My husband just bought a house and ever sense we moved here he has been very rude and cruel. We are so not getting along. He made me scrub the bathtub when we thought I was losing our third baby. I have had no jobs and I have no education and no place to go. I am scared and I dont know what to do or where to go if I leave. We live in a small town and there is nothing here to help me through this. If you know of anything I could try to get out please let me know.
2007-04-23 07:00:31 · 18 answers · asked by Amber T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Most communities have a women's shelter. Look in your phone book or call the non-emergency police number and ask them if they have a number for it. If not, try churches. If you are Christian and a certain denomination, start there. If not, just try the largest one in your area. They usually have programs and funds to help people.
Good luck! :)
2007-04-23 07:05:08 · answer #1 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you do if you were suddenly on your own with no safety net at all?
You would manage. You would find strength. You would figure it all out, prioritize & take control.
Do that now.
Find a job. Find daycare. Find a home, apartment, living situation. Do you belong to a church? A parents group? Is there a larger town with a women's shelter, services nearby? These can all help.
Start by making a list of the things you would need to do. Make a plan. Break it down into manageable steps. Take it one step at a time & grow stronger with each accomplishment.
There is no reason to stay in a relationship with someone who treats you badly. If you don't think you can reach into his heart & find out what's wrong to make him change like this (and to fix it), then figure out how to move on. You are responsible for your life & your happiness.
2007-04-23 07:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is power. How old are your children? Are they in school? Can you get a job at the school where you will be around when your children are out. As far as the education goes you can get a g.e.d. if no HS I would not stay with with this guy If you divorce you will get half the house and child support and maintenance for 2 years since you are a stay at home mom. The life of a divorced woman with kids will be easier then of a broken woman married with children. Good Luck and God Bless you.
2007-04-27 04:29:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you not even willing to try counseling? Have you talked with him about this? Or is he abusive? If so, you need to get out, it sounds like based on the limited information that you've given that he's cut you off from family and friends. That's never a good sign. Do you have a family member, even in another town, that you could go to? I'm a mother, and if my daughter was in this situation, I would tell her to come home, and we'll figure something out together. If you have fears for your physical safety, call the police, and they can get you and your children to a safe house.
Good luck, please keep you and your children safe.
2007-04-23 07:06:44 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your name is on the assets then you can always call and ask about them. To keep things on the up and up though I would contact a lawyer and let them deal with the assets. They are there to help research and find all of them and make sure you both get your fair share. As for a place to live you could start looking now for a new home for you and your children to rent. It may not be great but renting is temporary and can get you through until your divorce is final. Make sure anything that you have such as a 401K no longer has his name on it. You may have to wait until after the divorce to do a 401K but insurance plans and that sort of thing you could do now. good luck
2016-05-17 06:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry,Ive been there myself.I had 5 kids and no job so I understand how hard it is.I stayed with him for 10 yrs because I was in your situation...no job...no money...no support.You have to take charge.Call social services and explain your situation if you have too,ask a family member or a friend to help.I know it's embarrassing.But my kids are older now and they always tell me what a good mom I am,except that I made them miserable because I stayed in a miserable relationship.My 17 yr. old daughter even told me she was gay recently.I asked her if she thought she was born that way...she replied "I hate men now after watching what you have been through".Now I have to live with that and so does she.Anyway e-mail me if you want and I will help you find some answers!I got away,so can you!Just stay strong and determined.Everything has a way of working out,that I promise:)
2007-04-23 07:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by Alexis P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want out; nothing will stop you. If you have a relative or a friend (preferably one who can also protect you) then go to them. You really have no choice but to live off of the good graces of a friend or family member until you can get back on your feet. That or else run to the nearest large city and go to a battered women's shelter. But are you battered? Sounds like you could be...
2007-04-23 07:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like what John L says. You gave this man babies, and he treats you like dirt?
Someone said to go to a church. You say you live in a small town. I went to a small church, trusted the pastor. I felt like the finger pointing was done at me while I was pregnant. I lost my baby, and my husband treated me like dirt. I asked a question about if what my husband did was abuse. So if you go to a church, go to a big one in a nice size town that has counselors who know what to do.
You don't have help there? I have to drive through this city and another just to get to domestic violence center for counseling. I am also wanting to check out d.v. center in an even bigger city that will be quite a drive. If I have to leave overnight, it'll be clothes on my back and in car kind of deal.
Do you have a car and hiding places? Hide your stuff and kids stuff in trash bags or something so he won't suspect anything. Let me tell you some of them get real mean when they know you are leaving.
Maybe have the stuff in the car trunk you will be taking. If he threatens to call cops to report it missing, tell him you're the mother, he is abusive, you own the car and house with him and you and kiddies have rights not to be treated like dirt, any judge can see that, and you want for him to cool down first before you talk again.
Be sure to check out legal aide, and d.v. centers on the computer and phone book. Look up "Crises" in the phone books for different areas. In my phone book it was not under domestic, it was under crises.
If it comes down to it, use phone number call magistrate in emergency or go to court as soon as he does something or asap, don't wait, tell them what he is doing, file a restraint or protective order. So if he does something stupid when you have the p.o. on him, he can be put in jail, and he is not allowed to abuse you again. You can also request anger management and head exam for him.
If you go through this you think you are losing your baby and he's not helping you, call 911 and tell them to pick you up and keep your husband away from you and your kids. When I was in the hospital, after I lost my baby, they had a nurse and social worker come and help me, gave me lots of info. and an envelope with info and it was very discreet. The social worker told me it sounded like the preacher attacked me. They will hook you up.
2007-04-23 08:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Desyra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds as if he is totally stressed out and not acting himself. You two need to have a heart to heart. He may not realize what he is doing. IF the results of the conversation are not satisfactory, call your father and get some help. YOu have put yourself in a very bad situation....as soon as possible, get back to school, learn a profession and keep those talents active. good luck to you.
2007-04-23 07:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made you scrub the tub? How did he make you? Is he hurting you physically?
Do you have family back home?
Call a lawyer he will have to leave and pay child support and spousal support.
If he is not physically hurting you have you two seeked therapy>
2007-04-23 07:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋