would you be jealous of ur husbands ex from elementary school?

Question

I know it sounds dumb, but everytime he sees her now that they are grown up, he comforts her when she is down and he takes her to lunch. The few times that he sees her he treats her better than he ever treats me. So thats why im a little jelaous, he says that they are just friends. Am i making a big deal? by the way i didnt find out they went out to lunch till today ( and it was through a text message i found on his cell phone) and that happened last year. HElp please?!!?!?!??!

Answer 1

Being jealous of her is rather pointless. The real problem--according to you--is in how he treats you. She's not the problem; you see him being capable of being supportive and respectful, and it hits you that this is something missing--possibly--in your relationship with him.

So that's where you need to start. Why isn't he supportive and respectful toward you? Start paying attention to how you two treat each other, and if neccessary discuss this stuff.

Answer 2

I'm wondering why you were going through his messages? Does this man have no privacy--no life at all apart from you? Is he allowed to have a friend? Can he go out to lunch with another human being without informing you about it, even if its with an old acquaintance? Are you that insecure that he has to bare his soul to you, every waking moment of the day? Does he actually treat her better than he treats you, or is she simply more appreciative than you are? Do you even love this man; or are you his warden, assigned to make his life miserable? Look in the mirror and ask yourself that question.

Answer 3

overcoming jealousy
"Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretence of keeping it alive."
Havelock Ellis

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this is a great sight. I personally think you have every right to be jelous. But, remember, that high levels of stress will only hurt you in the end..

Answer 4

My girlfriend is saying that you have a right to be jealous. Because he is spending more time with the girl then with you, when you are the one that wants more attention from him. Maybe with the whole treating deal, he doesn't feel the need to impress you because he like you so much, but then it kinda seems like he wants to impress this other girl. So, she thinks you have a right ot be jealous.

me on the other hand. I don't think it's a big deal, he is just an old friend having a good time with her. The fact that you read his text message without him know tells me you have trust issues. i think that you should try to befriend the girl and maybe go on some outings with them.



Good Luck!

Answer 5

discover her a sparkling boyfriend, ok, i know that is not humorous. I also have a pal who went by way of a similar element till the youngsters have been grown. It incredibly sucked for her and he or she would do issues like not answer the telephone while she called and her husband wasn't homestead, She would take the telephone off the hook while her husband replaced into homestead each and every so often. you will merely would desire to stay with it till the youngsters are grown. merely remember you're his spouse now, the single he needs to be with.

Answer 6

Your husband shouldn't be taking another woman out to lunch or treat her better than he would his own wife. Did his marriage vows include, "To forsake all others?" Seems he has a problem remembering that. Remind him in a way that he won't forget.

Answer 7

Don't make assumptions, but you do have valid reasons for concern. I would investigate this more and maybe talk to the ex elementary girl. Prob nothing to worry about, but why are you not included in their meetings, any friend of his should be a friend of yours!!!

Answer 8

Ask your husband if he would approve of you doing the same with an old flame.
I'm sure you would get a negative response from him. And when this happens, just remind him of what he's doing and that it needs to stop.

Answer 9

Tell him how you feel, if he feels the need to help her, then you should be included in the lunches and text messages. He should not be doing these things behind your back.

Answer 10

I think you should be included. If he has a problem with that, then yes, there is a problem.
You may find that she is a really cool person and end up being better friends with her than he is.
Good Luck