i need help please.Urgent.Serious people only?

Question

Im pregnant and in love with my babys dad, he left a while after he found out i was pregnant, we kept some contact, and we slept together some times.He says he dont love me and dont want to be with me, a year ago I nearly destroyed my life when he left me, now things are getting worse and worse everyday and i keep on texting him and calling him, and i cant stop.He says im obsessed with him, but im not, im just in love and i cant control my feelings.Usually he is ok but can get very nasty, and when i text him a lot he gets really mad I want to be with him, but im doing everything wrong, i should hate him but i cant, can you guys help me?
Only answer if is to help me if not dont bother.
Thanks

Answer 1

Have some respect for yourself it will go a long way if you do. You don't need to be wasting your time on anyone who doesn't give you the time of day. Do not ever waste your time on some one who does not want you and does not treat you with the utmost respect that you deserve. It is a hard thing to do, been there done that. You must keep telling yourself and believing that you deserve better and you do and you will receive that when you believe in yourself and when the time is right for you.

Now please think about what is right for that baby and the right thing would to make sure that she/he has the most loving mother any baby can have. That baby needs to be loved unconditionally. Can you love this baby unconditionaly? Because that needs to be where you are focusing your energy. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

He has told you that he is not in love with you and doesn't want to be with you. There is nothing you can do to force him to change his mind.

Part of the problem is your negative mindset. You say you are not obsessed, just in love, and you can't control your feelings. You are the only one who can control how you feel. Start some positive talk. Look at all the things you could be doing to get ready for this baby. Tell yourself that you want to be a positive role model for your new child, and figure out how you can do that. Start small. If you don't think that you are a strong, competent, capable woman, take steps to make yourself one. When you are feeling better about yourself, you will not 'need' this guy, and then you leave him in the past and move on with your future.

Answer 3

You need to concentrate on yourself right now, you have a baby on the way and this stress can not be good for either of you. As for him, you can't keep someone around if they do not want to be there. I know, I was with someone for a long time and I loved him so much that I would do anything for him; but it turned out that he did not love me at least not enough to stay faithful. I say you should concentrate on yourself and the baby; back away from him. Do not call him, do not text him; doing this could go either one of two ways for you. It could either give him a chance to actually stop and think about everything that is happening and let him process the entire situtation and he could decide that he wants to be with you. Or he decides that he does not want to be with you but you have already cut him out of your life as much as you can so it will still hurt but it would be an expected kind of pain and you will have already (hopefully) begun to move on. So put down the phone; do not call or text him, do not stop by to see him; oncentrate on your and your baby's health, that is what is most important right now. Good luck

Answer 4

The problem with your request for help is that none of us will be able to do so. Because you aren't ready to hear the truth which is you are obsessed with him. You can control your feelings. When you start to think about him, get up and do something. Go shopping, visit friends. Don't sit at home moping over him. When you're at home, leave your phone in the other room or turned off so you won't be tempted to use it to text or call.
Have some pride, girl. Why do you want to be with someone who treats you like that? You deserve better. You really do. Don't let insecurity make you settle for someone not good enough for you.

Answer 5

You need to stop what you are doing. Why are you hurting yourself. I know you are emotional because your harmones are out of wack. But how much emotional abuse are you going to put yourself through. He tells you he doesn't love you but you sleep with him. You end up pregnant and he leaves you. None of that is good. Start getting ready for your baby's arrival. I don't know if you are an adult or teenager but you need to start putting your energies into other things. Like what kind of life you are planning for your baby. Do you have all the things you need for the baby's arrival? Is your paperwork together to take leave from work? Concentrate on that baby and yourself not him. That is my advice to you. I hope you take it because it is going to be sad to know that some young woman is chasing a man who doesn't want her. My cousin went through the same thing. Pinning over a man she was pregnant by who didn't want her, come over for sex every once in awhile and he made it known that he didn't want a relationship and he didn't want a baby. She thought things were going to change once he saw his baby. NOT. He has paid child support for 8 yrs., seen the boy twice out of his whole life. He went and married someone else and don't think about this child.

Answer 6

You need to let go.Seriously, that's the only good advise I have on the subject. If he leaves you and says he doesn't want to be with you and only comes back for 'favors' then it is a really bad relatonship. Also, yelling=abuse.It seems he doesn't want to take responsibility for your child either, so he'll make a grudging dad-I don't think it'd be good for your child.
It's going to take time, but you should try and let go!
When the time comes, go look for someone nice that loves you too. There's more than one guy in the world-even if things look different at the moment. It'll save you "heart ache time " in the long run.

Alternatively try to give him more space (less texting, etc)...I doubt it'll work though, since it sounds as if he wants far more space than you are willing to give him(since he doesn't want to be with you) ...

I don't know how helpful you find this, but I tried.

Answer 7

if he got you pregnant he needs to step it up and atleast have the mother father relationship. You cant make someone love you that doesnt. Dont torture yourself any longer. You should tell him that if he didnt love you he shouldnt have gotten you pregnant to begin with. Its just wrong of him to have even got you in this position. believe me i've been through this before, you have to just cut him off cold turkey. Once you leave him alone long enough and he realizes that he is missing so much in the childs life he will be begging to talk. So do your self a favor and send him one last text message that tells him that you love him very much so you are going to let him be, ask him if he wants to be contacted when you are in labor, if he doesnt. that is not your fault. he will soon realize his stupidity. Then after the last text message send him a message saying best of luck in the future and start living your life for your baby, not him. If you need anymore support let me know. The best of luck babe

Answer 8

you have to let him go, he doesn't want a relationship with you and is not ready to be a parent that is why he left in the first place, you have someone else besides yourself to think about and that is your child, the best thing you can do is file for child support so you can make sure that this child is taken care of financially whether he is in the child's life or not you don't want to take the chance and depend on him because to do anything since he has basically already left the child and most likely wont be in the child's life in the future since he thinks the only way to do that is to have a relationship with you which isn't what he wants......

Answer 9

If you want my advice, stop ALL contact w/ him. No calls, no texts, no visits.
That will get his attention and maybe he'll realize how much he misses you.
No offense, but the only thing you are doing right now is be a pain in his ***.
Forget about him. Have your baby. If he wants nothing to do w/ you or the baby - so be it, ditch him and move on.
There are so many men that are out there.

Answer 10

This guy sounds like an ***, so it's kinda like you are just obsessed with him. It's not your fault though, it happens to a lot of girls. But you need to move on with your life. Worry about keeping you and your baby safe and healthy. You'll be happy about it later on, and maybe you will even meet a new guy who loves you back, and shows respect for you and your child. Good luck and I hope you start feeling better really soon. You sound like a nice girl, and this guy doesn't deserve someone like you. : )