im at wrong but cannot control it :(?

Question

im a married woman with kids, but most of the times im at home alone. I met someone online and now im very much attracted and addicted to him.I know this is a futile relationship but still i cannot control myself from chatting with him,and the more we chat the more attracted we get to each other. How do i get over this chat addiction ? I try to keep myself occupied ,but then this urge to chat with him takes over .I tried deleting my hotmail account too .How to control this urge to NOT to chat? Pls help!

Answer 1

The answer is simple. Your "attraction" and "addiction" are both feelings you are going to get because you feel your life is boring.

Yes, being home alone all day gives you the opportunity to do whatever you want, and with many hours of nothing, you are going to be tempted to chat.

The only way to change this behavior is simple. Do not turn your computer on in the first place. Take the time you normally spend chatting and do something that is actually productive. The way I look at it, if you are having conversations with someone else that you would or would not have with your husband, it constitutes cheating, especially if the conversations have turned to ones of sexual nature.

Put yourself in your husband's shoes. If he was secretly chating with another woman, would you not fel betrayed and very letdown once you found out? What would his reaction be? Would his reaction be warranted?

"Do unto others...", you know? If you would not want this happening to you, don't do it to someone else. If you REALLY want to change your behavior, you need to change your daily routine.

It is insane to do the same exact thing everyday expect a different outcome. Find something to do outside of the house to occupy your time. Make it a point to leave th house and not return until your kids get home from school, if you have to .

i fear, if you continue your current course, your husband will find out, and your world will just get a bit tougher.

Good luck

Answer 2

Well think of it this way - just stop it, grow up and deal with your issues. How would you feel if your husband was doing this and you found out? Don't play with fire. This is no different than if you were face to face flirting with someone. Chatting is addictive, but there are more things you can do that chatting on line with someone you have never met. Be careful, you are in danger of losing the life you have now eventually for something you are not sure will work in the real world. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Find a girlfriend to chat with. Turn off your computer. Don't answer his emails, just delete them. Block his email address. Get out of the house and do some volunteer work. Get a part time job. Go to school. Take a class in some sort of crafts and/or hobbies. Put a rubber band on your wrist, and every time you see an email from this guy, snap the rubber band, which will hurt a bit and remind you, just how wrong this is, on so many levels.

Answer 4

You need to think of it this way, how would you feel if your husband was doing some chatting with another female behind your back? You chatting with this man isn’t something that you should be doing and you know this. Instead of chatting with this man clean your house, do some yard work, make dinner for your family. Even better get a job outside of your home so that way you don’t have be so consumed with talking with this man. Not only are you cheating on your husband, you’re cheating on your children. If your husband finds out about what you’re doing he may leave and take your children with him. Even if doesn’t take the children you’ve torn your family apart for a man that you just barely know. Have you seen this man in person, how do you know it’s really a man. How do you know what he looks like and if he’s really the loving caring person that he claims to be on line. Better yet how do you know he doesn’t have a criminal record. He could be a rapist, a killer, a cross dresser. Thank of your children instead of yourself.

Answer 5

Hi, firstly my advice would be make sure you don't give out any personal details like your address or your phone number, sorry but it's better to be safe than sorry, you never know what sort of people you can meet of them sights, maybe you should do a little bit of research on actually what has happened to women from meeting men over the internet, and don't forget about your children, you should do everything in your power to keep your kids safe, and you are betraying your husban by talking to this person, Do the research that should help your urges and think about the safety of your children, sorry I am just a bit sceptical about them sights.

Answer 6

From the looks of it, you don't sound like you're trying hard enough to stay away from chatting him up, so who are you trying to kid? Secondly, instead of thinking about chatting, why don't you divert that energy instead on finding other activities or hobbies you can engage in. This is what happens if you have too much time on your hands.

Answer 7

Hey, I hear ya. We all seem to reach that lull in our marriages and need that extra thrill. You need to occupy yourself with something else than this man, it will only lead to problems down the road. TRUST ME. If you have that much time on your hands then maybe some volunteer work might be fulfilling for you. E-mail me if you`d like some ideas.

Answer 8

Stop! get off the webb.this will destroy your marrage. take it from me ,my wife did the samething and it got out of hand and turned intosomething entirely diffrent than just chatting.it ruined a relationship of more than 16 years and other relationships.just get rid of the computer if necesary but your husband and kids deserve better.

Answer 9

delete him from any contact lists on your computer! stay away and don't mess with your family's relationship...im sure you love your husband still...or you wouldnt be with him?! just stop all contact frim this man and tell him straight forward..."you know you a really nice guy and all but im hapily married and have a loving family...im very sorry i didnt tell you earlier." and leave it at that...he will understand.

Answer 10

OK, sorry, but the first reply scares me - I think a gyno should be able to spell "hormonal" correctly... Anyway, ask your doctor (who is GIVING YOU THE SCRIPT FOR THE BIRTH CONTROL) why you are seeing such irregularities without them.