i made a babysitting flyer, what should i add or change?

Question

Need a Babysitter
Call.
• She is a responsible, loyal clean, and will listen to you the parent wants for the child
• Twelve years old
• Has taken and passed the babysitting course on babysitting.com (certificate available on request).
• Has learned the Heimlich and CPR, (on children and infants)
• Can take care of children and infants
• Has two older siblings who have shown her how to baby-sit
• LOVES KIDS
• Knows how to keep your child interested
• Price is negotiate able
• Is an excellent cook who can make your child healthy meals
• Know first aid and common forms of hazards.

You can contact me at
Home:
Cell:
Email:

Answer 1

Drop the 'Price is negotiable'... you are almost perfect for the position you seek, demand a fair wage and DO NOT reduce your rates, people looking for 'bargains' when choosing someone to be responsible for the well being of their own children are NOT people you want to work for! Go for it!! Good Luck!

OH... Knows first aid, put an 's' in there darling ...

Answer 2

Here are a few changes:

-Always begin each bullet point with an action word like "knows", "possesses", etc. (Take out the "she" because you are not telling a story)
-"Negotiate able" should be "Negotiable"
-Need a Babysitter. (Change the period to a Question mark)
-Fix the 2nd bullet point where you talk about being responsible (you're missing a comma, and I think a word is missing)
-Delete "Can take care of children and infants" (Because you are offering care services, this is understood)
-Add something about references (have at least 3 available from family members and previous babysitting clients)

Hope this helps!

Heather http://www.print-ovations.com

Answer 3

Very Good! I have just a couple of small suggestions. First, a spelling issue: "negotiable" (regarding price). "Reasonable prices" may be an even better choice here.

Second, do you have any references you can list? People you have already worked for?

Lastly, rather than "she", say "I". This flyer is about YOU, not someone else.

Best wishes and good luck.

P.S. When customers ask you how much you charge, always answer with this question: "how much are you willing to pay me?". They almost always will offer to pay you MORE than you would have asked for!

Answer 4

Sounds good. Correct the spelling errors. I would leave your age off and tell those who contact you as there are creeps out there and you give them 3 ways to contact you! It makes you less of a possible target. Good Luck.

Answer 5

don't make them to flashy they don't take you to seriously and if you can ask the ones you already work for to tell there friends that usually helps

Answer 6

sounds good 2 me

Answer 7

sentences to long you need to summarise it

add
-clean environment
-ensure safety
-supervised play

Answer 8

sounds good ,is this for Friday and Saturdays only.