I have been married for 4 months...now Im suffering from it... he seemed like a confident, fun man b4 I married him...but now I realize he is not confident at all, I admit that I dont love him, but he blames me for not showing enough love to him...then how can I fall in love with him after hearing that... he always says he loves me very much, and makes me feel guilty that I dont have feelings for him... although he has some good qualities, he's intelligent, loyal, responsible, he is not romantic, not confident, doesnt have a good body type, and we have different personalities, Im an adventurous person, I have a lot of interests, but he is very conservative and he doesnt like the things I like, I find it so bored with him...and bcos of the different personality, we carry different views all the time... in addition, our sex life is not satisfied... I only had sex with one man b4 getting married, and my exbf is a lot better than him in bed...
I dont know what to do, should I divorcehim
2007-04-23 03:56:01 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Soooo, why on earth did you marry him? Sounds like someone wanted their day of being the center of attention, and didn't think this one through very well, huh?
2007-04-23 03:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You obviously got married to soon. You must have had your reasons for marrying him in the first place. But you have only been married for 4 months. Imagine what it would be like if you stayed with him in 10 years time. You are supposed to be happy newlyweds. No-one can tell you what to do about this, you have to decide for yourself. Just dont stay with him because it is too hard to leave. Commit to this marriage or get out of it. You have to choose. You cant keep on living the way it is now. Remember, you will be more lonely with the wrong guy than you will be by yourself.
2007-04-24 21:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by saturdaygirl4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in stage of adjustment since your marriage is only 4 months. Im sure you love him even just a little, but now learn to love him more because he is your man already. Don't compare him with your exbf because it might getting worst... Just think that he is the most handsome/sexy man in the whole world. Take him into your adventure and find way to enjoy it together, Im sure he won't embarrase you if you will do it. Communication is important.
2007-04-23 05:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by gandakoh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... sounds like you have made a huge mistake. I'm not even going to ask the obvious questions about your relationship BEFORE the marriage b/c it sounds like you've pretty much had it.
You still have time to get an anulment. However, with that said, you should really question yourself and your reasons to marry him to begin with. See a therapist so that you don't find yourself in this situation again. Marriage is not a "trial" status. That's why there's the cohabitation option if you're not sure. Good luck.
2007-04-23 04:26:06 · answer #4 · answered by Chaos_Mngr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!! and i thought i had problems with my marriage and divorce. Listen, sounds like you almost have your mind made up. But let me tell you, divorce isn't a pic-nic either. I'm not saying you should stay with him. But when it comes to your sex life it takes two in order to make it interesting. if you aren't into it, how can he be? Marriage is 50/50. You get out of it what you put into it. I went through the same thing shortly after i got married. I thought, i just made a huge mistake. But you know not everyday is like that. The guy you married may not be the one. You need to talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel before you drop the big divorce thing on him.
2007-04-23 04:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why did you marry him? Did you marry him for money, convenience, security?
Anyway, if you want to save the marriage, go see a marriage counselor, maybe they can help with your problems. Also, don't ever compare one man to the other when it comes to sex, each one is different in their own way.
On the other hand, if you really don't want to save your 4-month young marriage, why not go and get an anullment instead of a divorce? I think in your instance you could claim you married him on false pretenses.
2007-04-23 04:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by lremmell64 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've already made your decision. Go with the decision you've made. Or stick it out. Marriage is not all fun and games, it take compromise and a good foundation. Looks like there wasn't one. Things are doomed if there are so low expectations already. Four months in is better than 40 yrs in. From what I read, looks like ur all ready to go, just need the papers signed.
2007-04-23 04:03:26 · answer #7 · answered by bernard_bonds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before any more problems will occur:I would go for divorce.
Try to work it out though may be you just react to the fact that you are married.But if you do not see long term happiness-then what the hell???Just do it and enjoy your life tothe fullest.Staying married unhappily-does not serve anyone's best interest!!
2007-04-23 04:01:22 · answer #8 · answered by Bonanza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apparently, you didn't take enough time BEFORE marrying the man to figure out what he was really like.
we need to step back and take a good, hard look at the person we are considering marrying... not jump into it blindly.
you should do whatever it is you need to do for yourself. no one here at Yahoo Answers can make that decision for you.
2007-04-23 04:14:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is their a health problem, doctors do give samples of those stemilating drugs, why did you marry in the first place, looks like you both might be suffering a bit, try counsling before you do the other.
2007-04-23 04:03:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋