My spouse of eight years out of the blue wants space. Our relationship I thought was going great, apparently I was wrong. We have children together and everything. She wants me out to give her space. Well, that part I understand. I don't however understand why she seems like this is nothing. She's happy and of course I'm not because I'm still in love w/ her. How can she be happy about this? She doesn't go out much so I don't know about an affair. Nothing led up to the seperation, and believe me I've looked. So what the hell is going on? We still sleep together but no touching. Yeah, it's horrible. She works of course and so do I. Can it be pressure from life or can she really fall out of love with me in a single day? She says she loves me but is not sure about being in love w/ me. She wants to figure it out. That's fine. But, how can she be so happy about it ? It's like it does not bother her.
2007-04-21 12:00:10 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she may not be cheating but her heart no longer belongs to you, let her work things out in her own mind and see what happens
2007-04-21 12:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by kat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably didn't fall out of love with you in a single day. This kind of drastic change took time to build and it will take more time, patience, love and understanding to break down this barrier. It is a good sign that she wants to "figure it out", but maybe do it with some professional guidance and/or a spiritual advisor.
Perhaps her issues have absolutely nothing to do with you(although they may be affecting you).
And although she seems truly happy, she's probably dying inside....perhaps important signs were missed over the day-to-day droll.
Ultimately you have two options: 1) stick with it and be patient and seek the help that you both need or 2) simply give up and allow the separation to become permanent---affecting not only your relationship with her, but also the trust factor with your beloved children.
Remember that we always hurt the most those whom we love the most....but we have the power to turn issues around. Don't give up!!! It will be hard work and potentially painful for both of you, but the rewards are too great.
2007-04-21 13:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by jileanne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her what she wants. Maybe if you are as flippant as she seems to be, then maybe she will think twice about how much space she really needs. Maybe if you move out, it will give her time to miss you. Maybe without you there she will re-evaluate her life and realise that she trully is in love with you. If you want answers all the time, then all you are doing is putting pressure on her. Maybe she hasnt got the answers. Maybe she is just very confused. Just because she wants her space doesnt mean there is another man involved.....although that could be a reason too. Whatever is making her feel this way, the fact remains, she needs her space. If you dont give it to her then she will probably end up resenting you for it. If that happens, she will want more than her space....she will want a divorce.
As hard as it is going to be, youve got to give her space and even if there is another man involved, wouldnt it be better to find out now? You wouldnt be feeling too good about yourself right now, but believe me, the truth is always best....at least that way you know where you stand. I guess the only way you are really going to get answers is to give her the space she is asking for. If there is another man involved, then surely you wouldnt want to come second, would you?
I hope it works out the way you want it to.
2007-04-21 12:58:36 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not necessarily be happy about it, but she does seem confused about the whole thing (the way you explained it, anyway). You can't tell for sure just by examining your relationship if she's having an affair or not. The best way to deal with this sort of situation is talk to her. Not in any way to start an argument, but just talk to her. Ask why she wants space all of a sudden, and if there's anything else you should know about in her life. Don't pressure her for answers to the questions because it can feel very pushy.
If it turns out she just needs to figure things out with your relationship, then I guess that's what needs to happen. And you'll just have to wait until she does figure things out and make her decision about your relationship.
2007-04-21 12:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough. Im really sorry. It sounds like she might be cheating but then at the same time it might be her just needing space. Just by the way you say it it seems like maybe she is thinking if she is in love with you or not. Maybe she is thinking about whether or not she wants to be with you. At least she brought it up now and let you know before hand what is going on in her head before just all of a sudden walking out on you. I am really sorry and I hope everything works out for you.
2007-04-21 12:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by Lexi's mommy had twins! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it does bother her thats why she needs to figure this out before she hurts anymore and yes it is hard to understand how after so many yrs ...somebody can fall out of love ..but it happens and it hurts like hell maybe shes just going through a stage right now and then everything will be okay but i think in her saying she needs space and time was at least honest instead of making you think its all you do you understand what im trying to say
2007-04-21 13:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by midget/pita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doesn't sound like cheating. It sounds like a midlife crisis. She said it herself. She needs space. This doesn't necessarily mean she wants you in her life. Give it time. Incidentally, she should be the one to move out if she's unhappy. Sounds like you've done nothing wrong and if she needs the space she should go for it.
2007-04-21 12:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were woman we change our lives in minutes but yes we do fall out of love just like a guy does doubt it was in a day she thought it for days weeks months but just had to finally let it out shes happy cause she don't feel the pressure let her alone to figure out what she wants pushing her to talk etc. will only push her farther away
2007-04-21 12:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when a woman decides that she wants out of a relationship...it has been building for a long time......
this wasn't just some quick decision she made....
there might be someone else.
you will need to speak to someone about this...as you said you are still in love with her.....
take care.
2007-04-21 12:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by manhattanmaryanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah, she has another guy on the side!
you're Out!
get a lawyer
2007-04-21 12:04:05 · answer #10 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋