If you found out your husband or wife was cheating, hurting the kids, robbing banks, or something like that, and you felt you should divorce them, would you still love them even though you wouldn't want to be with them? Or would you hate them and pretend you never knew them?
2007-04-21 11:57:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I still loved my ex years after I divorced him. I dont think you have much control over how you feel. What you do have control over is the way you act. If someone has done something that you find repulsive or immoral and you find you cant accept what they did, it doesnt automatically take away the feelings of love you have for them. Falling out of love takes time. Its the time you need that will make the love feelings disappear. When you love someone, but find what they did was unforgiveable, it takes a lot of strength of character to "stick to your guns" and not go back. Loving someone and keeping yourself away from them takes a lot of strength. You have to keep yourself busy. You have to find things to occupy your mind. You have to do things to make yourself grow as a person.....sometimes you even have to get out of your comfort zone and do things you never thought were possible. It takes almighty strength to move on from someone you love. The amazing thing in all of this is that, eventually you do really move on. Time, is the only healer. Time is the only thing that will make you fall out of love with someone.
Take care.
2007-04-21 12:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I divorced my 1st husband because he was cheating with and left with our babysitter.. At first I felt alot of anger and hate but over a few months that subsided... I know now it was for the best, I deserve a man who loves me and wants to be with only me (enter 3rd husband the love of my life)
I do love my 1st husband but I am not in love with him... We have 2 wonderful children together and with out him they wouldn't be here and be who they are.. So there is a small place in my heart for him of only for that...
I divorced my 2nd husband after he hit my then 5 yr old son knocking him into a wall.. We were married a total of 364 days when the divorce was final.. According to my son it was the first time he was hit and I made sure it was the last.. I have no feelings for my 2nd husband, I have seen him a few times since the divorce and pretend he doesn't exist..
A lot of the feelings divorced people have for each other depend on the circumstances of thier divorce and whether or not they have children together... Feeling can also be effected by how bitter and embattled the divorce was..
2007-04-21 12:07:29 · answer #2 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if u love a person, u love a person regardless of what they do. If u divorce them u don't forget them qiock because it's not easy to let go. I would feel very dissapointed and betrayed but it doesn't mean I'd stop loving them, it takes a while. Pretending nothing happened and u never ,met them only hurts more because in reality u were married to them.
2007-04-21 12:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by grissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truely, it would depend on what they did. If the hurt was directed towards children, I wouldn't be with him anymore - he wouldn't be the person I fell in love with.
If he went to prison for some thing non-violent, I would stay by his side and as his wife. If he were violent, again he wouldn't be the man I married, especially if it was directed toward the family.
Cheating - it would depend on how, with whom and why. I know this for a fact as I have been there.
And unless he hurt a child, or my children, if we were no longer together I wouldn't stop him staying in touch with the kids.
But would I ever stop loving him? I don't think I ever could.
2007-04-21 12:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Three marriages
*problem is I never was IN LOVE.
Now at 38 I truly believe that Both partners need unconditional love for each other in order to stay in a relationship.
LOVE has so so many different meanings as well. I love my exes, we had children,,,the first two marriages....but I was never in love with them.
And for the record, two out of three of my husbands cheated on me.
My third ex and I have not spoken in a long time....I wonder if he is ok,,,,,but I do not miss any of those guys!!!
2007-04-21 12:02:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe we all human beings are full of emotions, even though you have decided to divorce a person because he or she is cheating on you, the feelings wont change. We easily say to move on, but in a relationship such as marriage with having kids its not easy not to love a person whom you are going to divorce.
2007-04-21 12:01:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that if my husband was doing something illegal or immoral and I divorced him I would still love him for being the father of my children not for the husband that he showed he was not.
If he hurt my children I would look at him as any other abuser or pedophile and want him prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!
2007-04-21 12:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
A part of me will always love my first husband, although I don't want to live with him. I am so grateful for him giving me my daughter, and of course remember all the tender feelings we had before he started being too difficult to live with.
I don't "hate" anyone.
2007-04-21 11:59:53 · answer #8 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would love my husband no matter what. The only reason I would ever leave him would be if he was unfaithful to me. Even then, it would hurt to leave because the feelings for him remain the same.
2007-04-21 12:00:42 · answer #9 · answered by SquirrelBait 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I think that you can, but I do not. I don't hate him either. I am indifferent and hurt about certain situations (like some that you mentioned), but everything was amicable and I have moved on from the "beating the dead horse" scenario.
2007-04-21 12:00:28 · answer #10 · answered by LadeeBug Buddha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋