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my husband and I have three kids together but he has two of his previous marriage and I have one, so all together we have six. Every time there's a discussion is cause of his six yr. old one and I can't take this anymore. I feel like leaving him, but then I think of the other little ones and I can't. too cause I don't have any kind of support from anyone and I find this hard, I like to get an advice in what to do whith this relationship because the problem of all this is that when I discipline his son and tell him he actually takes it as the kid is the victim. Then the kid so acts like it, he's very smart and like to turn the facts around (lier) and is something I hate, I don't hate the kid but the way his dad treats him.. He got a detention on Thursday and so I told him that he was grounded and could'nt whatch t.v, then yesterday Friday I finally told his dad and so his dad ask him, he told him after a long time of questioning him and after an hour, he was watching t.v with him.

2007-04-21 12:21:06 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

8 answers

Blended families in itself is hard, but to have one who the Father thinks does no wrong is like adding fuel to the fire. This child is learning by his Father he can do almost anything and get by with it. That is sad as so many children have problems and need a upbringing where both parents are in agreement. I wonder why the Father does this? Guilt maybe or due to it being a blended family, it not only hurts the child in the long run, but makes your job even harder. 6 children is a handful to deal with, and your husband needs to understand all of them need to be discipline. You and he need to sit down with the whole family and set some rules and guidelines. If for some reason your husband still chooses to be this way by him, I would stand my ground and make sure the punishment was carried out. It sounds like you care very much for the child's welfare and your husband should be happy for this. The child seems to have learned to lie very good, and this will be a problem later in life. Maybe a heart to heart talk with husband when both are not stressed may help. I wish you a lot of luck. Been there and done it with step children.

2007-04-21 12:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0 0

Step kids are always a touchy subject and you and your husband need to sit down and have some rules and consequences for ALL the kids equally. You both need to agree to stand firm on the punishments so that all of the kids know that they can not now and will not in the future be able to pit one parent against the other.

Let your husband be the primary disciplinarian for this child in particular. Be sure, however, that you and your husband have agreed in advance on the consequences of actions so that there is not a question to whether or not something will happen in a given situation.

It also sounds like this 6 year old is trying to break up a marriage so that "mom & dad" can get back together. Your husband needs to have a heart to heart talk with him and let him know that you two are married and will remain so. He also needs to let this boy know that no matter what he is to show respect to adults and that lying is never acceptable.

If there are situations where there is a discussion between you and this child record it so that there is documented proof of his lies and dad can see that there needs to be some intervention.

Even with our own biological children there are times where we love them but do not like them very much right then. This is the same with our step-kids.

As the mother of a step-daughter with a manipulative biological mother I have lived through the lies of a child that you love and care for on a daily basis (she lives with us). I just continue to let her know that I love her but do not like her actions or words right then and move on. I will never be able to change the actions of her mom but I can be the most supportive and loving step-mom that she will allow me to be to her.

2007-04-21 19:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You might need family counseling. If you find it hard to discipline the child let the dad do it. Tell his dad everything, but do not let him disrespect you. If any problems acquire turn it over to dad and the real truth will reveal itself when that child ends up in jail. Find away to find peace within yourself and pray with the boy and family about this. Pray for yourself all the time. The Lord will help you.

2007-04-21 19:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

He's six. Please get intervention, because he needs someone who will understand him and be a real parent.
By the way, why would you ground him if he (at six, no less) already was disciplined at school with the detention? I am sure you are a nice person, but he really needs someone in his life that will love, guide and understand him. And remember, HE'S SIX!!!! (With obviously a lot of instability in his life.) Please understand what he's going through. I know you will all do great. (I'll be praying for you.)

2007-04-21 19:31:22 · answer #4 · answered by Julie S 3 · 0 0

Vanessa,

I know you think this little boy i, as you have said, a liar, but you just have to realize...he is only six years old!! He probably knows how you feel about him and thi is such a shame.

If you cannot learn to love and accept this child, you should just move on. Sad story.

2007-04-21 19:54:59 · answer #5 · answered by Eve 4 · 1 0

I'm sorry, but these types of aftermarket relationships are very bad.

What happed to both of your original marriages and the vows that you took to remain together with your previous partners for better or for worse, in sickness and in health until death were you supposed to part?

Why are cases like yours always the story today? What a mess, if you ask me.

2007-04-21 19:25:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 2

You need to watch " The Brady Bunch "

2007-04-21 19:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by dad 6 · 0 0

but how is he with the other children? does he not do that with them all.

2007-04-21 19:26:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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