Were you or was someone you know sexually assaulted or victim of a similar crime in the past 20 years?

Question

Were you or was someone you know sexually assaulted or victim of a similar crime in the past 20 years?

In retrospect, what were all the warning signs, or other aspects of the perpetrator that were, or now seem like they should have been, suspicious?

My friend's sibling had trust violated by a person in authority, and I want to do everything I can to make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else.

My plan is to put your answers together to create a personality profile that I will use to make a quiz on http://QuizFarm.com . By answering a series of questions about anyone that you know, you can determine the level of risk the individual carries in relation to others and find the help you may need to take action if necessary.

Thank you very much for your participation in this truly life-saving project.

Answer 1

I was raped when I was 14.

I was so clueless. I had no idea what was happening. My mother never taught me sex ed.

It wasn't until a month after when I told my friend what happened that I realised what had actually happened.


I think the best way you can protect yourself from being violated is to be strong, emotionally and physically. Someone who is abusive, knows exactly how to pick the person. They can sence weakness and low self esteem.

Self defence course would be a good start. Then education. If I had known what was going on was so wrong then I could have been stronger and fought it off. Don't be ignorant, we live in the real world. Children need to know that some people can not be trusted.

Also, be loving and trusting people. Children will follow by example. Be there so if there is ever an issue people know that they can talk to you.

If you need anymore help. Email me.

Answer 2

I was a victim. When I was 16 I was raped and I really thought I was gonna be murdered.

This is a very complex thing. And not easy to answer.
First of all I think you should never trust someone you don't know. But that is quite obvious.
The best warning sign is your own gut-feeling. If you have the feeling that something isn't right, then don't take the risk.

What is an interesting thing is how someone is choosing a victim. Most perpetrators will go for someone who is gullible, who is easily manipulated, who is vulnerable.
They will try to get the victim in an isolated situation. When there are many people around, the chances are far less high that a sexual assault will take place.

Prevention lies very much in educating women in how to handle themselves, be assertive, following their gut feelings, learning them that they don't need to be the nice girl all the time.
Self defense classes are also great. A woman should know what she can do in certain situations.

But it is still a fact that the blame is always on the perpetrator and NEVER on the victim. And perpetrators can be masters in manipulation. As a woman you always have to be aware on the fact that someone might prey on you. In any kind of situation.

Warning signs in my situation:
- He was manipulating me, he was too friendly. Agreeing to everything I said or did.
- He tried to get me to a place in which there would be no-one around to help me. He isolated me from other people. This is a BIG warning sign!!
- I had a horrible gut feeling that I ignored.
- He sensed that, at that time, I was so friendly that I gave him every benefit of doubt. So he manipulated me on my kindness, trying to make me feel sorry for him.

Education might prevent many bad things to happen, but not always. Many sexual predators are just too aggressive, or too clever, or too manipulative. And again, what should be made clear, even if a woman doesn't listen to warning signs or if she finds herself in a situation that is not very clever, it is néver her fault.

Answer 3

NO, AND THANK GOD FOR THAT!