suicide...my brother..what do we do?

Question

my brother tried to take his own life yesterday...he is going thorugh a bitter, bitter divorce. so..he walked in front of a heavy goods lorry and was hit at full speed and his body is shattered...his injuries are so bad...and i just wondered if anybody out there can tell me how to cope with it...

i dont drink alcohol..but tonight i have had some wine and everyone has gone from the house and i dont know what to do..and i know that somewhere out there are people on yahoo that have gone through what i am going through...how do you cope...what do i do now...my brother is such a lovely man, but a broken man and he is on a ventilator now and my heart is broken...thank you so much for listening

model... thank you for your answer. i promise - its not a joke...and i am a normal person i promise. its just that everyone has gone now...and i am just beside myself with grief. i dont know how people cope with suicidal things cos its never happened to me. i do thank you so much for answering though and for your prayers...xx

to jock.. the truck driver is fine..of course we were concerned about the shock to him.

i am so grateful for the nice people out there..you didnt have to mention your anger. my brother is a regualar guy..2 small children...now has bleeding kidneys, shattered pelvis, multiple fractures of both legs, bruised lungs, broken ankles and head injuries..but sometimes in life...you go into overload and can see leaving this earth as an way out.
i only asked my question because i know there might be people out there in my shoes...if you cant help - say nothing.

Answer 1

Hi Karen
It is really sad to hear what you are all going through. People don't realise when they are going through divorce that they will come out the other end and things will get better one day. They act out of desperation and he sounds like a really sensitive soul. I am sure he didnn't realise the terrible heartache and repurcussions of his actions.

He is alive. There is hope. I really really hope he pulls through for you. Life is so precious.

All you can do is to take things gently, be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. Bring your friends and family close and keep your life simple. We are all here. x x x

Answer 2

I am terribly sorry to hear this. A guy I grew up with went through the exact same thing and before the divorce was final he took his own life with a weapon. He didn't reach out to anyone to seek help. The best thing you can do for your brother is pray and you need to really get with someone and talk about what you are feeling and what you are going through just as your brother should have. Its hard for some men to admit they need help and what your brother did is sometimes the result because they don't know how to deal with it and feel like they can't go on. Prayer changes things and God can do anything but fail. Try to surround yourself with family and friends and just lift each other up and just be there for each other but you really need to include prayer in your life right now. Good luck with this and God bless and I pray that however things turn out God will grant you the serenity to deal with the things you can't change.

Answer 3

Sometimes, people encounter more problems than they can ever handle and the pressure is just too overwhelming and instead of reaching out to someone they take their own life or try to, as an answer to their problem. They never realize just ho much pain they cause to those closest to them by doing this. There is not much you can do for him except pray. Youre probably trying to blame yourself for some part of this, but his actions are not because of you or what you think you could have done differently if you only knew. People who comtemplate suicide never tell or give any indication that they are about to do something stupid til it happens. God never gave anyone of us the capability of handling every problem in life nor the means to solve every problem. Now hes in the hands of God and our medical science personal but prayers and your love can heal the impossible, but you must accept the fact that h may be beyond human capabilities and God may have other plans for him so pray that he doesnt suffer way too much from his injuries too. But just dont blame yourself as you had no idea he was going to do this and you couldnt have stopped it either. This will take time so be prepared to be in it for the long haul. We will all keep your brother in our prayers. Good luck

Answer 4

I have been in the same territory as your brother. I am presuming that he saw no way out and no positives and decided on that course of action.
I have never quite attempted it although earlier this year I was feeling as low as i have ever done.
I suggest that your brother goes for counselling at the earliest possible opportunity, but it has to be entirely his decision. Some things are easier to write than say, so maybe you should write to him expressing your thoughts, and expanding on this part of your question would be a very good place to start;

'my brother is such a lovely man'

I feel that you also need to treat him exactly as you did before. If you and your brother were the kind of people that were constantly cracking jokes at one another's expense (in a friendly way of course), then carry on. I wouldn't want the people close to me to skirt around the issue, those that I love most in the world are those that can be very blunt with me, and I wouldn't want them to change if I was in the same situation as your brother.
I hope this helps, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Answer 5

Hi i am a 50 year old male and have cried for help so many times with pills but remember once that i felt like running into the path of a lorry so i really feel for you and your brother.You can't do anymore than you are doing,i know this is something that your brother did to himself but on the other hand it could have happened at any time as an accident so i am sure you would do no more than you are doing now.I hope that your brother gets better and i am sure he will be a lot stronger also this will give him the time he needs to get over his break up as time really does help,talking of help if you would like to talk mail me and i will give as much time as you need.

Answer 6

Hi,
God I dont know where to start, this is a very emotional issue for me as I tried to kill myself 4 years ago but failed. I don't know if it's the same for your brother but I just got to the point where I could breathe think or want to try anymore. The feeling is so strong it's hard to put into words.I felt I had no way out and for me it was a major cry for help. As sad as this may sound I think it was the best thing I did only because it got me the help I really needed. I had people work with me that showed me other options things I couldnt see myself. It was such hard work and at times I was so low I couldnt see the future at all but I got through it. You sound like such a caring brother and the shock for you is worse cos you really only get to see the situation at the point where your brother has cracked. You need to stand strong and be your brothers shoulder to cry on, you need help yourself and please please please do go and talk to someone about this on a weekly thing but where your brother is concerned you need to be the strongest you ever have been. He may say things that sound stupid and you wonder is this it is this why he tried to kill himself but something small to you may be major to him so listen and dont judge. I got through it and I am a really better person for it. He can be the same just give him time and be there for him but remember have some one to be there for you. God bless and be strong!! xxxx

Answer 7

i wish i could give you a hug. i'm very sorry.

try not to drink too much, it makes it worse.
i don't suggest you stay alone. maybe ask a close friend to come over, someone you trust, and wont mind if you're not your cheerful self. snuggle up, and watch movies, eat popcorn, try things that will temporarily distract you - books, music, or a combination. distraction theory worked for me, whenever i felt particulary depressed, however it only works for so long. having someone there, just beside you, no need for conversation, is also comforting, and my dog provided that for me over the past year.

play computer games. silly, trivial ones. or if that doesn't work try something that requires more thought.

try not to sit and d nothing, your thoughts will only take over.
draw pictures, write stories, poetry. getting your feelings on paper can have a soothing effect, but doesn't wrk for evrybody.

if you're religious, think about the goodness of Jesus, and that he's looking over you. personally, doesn't have any effect on me, but it depends on you're beliefs.

maybe go for a walk with a friend. exercising uses up your energy and can provide a release for your feelings. it will also help you sleep later on tonight. maybe go to a gym for a bit. i used to go for runs when i was particularly angry; it works a treat.

if you want to talk to get everything out, talk to a random stranger on the net. can make it a lot easier. infact, if you wish, feel free to email me. suppression is bad, although it stops the pain for at least a little while.

i'm very sorry. it usually is the best of people who get hurt.

hope i help in some way.
take care of yourself, xxxxx

Answer 8

First if it were me I would pray to God and thank him for the fact that you still have your brother yes he may be on a vent, and he may be in bad shape but he is still here and anything is possible thru God. You can also check and see if there are support groups for you to attend and get counseling, or find a true good friend and talk to them. Since your brother is still alive I am sure that God has something for him in store and he needs to pray to see what that is. Check with your church or religious group and see if they have support groups or even prayer groups you may be able to find some help there. I know you are probably thinking this is some weird person talking to me but, I have been in some rought spots and the only thing that has helped me was the Grace of God and I am greatful for whatever he gives me.I am not saying that everything since has been easy there are still trials in my life but they go much better with the help of God in my life. Good Luck and God Bless you , your brother and all of your family.

Answer 9

I'm sorry sweetheart that cant be bearable especially on your own so listen to me //phone the Samaritans and they will talk you through and suggest you go to them for the night or whatever and think positive ALL THE TIME and things will be OK as your mind comes back to perspective you know Karen things are always at the worst when they happen and as the clock goes forward so will you and you dear Brother. Hope all will be well and soon!! be strong lovey and be there with him all the time ,its a good feeling to come round and see your family looking down at you in bed

Answer 10

I am terribly sorry for you and your family. I have not gone thru this but I wanted to reach out to you someway...I am praying right now for strength and encouragement even at this trying time. Do not go through this alone...it's good that you're sharing and my hope is that you're surrounded by others. Your brother and his family needs your strength and sound mind even at a time as devastating as this is. Don't give up hope...God Bless you all.