Okay my best friend ill call her kelly is dating my cousin for almost 3 yrs now and she desperatly in love with him she wants to marry him he wants to wait till the graduate college it been causing drama all year.It recently came to my attention from another friend of mine who is her roomate and a reliable source that kelly has stopped taking her birth control pills,using oil as a lub to try weaken condoms?, and has an ovulation test kit in hopes to get pregnant?
Only reason i have not said anything is because i think its a phase like the one she went through in highschool and i dont think using oil as a lube can really weaken a condom but i am concerned she might go to further lengths?
2007-04-21 05:38:36 · 13 answers · asked by Monica D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Suggest you have a talk with Kelly and tell her you are aware of what she is doing. Your cousin needs to know he is being set up. This situation is not fair to anyone.
2007-04-21 05:42:23 · answer #1 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not being very bright by trapping a guy by getting pregnant. She is only going to make her life worse. He could realize that he does not want to get married and have a family and she is stuck by taking care of the baby by herself and fighting in court for child support. That is the worse thing she can do. Yes you can break down a condom by using oil based products. It makes the condom weak and it will tear. She needs to realize that he should love her and then marry her and then have a baby. There are no guarantees in life whatsoever. Even if she was to do the right thing and wait the relationship still might not work. She is being very selfish and stupid if you ask me.
2007-04-21 05:55:34 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first all many lube's weaken the condom's that is a fact ,secondly it sounds like she is trying to trap him , which is bad for both people, but even worse for the baby and i think you should tell them both what is going on, it doesn't save a relationship, it is very hard being a parent ,i have 2 kids and a loving husband ,but kid's are a blessing if you are ready for them ,but she is being very irresponsible, kids can make a great relationship better , while if the relationship is on the rocks it just makes it go down ward spiral , the fact that she is doing it purposely w/out tell in him is both disrespectful ,and just wrong, well good luck on this situ.
2007-04-21 06:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know this is a difficult question because you are treading on a thin line between being nosy, and been concerned. I would have to ask you what is more important to you. Is it your cousin or your best friend? You might lose one or the other if you say something. Which if any would you have an easier time parting ways with?
2007-04-21 05:43:41 · answer #4 · answered by ellasdaughter2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oil can weaken the condom, and she is just going to lose him if she gets pregnant. he WILL leave her lying a*s, and she'll deserve it. if she tricks him just because they aren't getting married as soon as she wanted, then that is horrible, and no baby should be brought into this world with a mother like that. you need to tell your cousin, and then tell her. he's in for a real rude awakening if he doesn't know. it's not like they are breaking up, but if she is willing to do this, that might be the best thing for them.
2007-04-21 05:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to Kelly and see what she has to say. Never depend on hearsay. Try to explain to her the benefits her husband to be would have with a college degree. Point out to her the responsibility of having a baby and even then it is no guarantee that he will marry her.
2007-04-21 05:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by p00756 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-04 10:11:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a really sad situation for your friend Kelly. To me anyway having a boyfriend who is going to college and who wants to finish school is very important. She should support him and be undertanding of his needs as well as her own. Trying to get pregnant just to force some guy to marry her is really low. It doesnt ring as real love it sounds more like she is being really selfish. She should care about the man she loves reaching his goals and feeling good about himself. She should not be trying to trap him in a marriage he isnt ready for or parenthood either. If I were you i would sit down with both of them and tell them what you have heard and that you dont think that her behaviour is right. Even if it is just a phase is it isnt fair that a baby is used as an excuse to force someone to have to marry. Baby's should only be brought in the world when people are ready for them and both parties want to have one. It sucks when girls use this trick on guys its really retarded. Talk to your friend, Would the guy actually stay with her if she pulled that crap? Because he doesnt have to marry her in order to take care of his kid, he doesnt have to be forced into anything he doesnt want to do. Marriage doesnt make life any easier for a kid, there are plenty of good single parent families. Tell your friend she will end up alone eventually if she does this to her love because he will not want to stay with a manipulative woman forever. He may marry her but it will end in divorce eventually if she has to sink to such manipulative means to get what she wants. No guy likes a selfish and manipulative woman as a girlfriend or a wife. They will eventually leave them, thats just how things work. It really seems to me that maybe your friend doesnt really love her boyfriend because she is so quick to ruin his hopes and goals in order to get what she wants. She should put his needs first if she really loves him. I'm sure she wouldnt like him tricking her into something she isnt ready for.
2007-04-21 05:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by r_u_m_b2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your friend. This will end badly. A relationship has to be based on honestly and trust if it is to survive. Trying to trap someone into marriage under false pretenses will eventually leave her alone with a small child.
They need to work this out; if they cannot then it shows that they have fundamental disagreement that will show up in other areas. It is better to find out now and move on to a partner that shares your values than be trapped in a marriage with someone you find out too late that you don't like.
2007-04-21 05:47:48 · answer #9 · answered by Bruce H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kelly needs some serious professional counseling.
If she is truly doing things to become pregnant, perhaps someone needs to advise her partner. If he doesnt wish to marry just yet, he certainly doesnt wish to become a parent.
This can become very unpleasant for them both!
Not to mention the fact of bringing an innocent baby into the mix.
2007-04-21 05:43:13 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋