An Indian boy/man (age 30), after two years, repeatedly refuses arrange marriage meetings his parents continue to set up for him. He continues to tell his parents that he is in love (and wants to marry) a caucasian girl, but they refuse to even consider this. He says if he marries someone in an arranged marriage that he does not love, he will make their life miserable. What will his parents do to him, over time, if he keeps refusing arranged marriage meetings and his parents refuse to accept his choice for marriage?
2007-04-23 05:23:17 · 21 answers · asked by cj.blue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The parents of the girl you love should be included to solve this problem.Bring along other senior members of your family and have them stand for you and convince your parents. If your love for the girl is very deep, then you can marry despite the disapproval of your parents. But the best course would be to make them see your view point. Also see their view point. Don't be unduly rigid. All that glitters is not gold. Your parents do have a point which probably you are unable to see because of the euphoria that love generates. Remember that love is a reservoir of nectar that may dry up in later years.
2007-04-25 00:23:16 · answer #1 · answered by Ishan26 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows what his parents might do but my guess is they'll most likely disown him.
Most families from Indian don't believe in the Western idea of romantic love. That doesn't mean that an arranged marriage is a life long sentence of loveless intimacy. Actually arranged marriages do as about as well as marriages produced by free choice. Just look at the US where 50% of all new marriages end in divorce.
The arranged marriage is all about the politics of the extended family. It's not just how do you get along with your spouse -but how well your spouse gets along with the rest of the family.
In a traditional culture there is a lot of pressure to play out your pre-prescribed role. Breaking with tradition threatens the foundation that family is built on.
Young men with these kinds of problems, sometimes join the Army, often become permanent college students or sometimes take a foreign trip and disappear. He has to make a choice, it's either his happiness or his parents happiness -with plenty of possibilities that neither party will be happy.
2007-04-23 05:55:33 · answer #2 · answered by brianjames04 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. People don't understand why. With the system americans use, there are more divorces and people having sex before marriage. I think the arranged marriage system is equally as good as the normal way because almost everyone I know that got arranged marriage never cheated or had serious fights. Both husband and wife in the arranged marriage system support each other equally. My parents had an arranged marriage with same level of education, so if they divorced, I cannot live properly without both of their contributions. However, arranged marriage system is not better than 2 lovers living together for an eternity.
2016-05-17 05:40:25 · answer #3 · answered by shawnee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It certainly would be very wrong to marry in an arranged marriage and make some poor, unsuspecting woman miserable! If you are indeed 30 years old, leave home or perhaps leave the country (find a job) and then proceed with your chosen lifestyle.
2007-04-23 05:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by bevrossg 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He is 30 years old..first of all he's not a boy..he's a man and it's about time he acted like a man. He has the choice to marry whoever he wants and his parents will just have to accept that.
2007-04-27 03:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by Luv Peace 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why people think that a parent choosing a partner is acceptable (in any culture) is beyond me. I say, let him choose who he wants to spend the rest of his life with instead of forcing a woman that he does not know on him. He has the ability to think and speak for himself and should be respected by his parents for this ability. Men even in civilized countries like America are hard to come by. Let him marry the caucasian girl, that is his choice for a wife.
2007-04-23 05:41:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eventually they will stop arranging the marriages. Love doesn't work the way your parents want it to. Sure it may have for them, but from what we constantly hear, they are the lucky ones. Usually these things don't last. And I understand tradition. Don't get me wrong, I think traditions are great. However, the heart wants what the heart wants and not you or anyone else can tell it otherwise.
2007-04-23 05:28:54 · answer #7 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No adult, whether a boy or girl, can be forced into a marriage. The parents are doing a great disservice to the boy by insisting on a marriage, much against his will.
2007-04-25 00:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It`s better 4 his parents 2 accept his love.
We can take out(by force) a horse up to water pot, but can`t make the horse 2 drink the water until & unless horse wishes.
If he forcefully agreed 4 arranged marriage, but later there r chances 2 arise many problems.that will be big headache ffor them.
2007-04-23 17:40:47 · answer #9 · answered by swaagat143 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I have been looking for something similar to this line! Except my problem is charotar and surti patel! I am charotar and she is surti, and my mom is against the idea of love marriages. But when she talks to someone on the phone that she knows had love marraige, on the phone she will say stuff like it's best as long as both of them are happy, but when i try talking to her, all she say is i am finding you a girl. I don't know what to do!
2007-04-23 08:58:20 · answer #10 · answered by abe_cooldude 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋