i dont know if i am being selfish or not, last week i asked for your help and you guys really helped. My sister in law just got seperated from her husband and now is living with us with her three kids, there is no space in our house, everything in my life is falling apart but i cant say anything to anyone, on your advice i had a heart to herat chat with my hubby and asked him if we can move out of the house and live on our own. He said its not that simple, his mother and sis are concerned that everyone will blame them for it, but the thing is if we live together and cant b happy then who is at the losing end here, icant eat or sleep or cook or cant be happy even by my own free will, i feel so stuck and suffocated in the house. i hate it every second of the day. its like i have made up my mind to move out of the house but since i cant i am depressed and stressed out most of time, i am on relaxants now,what should i do , how should i adjust or talk again to someone... help!
2007-04-23 03:06:21 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok...so his Mom & sis have moved in with you? His concern is that they are worried what people will think of them? If they moved in with you...I'd suggest that they get an apartment and your husband can help them get set up there. Do they have an expected date when they will NOT be living with you? If not...tell your husband that he needs to be more concerned about your relationship than he is about what people will think. Ask him to talk with his Mom & Sis to come up with a plan that will work for everyone. Good luck :)
2007-04-23 03:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by luvofrosalitas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused, whose house is this? Yours, or your mother in laws?
If it's your mom in laws, there's a very easy solution here, you move out. Your husband should support this, assuming you're financially able to, and if you're not financially able to, you shouldn't be married. Why is he more worried about his mother and sister's feelings if you guys move out on your own than your feelings of feeling suffocated and depressed? He's wrong, it IS that simple, that's a HUGE red flag there. Your husband SHOULD back you up 100% in this one, and be so much more concerned about your welfare than the welfare of his mother and sister. He should not do anything that benefits them at your expense. I'm not saying you never sacrifice to help family...but there's a limit, and he's clearly crossed it. You guys may need marriage counseling so that he can understand this issue in marriage, or your marriage may not last much longer.
If this is YOUR home, then this is also easy, tell your husband either they go, or you go. It's that simple. Again, his first thoughts should be for your well being, not the well being of his mother and sister.
I would also reccommend you seek some treatment for the depression. Relaxants are a depressant, so they are not helping ANYTHING here, they are probably making matters worse for you in your head. Go see your doctor, and see if you need treatment for depression. If so, that will help you do the other things you need to do to feel better and be healthy.
Best of luck to you.
2007-04-23 10:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs a time limit on their stay and then you will be able to relax a little when you can see the light at the end of the tunnel... Helping family is a good thing but they should be making their intrusion as less interfering as possible.
2007-04-23 10:13:14 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not being selfish at all. Your husband's relatives are taking advantage of you. Your husband needs to stop this behavior, but he's obviously too weak to do so. It doesn't matter who gets blamed: you have the right to privacy with your husband and either he's going to move out of the house with you, or he's going to tell them to leave. If he's not man enough to do one or the other, you're better off with out him. Stop waiting for him to stand up for you and stand up for yourself!
2007-04-23 11:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
stand up for urself and tell them ur not coping in a nice way and help them move
2007-04-23 10:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by cleo_alter_ego 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋