She says its not an affair, but she spends the night at his place once a week, took a vacation to Mexico with him, and had him take our kids camping. She says she's doing this so I can work -since I don't make enough money to support our lifestyle. If I made more money, she wouldn't see him. I know this is not true, since I'm pretty sure my earnings are on the high end of the scale - still, some people make more. Our kids are confused (ages 9 and 10) and see OM as a sort of 'uncle.' I keep asking her to stop but she refuses. She also has an anger management problem and physically lashes out. I don't know what to do. What should I do? I don't think she'll agree to counseling.
2007-04-21 09:34:18 · 24 answers · asked by 'mazinworld 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She says its not an affair, but she spends the night at his place once a week, took a vacation to Mexico with him, and had him take our kids camping. She says she's doing this so I can work -since I don't make enough money to support our lifestyle. If I made more money, she wouldn't see him. I know this is not true, since I'm pretty sure my earnings are on the high end of the scale - still, some people make more. Our kids are confused (ages 9 and 10) and see OM as a sort of 'uncle.' I keep asking her to stop but she refuses. She also has an anger management problem and physically lashes out. I don't know what to do. What should I do? I don't think she'll agree to counseling.
update: She says she's not sleeping with him, even, so it's the mental part of it that bothers me. He's a gardener, and I have a professional job (all true)
2007-04-21 10:38:02 · update #1
Divorce her...before you catch AIDS!! She's a whore
2007-04-21 09:37:39 · answer #1 · answered by Bibi 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I don't understand your wife's thinking. Is it possible for your wife to work part time or full time. Everything is based on a two family income. If she has time to spend at his place then maybe she has time for a job. This current situation does not sound healthy for you or your kids. Obviously your wife knows you feel uncomfortable with this situation. If she really loved you, she would stop seeing this man. Having your wife seeing/dating another man while you are married is not fair to you. I can't believe you have tolerated this situation for so long. I would have a heart to heart with your wife and explain to her that you love her (if you still do). Tell her you want to fix things, make it right. If she doesn't see the light I would think about legally separating (seriously, be brave). - Good Luck. Remember you can't get respect if you don't respect yourself. You shouldn't have to live your life this way. - Happiness can be found somewhere else.
2007-04-21 17:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by worrisome96 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you really need is either a testicle implant, or a spinal implant, because you were born spineless, and have almost certainly had to pee sitting down. You don't have a marriage, you have a joke. Counseling can help a marriage, but, the farce you are in is way beyond help. Your marriage IS dead. Bury the poor thing. EDIT She says it isn't sexual. Golly gee, that makes it perfectly OK. Nope, no problem now. Everything is just wonderfu;. By the way, I've got this really nice bridge to sell you. It's in Brooklyn, and you can have it very cheaply. So, send me a check.
2007-04-21 17:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is with you for staying quiet all this time. A trip to Mexico with him? What is up with that. First of all if that is a reason that you work hard that means you deserve a vacation as well with your family and she should appreciate it and if she does the hell with her. She should stand by her man and feel with you. And don't go anywhere without you , only to the grocery store and the park and the doctors office. Take care of it and stand up to her like a man.
2007-04-21 16:41:45 · answer #4 · answered by momof3_angles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know that she's definitely having an affair. How do you feel about this? How long do you plan on putting up with her behavior just to have her in your life? How do your kids feel about the situation? Once they get a little older and catch on, how do you think they will react? Will they still have respect for you? I don't need answers to these questions but you do. Answer them truthfully. Love sucks it hurts but deep down you know what's best for you and your kids.
ps
stop letting her bully you!
2007-04-21 16:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by funny monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DIVORCE yes BUT!!!!! Get evidence of her wrongdoings. Lots of it. Photos, letters, emails, tape recordings, anything. YOU have to prove that she is a cheater. Trust me the man in this world will get SCREWED in a divorce. The judge will always give the kids to mom even if she is a retard. You will lose your house, your dog, your kids, and money for the rest of your life. You need to get your crap together and then bring down the house!!! She will deny everything and then the tears will come. Be a man and drive it home and call her out on the carpet...
one note... NEVER EVER fight in front of the children!!
Good luck
2007-04-21 17:50:44 · answer #6 · answered by Mark G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard but if she has been doing it this long she must have some kind of feelings for the man or it would be no problem not to......I would suggest getting a divorce and then maybe your kids wont be so confused...If you keep allowing her to do this then you are setting an example for your boys that they need to stick with a woman who will do this to them and that isnt fair to them.............It would be better for everyone in the long run........
2007-04-21 16:42:47 · answer #7 · answered by janet u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get her OUT of your life. She is the worst USER I have ever heard of!!!!
Take your kids & move away, or kick her sorry cheating azz out---you deserve a much better woman. Let her go to the OM, and sue for full custody in a divorce.
2007-04-21 17:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u actually let her see this other man?ur her husband,how do u even let this go on for 3 years?i mean,r u guys living 2-gether?u say she says she's doing this cuz u don't make enough money to support ur family?theres something wrong here,i don't even know how u can let ur wife sleep with this other man,worse make ur children think its their uncle.u said she's agree to counseling.she's not the only one that needs counseling,u need it too cuz sure sound freaky(letting another man sleep with ur wife).if she don't want to stop seeing him,then let him have her.if i was a man,i don't think i'll let something like this go on this long.don't want to sound mean but does she gets paid doing this?cuz u said she's doing this cuz ur not making enough money.so i take it she's bringing in some money from sleeping with this other man.u need help,tell urself that what she's doing is wrong, then go to counseling,not just for her but for u cuz it sounds like u don't think that what she's doing is wrong.3 years,what r u think?
2007-04-21 17:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by leen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she isn't dead yet leave her real quick like,what gos around comes around and her time will come if not now later,when that guy is finished with her he will throw her out as trash that she really is,nothing lower and dirty as cheating.I have no use for cheater because it doesn't have to happen that way,people can split first and then you know that each other will see other people.
2007-04-21 16:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the hell have you tolerated this for so long?????? Be a MAN an leave her f*ckin *ss. She is walking all over you and treating you like sh*t and your letting her get away with it. If you are worried about custody of the kids... I can't think of one judge that would give her custody once they found out the sh*t she has pulled. That is an un fit mother, who is selfish, and has her priorities f*cked up.
2007-04-21 16:41:50 · answer #11 · answered by sparkels74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋