after 15 yrs with living with a man who is insecure i feel attracted to this younger man who i know feels attracted to me..yet my mind says be sensible what is sensible putting up with crap and mindless discussions about nothing..and fights about nothing...or leaving..i cant get this fella whos lovely to me out of my head.. tried to for a year now. I know insane crazy and fed up here.
2007-04-23 04:05:25 · 19 answers · asked by cleo_alter_ego 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
oops no i havent cheated i walked away a year ago when i felt the attraction... i just still think about it. Esapecially when my husband tells me no man would want me.. then says hes joking..
2007-04-23 04:14:50 · update #1
The best and foremost advice I can give you is, DO NOT CHEAT!! If you are 100% sure that you do not love him then ask for a divorce. If you are not sure how much you love him then ask for a separation. You might be amazed at what happens when you do this. If he loves you he will probably do all he can to save the marriage. If he doesn't love you he will probably agree with you or even plain out ask for a divorce. If children are involved do your best to have a "nice" divorce and try to remain friends with your x. If you cheat on your husband with this 33 yo do you think this guy will respect you? I know I wouldn't. Once you are legally separated you are free to do anything you want.
2007-04-23 05:04:22 · answer #1 · answered by Donq 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any man, younger, older whatever the case may be, is going to look better than what your husband does at the moment.
Because of the senseless arguing, putting up with crap, you could be looking for a easy way out. But trust me, as I speak from experience, the grass is not greener on the other side. You just might need to take the lawn mower to the side you are on and realize that the grass is perfect where you are.
You and your husband, took vows 15 years ago, that no matter what, sickness and in health, richer or poorer, to be married. Maybe the two of you just need to have a nice romantic get away, and rekindle what you both know and that is the love that either one of you have for each other.
You need to help him with his insecurities, even though you may sound like a broken record, or even talking to a five year old. If all he needs is reassurance, give it to him. The other suggestion I have is marriage counselling.
It is so much easier to throw a marriage away and not to care anymore. Put the effort (both of you) and repair what is broken. You will probably fight over therapy, but don't forget, sometimes a good mindless arugment can be good for the soul. Just don't go overboard with the name calling and things.
Good luck.
2007-04-23 11:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by jesterthemutt2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage is suppose to be a partnership between two people for better or worst. If for 15 years you have continued to ask, want and need the husband that you married and its the same ole with nothing happens except you giving and not getting anything out of your marriage it shows that your husband will never change or that he doesnt care about the way you feel because he would have made that effort to do so for you.
I would say then take care of your current situation if divorce is your only option than do it. You may have feelings for this person because they have qualities you are looking for and arent getting out of your current relationship and you dont want to step into another relationship until you are confident about what your true feelings are.
good luck to you,
2007-04-23 11:13:53 · answer #3 · answered by GA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So if your b/f is such a sh!t head, then why did you stay with him for 15 years?
If you are attracted to a BETTER LIFE (see how I didn't state a better man), then you need to move out, and be on your own for a while. Test the waters if need be.
You may just like the life of being single. Coming and going when you want. Not answering to anyone. Seeing whom you want. Only cleaning up after yourself. Having peace and quiet when you need and want it.
2007-04-23 11:13:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but it hurts !Infidelity sucks and it is no and no for me!Everything goes well till the faults starts to be the main issue here.Why not sit down and rectify rather to justify the replacement you re talking about!Comparison is good as it makes you do better the next time.In marriage there should not be comparsion but commitment and development!
2007-04-23 11:13:05 · answer #5 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After the way your husband treats you, you know not all men are like him and you have proof of that. If your husband had any sense, he would cherish what he has instead of trying to ruin things. Tell him that too.
2007-04-23 11:55:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dr. Phil always says...you don't fix a marriage by going outside the marriage.
From experience, I say deal with the marriage, work on it until you fix it or are divorced. Lots of guys drive us wild, but then....you are married and the current social climate deplores cheaters.
2007-04-23 11:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by grapeshenry 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree with kitkat. It's obvious that you wedding vows don't mean anything to you.
I think you and your husband need marriage counceling, but also look back to what made you fall in love with your husband. And pursue that.
2007-04-23 11:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably in your 30s also Woman hit the peak around that age . Either your going to be a sl*t or not its all up to you.
2007-04-23 11:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your husband is insecure. Given that you are in lust with another man, it appears that he has good reason to feel insecure! Regarding fights about nothing -- it takes two to fight. If you did not agree to participate in these fights, there would be no fights.
2007-04-23 11:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋