how do you get a loved one who is self destroying to take responsibility without interventions?

Question

he will be so mad if outsiders are called in but then he wouldn't listen to us

Answer 1

be one........

Answer 2

You really can't, unless you held your own "intervention." Just get together with your family, discuss ways you won't enable him anymore unless he gets treatment, and tell him about it. Just say, "Unless you accept the responsibility of taking care of yourself, you can no longer come here/live here/be a part of our lives." Chances are, he'll choose you guys over his addiction. And if not, then it IS time to call an outsider regardless of how angry he gets. This could be a question of life or death eventually if he keeps at it.

Answer 3

This is a tough question and we're going through something similar with my nephew. One thing I've learned is that no one can make them change. They have to want to and at least be open to the help they are given. My nephew was put in rehab for one week. He got out and seemed like he felt better about himself and was ready to do the work to change. Unfortunately, he seems to be headed back in the wrong direction. These people with addictions need more help than we, the average person can give them. They need counselors who can help them to understand their behavior and work through their depression and anxiety. If you have tried everything else, an intervention may be your last hope and resort. Better for the person to be mad at you than to lose them needlessly. I wish you the best of luck and hope this all works out for all involved.

Answer 4

i have been giving "tough love" to a person who really matters to me in order for this person to realize that she's going to be alone if she doesn't change her ways.
Life has taught me a good deal of lessons, one of them is people won't change if they don't start by taking responsibility for they actions. You cannot pry open people's minds and make them understand what they are doing is wrong. But you can make them "feel" what is going to happen if they don't change. This is hard on both, the family and the one who's self-destroying, but sometimes they need to hit rock-bottom in order for them to see what they are doing is not acceptable.
Go to your local library and find info about it so you know exactly what you have to do. Hope it works for you!

Answer 5

hmmm...... maybe u shudn't get outsiders in... maybe u shud just show him how much u love n need him... how much ur family'll miss him if he commits suicide... tell him, he won't leave if he truly loves u all. gud luck.