Should I be mad?

Question

This morning, my wife informed me that she loaned a friend of hers $300.00 and didn't even ask me? Not only did she do it without even consulting me...it was my money she gave the woman? Should I be pissed, or let it go?

Answer 1

Well that would all depend on the agreement the two of you had regarding financial matters. If the two of you agreed to let the other know when withdrawals were being made, then yes you should be mad because it violated a trust issue. You should wait until you are fully calmed down before approaching her about this issue because a lot of hurtful things can be said that you can't take back no matter how sorry you say you are.
Sit her down when the two of you are alone, not tired, and not in a rush and really tell her how you feel.

Answer 2

Dear bigdad,

You have every right to be upset. Your wife needs to learn RESPECT. Simple way to fix the problem, open your own checking account and start putting your money in that account. When she asks you weres the money, you tell her that you thought that it would be in the best interest if you mind the money from now on due to her poor investments. Lending money to friends is a big no no. If your wife does not know that by now she needs to go back to school. Lend money to friends, loose a friend. That is the saying. You may never get that money back and how irresponsible of her not asking you first. I guess she does not RESPECT you enough to ask. I am sorry that you are in that type of relationship and granted, I don't know what charecter your wife has, she might be a wonderful woman and good hearted but still come on, she should have asked and discussed it with you. Just teach her a small leason by taking all the money out and putting it in a seperate account even if it is for just one month and see how she feels. I think she will either learn a leason or get worse. She has to live up to her mistake.

You have the right to be upset but don't get violent, just teach her a leason.

Good luck and remember, your wife needs to learn that if you want to keep a friend, don't lend them money. Money is the cause of marriages breaking up, relationships going south, and loosing a friend. When your friend can't pay what happens? They disapear.

Answer 3

If your wife is a responsible person, she should be able to loan a trusted friend a few dollars without asking you first. She did inform you about the loan, so what's the problem? Is she a prisoner, or the person you love and have faith in? Be a wise and loving husband, and let this one go.

Answer 4

Yes, you have the right to be a LITTLE angry. There may be circumstances as to why she loaned money to this friend, they may be personal, and maybe the friend asked her not to tell anyone. BUT, in finances, hubby and wife should be upfront with each other. She could have told you she was going to loan to a friend, and that she couldn't disclose the circumstances to you, but felt she really needed to help this friend.
Otherwise, if she just did it so the friend could go shopping or on a trip or something, you should discuss this with her as being a bad decision. And that you would appreciate better judgment in the future.

Answer 5

YES!YES!YES!
This should not have happened!
Your wife feels comfortable lending other people your money!
Its not moral or acceptable! I would question you relationship with your wife 1st of all and then start seriously thinking of ways in which get your money back.
when entering a marriage its best to arrange terms with your partner 1st. that's what I'm going to do, otherwise your placing yourself in such a circumstance. arrange and foresee every defeat a marriage can go through and plan ahead methods e.g like separate bank accounts, to avoid such a matter.
your wife has no understanding whashe has done and is wrong. explaining this to her needs doing. evaluate every point you need to make her by carefully revising everything you are going to say. give reasons that she is able to identify with as setting your principles straight with her. write a draft and go over it with a friend . i would get a lawyer or some legal advice straight away and get the money back if possible. remember if she knows your serious and that she could have broken the law she will think more seriously about paying you back the money.

Answer 6

You certainly have the right to be upset. Not because it was your money (should that have been our money, you are married after all), but because you were not consulted.
If it was an emergency and she could not get ahold of you, well that is a little different.
I would let her know that you are hurt she did not consult you, and would appreciate a heads up in future. Then I would let it go, whether you see the money again or not.

Answer 7

Whoa what do you mean by the statement "It was my money"?

But that statement aside, I feel that a husband and wife should communicate about finances and that neither should spend or in your case loan money for purchases considered High Dollar without discussing with the other.

What is the definition of high dollar? That totally depends on the couple and their finiancial situation.

Some may be on a tight enough budget that spending over $ 50 dollars would be a big deal. Others could probably spend $500 before it would be considered a high dollar purchase.

Answer 8

Each of you needs an amount of money that you can spend/give away/stuff under the mattress/do whatever you want with, and not have to account to the other one for. You need to determine what that amount is, and that's completely dependant on your financial situation. For some couples, it can be $10, for others it can be $200 or more.

And if she's your wife, it's not YOUR money, it's OUR money. Finances are one of the biggest things couples fight over, so you need to get a handle on this. Like everything else in marriage, communication is key. Sit down, and have a rational, calm discussion about money. Set financial goals for yourselves, and look at your current financial situation. Do you want to buy a home, but are loaded up with student loan or credit card debt? Do you have children and want to save money for their college educations? Only you can decide what's important to you. Best of luck!

Answer 9

I think you have a right to be mad about that!! She should have told you first. Loaning money (especially, $300.00) should be discussed with your spouse beforehand.

Now if it was her money coming from her paycheck and into her account, that may be a bit more understandable.

But if you count on her paycheck to help with the bills, you should definitely say something to her about it.

Answer 10

Personally I would not be happy. You should tell her for now on you would like to be informed if large amounts of cash are being taken out of the account.
Good thing it was only $300. But that still is a lot of money.