Does a spouse have a reasonable expectation?

Question

When a couple get married do both parties have a reasonable expectation that there will a sexual relationship between them on a regular basis for many years to come? If one party starts refusing this part of the relationship does that give the party who wants to still have a sex life to look elsewhere? If not, dosen't it seem a little unfair that a spouse expects his/her partner to remain faithful but they won't be intimate with them.

Answer 1

U R Right! It is against the moral values to refuse the demand of making love. The matter may be resolved by talking. Discussion helps to kill the doubts.

Answer 2

It is a fair expectation that there should be a reasonable amount of regular sex in a marriage. Sex was meant for marriage, and within a marriage is the only time that sex is pure and honorable.

Consider, though, that good sex is the by-product of a loving relationship where complete trust and communication exist.

If "one party" starts refusing sex, then this indicates an underlying problem.

It is up to that party to communicate his or her feelings. It is also up to the other party to provide a safe environment where that person feels comfortable sharing those feelings, without having to worry about being attacked verbally.

Therefore.. you both must talk and get to the bottom of what the problem is.. then work on it.. together. The sex will come back when the trust and communication come back.

But to answer the second part of your question.. cheating is NEVER okay. There is never a good reason for it, and it is never justified.

Talk to your spouse.

Answer 3

Couples do have a reasonable expectation of sex in a marriage. When one party starts refusing, there is a reason for it. It still doesn't give the other party the right to look elsewhere. After all, marriage vows to be faithful only to each other exist.

Rather than looking elsewhere, the better solution would be to turn to each other, resolve things, and get things back to the way they were.

Answer 4

The sexual relationship is a very important part of any marriage. Instead of looking to fulfill those physical needs elsewhere, I would be concerned as to why the spouse isn't interested in intimate relations anymore, and want to find out why? There could be many physical issues involved, there could also be emotional issues. There could be issues with the marriage, and this person is using sex as a bargaining tool (ie: give me what I want, and I'll give you what you want.) But as long as you are married, you do not have the right to look elsewhere for sexual fulfillment, regardless if you're getting it at home. Find out what's wrong, because something is seriously wrong. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 5

It is a reasonable expectation.

Deciding to stop having sex from your spouse for years is basically walking out on being married.

You can argue about whether divorce or adultery is better. People will say that adultery is deceitful, but it doesn't have to be - you could tell your spouse outright that you're going to have sex with other people if they don't start participating.

Traditionally, both divorce and adultery were considered unacceptable, but so was denying sex. Its a modern & western view that denying sex and divorce are both fine. Typical modern view of marriage, everyone puts in what they feel like, and no more, and if the other person doesn't like it, they should leave.

Answer 6

The answer is in your own vows to "love, comfort, honor, and keep",in "sickness, health, rich, poor, better, worse, sadness, joy" and "cherish, continually bestow devotion upon, forsaking all others" and "as long as you both shall live".

No one forced you to take the big step towards committment. And now it's a question of what is fair to you and your appendages? What about your partner What has she sacrificed for the sake of marriage; is that fair?

Marriage is a bigger committment than buying a house or raising children. The eggs will leave the nest, but will you still be there as you promised (from loving her to continually bestowing devotion upon her) before taking back "forsaking all others" and "as long as you both shall live"?

Have you been doing all you have vowed, not just putting sex on a pedestal or as an ultimatum, or a threat? Also if the partner is refusing you sex, is it okay for them to go elsewhere because they think you are disgusting in bed?

Answer 7

The sex is just a part of the whole. In order for there to be a good sex life the rest of the marriage needs to be tended to first. It is difficult to pretend that the job, the money , the kids, house repairs, car problems and everything else do not exist once the bedroom door closes. When everything else is good the sex will be as well.

Answer 8

I in no way had any expectancies of marriage different than i assume honesty, faithfulness and to not bodily abuse me. i'm an trouble-free guy or woman and have self assurance in case you bypass into issues (that comprise yet another persons life) with distinctive expectancies you will continually be enable down.

Answer 9

You mean, never intimate...?.....or just not as often as you would like? Looking for sex outside of your marriage is never acceptable. You and your partner need to get to the bottom of this...and fast. Intimacy is very important to any marriage.

Answer 10

Newly married men burn their wives out with sex, early in the marriage. Instead of pacing themselves and making love to their wives at reasonable times, these guys expect sex 24/7 and plow into the woman's body at every opportunity. No woman wants to be treated like this. If you want a healthy sex life with your wife, treat her like she's a human being, not a sex machine.