and weigh your options before making a life changing decision, also find someone to talk to!

Answer 5

yes, 5 weeks abortion is not a problem. This is right time to have abortion. If u late more, then u cant do abortion. But you didnt mention you age. Dont know why your parents are feeling you are not ready for a baby.

Answer 6

Well, this is your decision, not theirs. You should go to Planned Parenthood or any crisis pregnancy center, by yourself, and talk to a good counselor and find out all your options. This is YOUR choice, not your parents.

Here is a link to a fetus's development, so you can see what the "baby" looks like at each week. At 5 weeks, it doesn't really look like a baby yet, but by 10 weeks, it really does. So, if that matters at all to you, then please do not wait too long. I know that's horrible, but this is what you are faced with. Some people believe that life starts at the moment of conceptions. Others believe it is when the baby can survive outside of the womb. For me, personally, I don't think I could do it at all.

I went to a crisis pregnancy center just to talk to a counselor when I found out I was pregnant, and she said mainly what they do is counsel young women who have already had abortions. They are in so much pain from what they have done that they cannot move on with their lives. So, please, whatever you do, make sure you are very comfortable with your decision, and get help, either way.

Answer 7

As much as your parents love you and are only trying to do what's best for you, they are not the ones who have to live with this the rest of their life. It's your decision, and yours alone. You have to make the decision that you can live with. Would you consider giving your baby up for adoption? Or raising the baby yourself? If you feel strongly that abortion is murder, you are probably not a good candidate for that procedure, but only you can make this decision. No matter what your age, I can't stress this enough...you may have a few years of adolescence left...but you have a lifetime of adulthood ahead of you, and your decision will follow you every day of that, no matter what decision you make! Do what YOU feel in your heart, not what anyone else tells you to do. Once you've considered all your options carefully, you may have to tell your parents it's simply not their choice.

(And I just read your question from yesterday...not sure if you want my input or not, but I bled off & on through the first month, and have a healthy baby sleeping in the next room right now. Bleeding DOES NOT conclusively mean you've miscarried...it's just one symptom, and can happen either way.)

Answer 8

first off i'll answer your question 5weeks you can get a abortion i was 6 weeks when i had mine. just make sure you call really soon before its to late. planned parenthood you can call and they can probily squeeze you in for an appointment. you dont need to call a counslor they do that before you have your abortion you'll probily be there all day. they do a sono to check to see how far you are. they give you a check up and they do counsol you to. dont listen to people saying your murdering your baby its not murder its not even a baby yet its a ball of cells right now. the baby cant hear you yet and the baby cant even cry it doesnt even have arms yet. its cells. it should be your choice not these people or your parents so just do whats right for you. i know this is a very hard decision ive been in your shoes i was 16 when i had abortion. but also understand your parents to they dont want to raise another baby they raised you. your there baby. and people trying to say its gonna be exspensive if you have health innsurance it should cover it. all i had to pay was a copay of 10.00.

Answer 9

Hello Brandi...

Like many others have asked, your age may be an important factor. I have not ever had an abortion myself, so I can only tell you what I know. I took a friend of mine to get an abortion 6 years ago, it was a traumatic experience for both of us, more so for her. She regretted it and went on to have twins, however another friend I have, had 2 abortions and she sees nothing wrong with it. This is something that only you can know if you are able to live with it or not. I got pregnant with my son when I was 16, my mother begged me to have an abortion, he changed my world, he is now 12 and we have struggled through much of our life financially, but love was never a question. I love him more than life itself. It impacted my life in so many ways. I now am in school full time and am still struggling financially, but I do not regret my decision to have him. That is the key. If you feel that you can not love, provide, or be a good mom than you have to decide that and ONLY YOU have to live with that. If ppl say it is murder, that is only their opinion, they can not tell you what is best for you or your body. As im sure you are aware of, there are many woman who can not have children and would love to adopt one, but again you will have to be responsible for the baby as it is growing inside you and there are many things you can do that could hurt the baby in its life if you dont take the pregnancy serious. You have a lot to think about and it is only your choice, so my advice to you is make a list of your options and weigh them out. Think deeply about what you can live with and make your decision from there and remember no one can make you choose one or the other, and only you will have to live with your choices.

Answer 10

This is entirely your decision and if you want to include the father on making it, that's up to you also. Do not let others influence you because this is a life or death decision (not for you but for your baby). The first responsible thing would be thinking like a parent, not like your parent's daughter. They didn't abort you right? Then if you decide to keep the baby, they should understand and support you. Go see a ob/gyn about your options and make sure you understand COMPLETELY what the operation is going to be like and how you will feel afterwards. Emotionally and physically you won't be the same either way but you need to be sure you're making the right decision for yourself.