Now that my husband is married, is it appropriate for his ex-girlfriends mother to be calling him when his ex-girlfriends car breaks down? The ex-girlfriend just recently calling him everyday with one thing or the other supposedly about the kids that they have together, but up until she found out that we finally got married, he wasn't even aloud to see his children. what's so different now that we are married than before he was married. He hasn't changed he's still the same man. Why is her mother calling him to come to her rescue?
2007-04-23 04:01:41 · 18 answers · asked by stella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They didn't realize they were being cut out of the loop until he took that step towards marriage. It's a control thing. Boy, are you going to have problems/issues down the road if this isn't gotten under control quickly. It's not his responsibility to be there for his ex--broken car or leaky faucet or anything. But she is probably holding the kids over his head and he thinks he is doing it for the kids. Ground rules need to set down now as to how much he can do for her and have involved he is in her life, not the kids lives. Good luck--I think you are going to need it. Remember -- Rules, definately rules so everyone understands their place and their limits.
2007-04-23 04:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by dana 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Does his ex-gf need that car in order to get to work to support your husband's children? If so, then, yes, it's completely appropriate for the children's grandmother to call the children's father to help. If you didn't want to be married to someone with children, then you should not have married someone with children. Why he happens to be more in demand now than before is truly none of your business. He has children and he should take care of them.
2007-04-23 04:07:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the mother is overstepping her boundaries for sure. It is not within reason that she would call your husband for help when something happens to her daughter, unless it directly affected the children (for example, the mother is sick and can not care for the children herself). The ex is a bit trickier. I think the answer really lies in how your husband reacts to her calls. If he is genuinely interested in his children's welfare, he will have to talk to his ex once and a while. Maybe now that he's married the ex sees him as a more reliable person, and she feels more comfortable with thier children being in his care now that you are in the picture.
If I were you, I would sit down with my husband and make sure that some ground rules are set-and he has to let the ex know. The mother of his ex has no reason to contact him. The mother of his children should be able to call him, as long as it is strictly child-related-him fixing her car is out of the question.
2007-04-23 04:11:16 · answer #3 · answered by Miss Pink 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Since your husband has children with this woman, why hasn't he filed for visitation rights? Does he pay child support? If not, have you ever encouraged him to do so? You married a man with baggage--baggage you already knew about. If these women are calling him, he (not you) needs to deal with the problem.
2007-04-23 04:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married a man with children. That's not going to change. You are going to have to get used to both them, and their mother being in your life. All these people talking about "ground rules" crack me up. Here are some ground rules for you - If you don't want this kind of drama in your life, don't marry a man who casually makes, then dumps his family.
2007-04-23 04:17:52 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have sex with their ex for many years after they break up especially if they have children together you knew he had sex with her before you married him so don't be mad he still is the same man..
2007-04-23 04:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boy do i know where you are coming from.ive had a nightmare time over the last couple of yrs dealing with my fellas ex ringing for one reason or another.they have a child whos now a teenager.then just as youve experienced it was her bloody mother ringing for jobs that needed doing around her own flat.shes got grown up sons but moans they are useless.100% right unless it DIRECTLY involves their child theres no bl***y reason to pester him.all in all dont they realise how weak and reliant they look???it used to pester the brains out of me and i will no longer tolerate it.so dont put up with it for a second more.as long as he pays his dues as a dad thats where the buck stops.
2007-04-23 04:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a hard one. They have kids and they need a car so if he can fix it that is good. Her not allowing him to see the kids is wrong and he should go to family court. Evidently you were not a threat to her when you were dating but now that you are the wife you are. Go figure?!?
2007-04-23 04:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to make it crystal clear to his ex that the only time she needs to call is in regards to the kids. And that her mother or other family members are not allowed to call unless it is an emergency.
The ex should be taking care of her own car problems. It's not your husbands responsibility.
2007-04-23 04:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's very disrespectul to you and your marriage for the mother of the ex girlfriend to call him for help. He needs to politely put his foot down and state that he's not in a position to help anymore etc...they'll either get over it or not. He's not responsible for them anymore =) Good luck!
2007-04-23 04:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋