Due next month, I live with my fiance and mother so its not that I will be alone and looking for help when I realize I need it. This is my first child. I know many people love to come see new babies. Is it ok to not want this right away and how does one politely say this? I know some people will find it offensive unfortunately. My friend just was bombarded by visitors and her newborn got pretty sick. Should I just let them come and get it over with?
2007-04-21 10:39:37 · 17 answers · asked by charli_red1218 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
to user darkblackpu**y- get a dam freakin life and stop being hateful of other peoples all your answers are negative..for what? this is yahoo answers people ask questions for sensible answers if you dont have one go pee in a bottle. Thank you!
2007-04-21 10:54:58 · update #1
Its definitely ok. I remember when I had my first baby, I was very overwhelmed, struggling with breastfeeding, and the last thing I wanted was a million visitors pawing my baby and watch me flashing my boob every time I tried to breastfeed, lol. Fortuneately, most people that called gave me an out and said "when you feel up to visitors, let me know". For the ones that didn't, I simply explained I was overwhelmed and I'd call when I was up to a visit. Anyone that is offended or doesn't understand that is not worth knowing. Noone gave me a hard time about it. When I finally did let people visit, I didn't encourage them to hold the baby - usually teh baby is sleeping, and I'd just say "oh, I don't want to disturb him while he's sleeping". If anyone insisted on holding him, they had to SCRUB their hands first.
Good luck!!
2007-04-21 12:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the needs of the new baby and the needs of the new mother should be more significant than the wants of other random people. A baby's immune system does need some time to strengthen before being exposed to new germs, and as the new mother you will have recently experienced a lot of pain and stress of labor. Just tell people flat out that you and your new baby will be receiving visitors a week or two weeks or however long you need after the day that you come home, or perhaps limit the first few days after arriving home to only visitors who are in the family. Be polite, but be firm, and just tell them you're not up to having visitors for however long it takes.
2007-04-21 17:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cherry 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No please do not let them come and get it over with. It is not only ok to NOT want visitors, but it is being a responsible mother. Just tell people that you will invite them ( use the word INVITE so they dont drop in) to see the baby but it will not be for a month or so so you hope they understand and will not be offended. Take this time for you and your fiance to bond with the baby and the new routines. You will be tired from being up at night. Turn the phone message machine on and do not answer it ( ringer off) or the doorbell. You have to be tough but it is worth it since some people will not respect your privacy. And remember those who find it offensive do not really care about you.
2007-04-21 19:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly normal for the first month or so not to want to
have a lot of visitors. Just tell your friends or acquaintances
that you are tired and the baby is napping or some plausible
excuse. The baby didn't sleep good and is napping finally
maybe next time you can see the baby or I'll bring the baby
around the next time we get out. It might be little white lies
but it will keep the baby safer from getting sick. Also
keep lots of germ-x or purell on hand. If they insist on
seeing the baby make them use hand sanitizer before
touching the baby.
2007-04-21 17:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by chmar11 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is okay to not want visitors. This is your time to band with your new baby and too mant people around will just make that hard on you. Just ask that they call and see if it is a good time to come see the new baby. Most people will just want to come over at their convenience, and dont bother to tihnk that maybe you're feeding the baby or that you guys are napping because the baby keeps you up during the night. If they are good friends and family they will undrestand that you need your time with the baby and that you need to establish some kind of routine before people just come over whenever they feel like it.
2007-04-21 19:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is perfectly ok not to want visitors.The doctor normally says that the baby shouldn't be around a lot of people for the first two weeks.Being it is your first child its normal to feel that way.I know alot of people who won't let others even hold the baby.I felt that way with both my kids.I let everyone come and see them.It was exausting because in the beginning you want to bond with your baby and rest.Being caught between trying to entertain people make it hard.MY son winded getting a fever when he was only two weeks old because i exposed him to my company.I think its great though when people come to the hospital.YOU can choose to keep your baby in the nursery when people come.THey can see the baby through the window.Even though you may actually want company when you get home.Truth is you will know when that time comes.Considering you are thinking of this now maybe you can suggest to everyone to call you and that you will let them know when its a good time to come over.
2007-04-21 17:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by maria 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to worry about offending people, you're going to have a LOT of worries as a new mom. I suggest that you stop worrying what other people say and what offends them, before you give yourself a stomach ulcer.
When I got home from the hospital I just told people point blank-I'm tired, I don't feel like seeing people, I don't want my son to get sick. Please feel free to send a card, and we'll let you know when we are ready to have people over.
You are the mom-you and your fiance are the final decision makers when it comes to your child. Everyone else is just extra. You can say it in a nice way, or blame it on your doctor if that makes it easier for you-but in the end do what you feel is right for your child regardless of what other people think/feel.
2007-04-21 18:41:10 · answer #7 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. Just tell friends and family your doctor recommended you don't take visitors for the first two weeks for the health of the baby. If anyone argues with you, just say "sorry, but I am going to listen to the doctor when it comes to the baby's health." Most people will understand.
2007-04-21 17:59:02 · answer #8 · answered by western b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want visitors that is up to you. You can tell people that in a week or so after the birth of your child, you will have a little gathering at the house so everyone can meet the baby.
2007-04-21 18:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Politely inform people that you will be accepting no visitors for the first (usually 7 days). Be firm and tell them beforehand.
This is quite common in other cultures.
You can also limit the number of people per day, it is up to you. Remember no matter what anyone says no one has the RIGHT to see your baby except you and the daddy.
2007-04-21 17:47:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋