Was this a cruel act?

Question

I'm in current need of a job and I live with my mom at the moment. As a push and motivation, she has given me a deadline to find a job or I would have to leave. Her and her sister finds me to be quite "picky" when it comes down to jobs. With the many future plans I have for college, student housing, and other bill related necessities, I wouldn't be able to settle at a low paying job. That's why I'm trying to find a job that would provide a sufficient income. So they see this as being "picky" Yesterday there was a job fair at a certain company that my aunt's room mate was hired on the spot at. Knowing that I needed a job, no one wanted to tell me about the job fair because of my "picky" attitude. Was this cruel or what??

Answer 1

Not cruel, in fact it is real love. It takes a lot of courage to tell your child that you adore that they need to spread their very capable wings and fly. It is empowering to win your own victories with all those talents and skills you possess.

You have to start somewhere and even if you have to put two or three lower paying jobs together that is what you need to do. Don't you realize your mom has to carry the weight of your full-grown life, as well as all her other obligations? How is that fair and how do you expect her to keep it up without sinking? She will just keep trying, giving, doing because she loves you and I'll bet you are putting her in a world of hurt because it gets harder and harder to get ends to meet.

There are single parents out there and young people who have made that decision to do what it takes to take care of living without leaning on anyone; it isn't easy, but when the victory is done, it is their precious victory that they accomplished!

You sound very bright, very strong, you need to put one foot in front of the other, swallow that foolish pride that is destroying your family's livelihood by supporting you and get a job! I don't care if its washing dishes or flipping burgers, those are honorable jobs and when you get that paycheck it will be yours! When you get settled and strong in your game plan, it wouldn't hurt you to start paying mom back some money, even if its a small portion, it will be a huge statement of appreciation and love to your mom.

Answer 2

You are being picky. If you have no job, and there is pressure to get a job, ANY job that provides income is an acceptable job. If you reject a job as being "insufficient" then you are trying to stack the deck and that is being picky. Call it what you like, it is.

No employer wants to see you've been without employment for long periods of time.

No interviewer wants to hear you make a request for a salary above your work experience ("because you need it") if they are hiring you for a starting position.

If you cannot accept a lower position or pay, then an employer won't hire you because you are a primadonna (read "picky").

Was not telling you about a job fair cruel? I don't know would you have gone there and sought every job for which you were qualified or only the jobs you thought you could get? Would you have had a strong resume ready and been pen to all positions offered, or would you play 'auctioneer' with the recruiters?

Because a recommendation reflects on the person who makes the recommendation, I'd say it wasn't cruel, but it was calculated. Perhaps you should look at your attitude and why somone wouldn't recommend you?

Answer 3

Without knowing all of details, this is a little tough. However, would you have been qualified for the jobs represented at this particular job fair? Perhaps it was a fair for a specific field where you have no experience. Was the job fair publicized? Perhaps they wanted to see how serious you were about finding a job and if you would have seen the notice in the paper?? Who knows.

Anyway, it is easier to find a job when you already have a job. Employers like it if you are already employed and have a job history instead of hiring someone where they will have a harder time checking references. It may suck for a while but take one of the low paying jobs and continue to look for another. Some income is better than none, right?

Post what you consider low income and sufficient income and maybe we can come up with suggestions on where to look for a job. Good luck.

Answer 4

I wouldn't define that as cruel, probably a little mean maybe but not really cruel. I know this won't get me any bonus points or anything but unless your rich at some point everyone has to work at a low paying job (especially when they're just starting out.) You said you have plans for college so that would indicate that your probably still on the young side (which I am too.) I don't mean to sound like a jerk so please take this as the way its intended (to be helpful and a reality check.) Unless you have some real marketable skills, educational credentials or real world experience in a field then odds are you need to start from the bottom and work your way up. Now thats not saying you have to go flipping burgers some place (although there's nothing wrong with people who want to do that) but your not going to be able to start off at some glitzy high paying job without having a college education or some real experience.

I hope that didn't sound mean because I didn't mean for it to be.

Answer 5

Not at all. Take what ever you can in the mean time until you find something that you feel is more suited, unless you wouldn't mind being homeless. You are going to change your mind a million times before you decide on a job, and then you might have to change it a million more times if the job doesn't chose you back. You mom isn't doing anything cruel or unusual, you can't have your hand held for the rest of your life. Be an adult and be responsible, learn now, cos you'll have trouble at any job if you don't learn those skills.

Answer 6

It is encouraging to note that your Mom wants you to be responsible and so she has given you a deadline to get a job because of your picky attitude. It is not a cruel act. Just start with a simple job like washing dishes at McDonald's and before you know it, a supervisor or customer might hire you to be his Chauffeur and you could gradually work your way into his company. Nothing good comes easy. Start today.

Answer 7

If you lived in my in-laws family you would find that typical. My husband's company was the largest employer in this area, and they closed their doors.
Of course it will be tough to find a job when 2000 people get laid off at the same time.
My in-laws got mad at him for not taking the first fast food job that opened up, despite the fact that they were ashamed of him when he was making 2 times what fast food workers make. When he finally got a job that actually paid more then he made before, they said "I didn't think you were ever going to go back to work!" Not congratulations for passing a test on the first try when most have to take it at least 3 times to pass it. No congrats for the more money, just more put downs.
You need to start reading the paper every day till you are able to find a job. The quicker you get away from people who treat you like that the better off you will be. You need to be around people who will encourage you, not people who try to sabotage you.

And as for "any job being good enough" while you can't expect an extremely high salary I would say that any job that stops you from getting your education isn't good enough.

Answer 8

If you are looking for a job as actively as you should be, you would have known about the job fair. So, perhaps your mother is right.

The only way you will find a job that meets your criteria is to make "finding a job" your full-time job. Send resumes, make calls, go on interviews, attend job fairs, look at postings on line - review and follow every possible lead until you land the job you want.

So get on it and quit worrying about the potential cruelty of others. No one in the workplace is going to take care of you, either.

Answer 9

I wouldn't say "cruel" so much as just plain stupid. If they want you to get a job it would be in their best interests to tell you about any opportunities rather than hide them from you because they think you will not accept it.

As for you, I would suggest not being so picky. Take a job but don't stop looking for something better. It used to be that employers looked suspiciously at people's resumes that listed lots of jobs. Not anymore. Most employers now understand and appreciate a person that looks for and opportunity. Just don't overdo it. There is a subtle difference between someone that's "in demand" and someone that's just a "flake."

Answer 10

It doesnt SEEM cruel, but I dont know fully your situation. Maybe they were at the point that they thought telling you about the fair was pointless because they see you as "picky?"
I wish you the best of luck, it is not easy. Where I live you would need two jobs, (part time and full time) to make a decent living.