My husband and his habits....?

Question

Me and my husband have been together for nearly six years and we are expecting our first born this summer. We have just recently been married although not much has changed.
He is absolutly addicted to porn. He says it has nothing to do with me, and promises not to do it anymore when I confront him, but sure enough I catch him again...always on accident. I want to experiance a more sexual relationship with him, but I feel akward when all that he shows interest in is porn. I love him with all my heart, but I feel that if this is not resolved, our marriage could crumble. Is this all in my head or do I have a point? I understand "boys will be boys," but our sex life is always put on the back burner- no matter how much I try to engage in sexual activity, he shows no interest in it. This has gotten dramatically worse in the last few months, and being pregnant makes it even more emotionally draining. Is it really me?

Answer 1

sit with him and watch porn and find out what about it that he likes so much. Maybe you need to try something different. Do you talk to him about sex. You should sit down together and find out what is wrong with your sex life and what you need to do to improve it. Don't go to him in an accusing manner but sit and talk in a constructive way. Let him know about how you feel and what turns you on and what turns you off. Find out the same from him. Don't just talk, dig deep and get to the real problem. If you have an open mind and ready to try any thing then that can make your sex life exciting. (when I say open minded I'm not talking about threesomes because I think that disgusting.) In a nut shell, you and he need to work this out together and get it resolved as soon as you can before it puts even more strain on your relationship.

Answer 2

Nope, afraid in a geniune, deep, meaningful realtionship, this doesn't happen. Usually if he loves you (truly feels for you and your presences in his life) it doesn't matter whats going on he is going to love doing that with you. This specks of higher problems you've already accepted. Like his lack of emotion. His inability to be friends with you. The fact that he probly has a habit of stress out about small things, and picks fights. If not that he is the other way and barely relates to you to the point were you usually have no clue whats going on. Lets just say boyz will be boyz, but men move to there own beat. You little boy there hasn't made the steps in his own mind and heart to accept that he feels for you deeply enough to care when you get off. Hate to put it like that but your feeling it yourself, how that little thing just doesn't matter to him. This tends to happen when a relationship is all about the lovin and has nothing to do with a geniune friendship. Which means your marriage become what most marriages become, a business agreement not to sleep with other people and to raise a family, not good! The fact is not only is your sexual intimacy suffering but so is the entire act of intimacy in your relationship. There is two ways out of this, ether you guys began to actually share your emotions and feelings in a caring and deep matter or you get a therapist to help you do it. I'm sorry but the fact is porn isn't an addiction, is obesity an addiction? Is insomnia an addiction? No, porn "addiction" is a sexual dysfunction. He has split his sexual satisfaction in such away that sex is all an ego trip to him, its suppose to be emotionally satisfing. When you take this away, it takes away all long term satisfaction and leaves a person in a constant state of whating more..... he needs help honey..... it seems like an addiction because of the constant need, but the constant need is a symptom of his inability to satisfy himself with you... it isn't your fault, nor is there anything special you can do beyond getting him to open up with it. Unfornatunely if after 6 years its just been going down hill, your communication channels are going to be hard to open up again. Your going to have to confront him with the fact he feels he needs this, not just the addiction itself. He needs to learn new ways, to handle stress, relate with you, relate with himself, and to find other ways to satisfy his ego, while you satisfy his heart.... good luck