Recently I found out that my husband was looking for an ex on the net. He told me that they only kissed, no sex, and that she was more like a friend to him. When I asked him, why after all this time would he try to find her and this was his response. "Because I just did." How lame is that? Don't I deserve a better answer? Stuff like this is the reason I don't trust him.
2007-04-23 03:57:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have to admit, I've done wrong stuff too but Im trying to change and he isnt. And plus, he was doing things before we even got married. I thought he would change. I guess I was wrong. I guess we were wrong for each other. Thank you for your answers.
2007-04-23 04:16:36 · update #1
I've looked up people from my past, both friends and former boyfriends, in the past few years. It's not about trying to recreate the friendship or the relationship. It's more about curiousity - wondering whatever happened to those people who were a part of my past - hoping that they're lives turned out just as nicely as mine.
If there's nothing else wrong with your marriage besides this one thing, then what makes you think that this means you are wrong for each other? Maybe your husband just wants his old flames to see how happy he is now with you.
2007-04-23 04:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's natural to feel curious about past relationships, wondering where that person is now, especially someone you had feelings for. It doesn't mean you are unhappy in your relationship now. It just means you are curious.
However, you say you don't trust your husband. I don't think this alone is a reason not to trust him, but it sounds like there may be more. Only you know why you feel like this. You know deep down in your heart whether or not you are just being paranoid, or whether there is a real possibility your husband may find someone else. You know him better than anyone. Trust your instincts, but at the same time, don't smother him. Sometimes it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. Your mistrust can eventually drive him to cheat.
2007-04-23 04:07:26 · answer #2 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think people have become fascinated with being able find people on the internet....searching for someone is almost like an addiction to some people...and they really never even have a reason for finding them, except to prove to themselves that they "won" or something. My husband also went through this stage....and contacted very few people (male and female)...and yes some of the females were ex girlfriends. I just decided that I could let this new found "hobby" of his turn things into a fight for us, or I could get envolved and keep the situation under control. So I started helping search for his friends...and I was really better at it than him...and I think it kinda scared him away from wanting to contact anyone that might be tempting because he knew that if I helped him find them that I could surely figure out if he was talking to them or anything else. And to his surprise, I did encourage him to email a couple females that were very good friends...and he sent them pictures of our family and they talk on occassion, but he doesn't keep the conversations from me! Give him the surpise of his life and just give in a little bit...he'll either be smart and do things the right way and keep you involved or he'll have enough rope to hang himself! If you keep telling him know...or throwing a fit....and if he wants to bad enough, he'll just do it behind your back! I know I have a different point of view, but I've found out the hard way that being hard on them just makes things worse! I hope my point of view helps a little bit!
2007-04-23 04:08:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What?? Once a liar always a liar. Damn how can you be married to a man who lied about his KIDS~ That's BLOOD~ Geesh, we can deal with it (lies) to some sort of degree; Now had he said he mother will not let me see them; it will sit a little better; But to say he adopted them is SAD and DUMB~ girl it will make me second guess the whole marriage cause who in the hell wants to marry a guy and he has been married 4 times before~ Makes the mood go away~ And you should not be searching up his dirty laundry~ Makes you feel like the marriage is based on lies. Damn ask him has he had a HIV test and what was the results? I am serious cause he can lie about saying he took it or saying he has no STD's. Girl you go u FBI~
2016-05-17 05:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my ex was looking up a former g/f, he found her, they had an affair, and married 5 months after our divorce.
If you guys are going through some rough times with your marriage, and he's looking up old flames, either you guys start to get your relationship back on track or learn to cope without each other in your daily lives.
2007-04-23 04:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you do deserve a better answer . but at the same time let me tell you that ur husband has no better answer than this . the reason is that saturation has come into ur relation .
2007-04-23 04:08:31 · answer #6 · answered by erich s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it bothers you and why the need to find his ex as she might someone else wife or ex.LET the past remain as the past.Raking up them costs more trouble than happiness.
2007-04-23 04:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that he is just looking into to find out how shes doing etc or maybe hes wanting to get in contact with her so he could make with something he did and he wants to apologize and that's why hes being evasive about why hes contacting her
2007-04-23 04:03:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
My ex was looking for his old love online too-- and he found her. It was me!! We are now together 25 years after we met.
Watch him, somethings up.
2007-04-23 04:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is full of crap. He looking for this woman because he wants to see her. He's either bored, or unhappy. Either way, he's a sneak and a liar.
2007-04-23 04:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋