I used to exude confindence...now, not so much so. What ways can I build myself up? I've been told many times that I'm beautiful...but I just don't feel that way any more. I know its what I feel about myself...my self-esteem is shot! Help...
2007-04-21 05:04:41 · 26 answers · asked by caramelqueen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
me too. if you get any reasonable answers please let me know.
2007-04-21 05:08:08 · answer #1 · answered by fab me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ABOUT YOU
Let's take a look at your mind set about your self-esteem first. It may be that your confidence in self was unconsciously misplaced/out of focus. You said that many people has told you that you r beautiful. I am assuming you mean they were complimenting you on your outwards appearance, not your character or personality. Well, if that is what made you feel good about yourself than that is why you are now not feeling good about yourself. Unfortunately, you have gathered a false concept of self worth. You may have thought that your looks were enough to get a man and keep a man. Not so. Guys know when a girl values who she is as a person or not. So think about building yourself up with the right kind of confidence: self worth, meaningful goals, moral values, intellectual knowledge and integrity. You must know that outwards appearance can change drastically, but inside beauty grows richer as the yrs go by. Seek to be with someone who is looking for a person with self worth not a trophy doll. Sometimes outwards beauty can be a curse b/c some people think if you look that good you must not be smart (intelligent). Go out there and prove them wrong!
ABOUT THE CHEATER
Remember your bf didn't cheat on you because of what you did or didn't do. He cheated because he wanted too. He had a choice to make and he made it. So don't take it too personally. I know you are hurt and disappointed, but the problem lies at his feet not yours. Some guys are weak and stupid and unappreciative and immature! If he is trying to say that his unfaithfulness was your fault-dump him and move on b/c he is refusing to acept responsiblity for his own immoral act and he will continue to blame you each time he does it again. Please don't judge who you are in this guy or any other guy.
2007-04-21 05:43:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are gonna have to come to the realization that it was not your fault that NOTHING about you or the way you look caused him to cheat. Some men are just cheaters and no matter who they're with or how beautiful they may be they will cheat because they are afraid of commitment. Also you need to know that there's gonna be a day that he's gonna be all alone and nobody's gonna want him and he'll realize all the mistakes he's made, and I can promise you that you will have moved on and be in a better place in your life and you'll be able to look back and think His Loss, or What was I thinking I can do SOOOOOOOOO much better, and you WILL. Right now you're hurting, but soon real soon you'll see what I'm saying is true.
2007-04-21 05:30:02 · answer #3 · answered by sbourque79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your bad experience. You need to understand that it is not your fault he cheated on you. People who cheat have issues with their self esteem. It has nothing to do with you as a person or your appearance. for gods sake, even models and geniuses get cheated on!
Dont let it get you down. Move on and learn to love yourself, so no matter what happens you dont feel incomplete. You should feel good about yourself even when you're alone, and know you are beautiful without having someone remind you- Maybe when you see what's good in you, you'll find it easier to recognise the right guy for you.
Take care
2007-04-21 05:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't cheat because of faults in the spouse. They cheat because THEY have faults, are immature, and selfish. So, you aren't responsible for his cheating- he is. But, I can understand how you feel, cuz I went through the same feelings, when my ex cheated. You don't say if you've gotten rid of the traveling sperm spreader, or if you have bought into the idea that his actions aren't his actions, but rather a reaction to some shortcoming in you. That's as much of a stretch as blaming a car for being in an accident, and absolving the drunken driver behind the wheel. A person could believe it, but it wouldn't really matter. The driver WAS to blame, and believing anything else doesn't change the facts.
2007-04-21 05:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl, it is all fine and dandy what everyone says , that it isn't your fault and its not about you. But bottom line when someone cheats on you it rocks your world. Even Halle Berry had her self esteem shaken by a cheater. There is no quick fix for this. When someone cheats it's like getting stabbed. Your emotional wounds need more time to heal. In time you will feel better. With prayer it will get better.
2007-04-21 05:19:30 · answer #6 · answered by BROWNIE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize the cheating wasn't because you were lacking in any area...it was because he was selfish and wanted to satisfy his curiosity and sexual desire with someone else.
There's no reason for your confidence to be affected...he messed up, not you. You should feel as great about yourself as ever. Why would someone else's poor behavior be a reflection on the kind of person you are? You had no control over him...just you.
Stop taking the blame for other people's poor behavior. If you did nothing wrong, then you've got nothing to feel bad about. Love yourself...if you don't, why should anyone else?
2007-04-21 05:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people just cheat for the thrill of it. I doubt it had anything to do with you. However, I know how you feel. My self esteem has been low before. The answer is to pull yourself up out of the gutter. Move on and show him you can do better. Because I can assure you that you can and he cant.
2007-04-21 05:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by redhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's the pig. He's the one that cheated. You did nothing wrong except choose a cheater (and I'm sure that wasn't intentional).
It will take a while. Take things slow in future relationships and realize there really are some wonderful, faithful men out there. You've just got to weed through the losers.
2007-04-21 05:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely take advantage of those nice clothes. Don't play any games because that is a sign of immaturity. Just focus on yourself right now, and look the best you can. This will help attract other guys. But, when you do get into another relationship, try not to carry over your trust issues, because trust me, it absolutely kills relationships. I know from experience. Just try to be the best g/f you can be, and if that isn't good enough for them, then they aren't good enough for you.
2016-05-20 03:15:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face it girl, Men are dogs. They cheat on girls period. Look at all the beautiful models that have been cheated on. Don't let him cheat you out of who you are, and how you feel. Believe in you. You don't need a man like that. I have been cheated on in the past. I know that you can feel bad. The only thing you are doing though, is letting him still get the best of you. He does not deserve that. Move on.
2007-04-21 08:17:58 · answer #11 · answered by Heather D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋