Why? 2 party abusive relationship.?

Question

In my past relationship (I left so there's no need to lecutre me), my ex would say things (such as the c-word) when we'd fight and things were heated just to set me off. There's a reason this word bothers me and is an entirely different issue. He know it bothers me an everytime he did I would snap and hit him. He would then commence to hit/choke/kick/etc.. me.

I want to understand this behavior.

My question is why can't men control their anger. 2 wrongs don't make a right however, a "good man" would not hit let alone not stop hitting a woman even though I was not right for hitting him.

Best answer is detailed about the behavior eacue/effect/etc.. and lists sources.

Answer 1

First of all, I don't believe a woman should be called that word, even when the arguement gets heated and I don't believe in hitting women either. The problem it seems to me was that you both knew how to "push each others buttons" and your disagreements became fights instead of learning how to talk things out. Every couple will have disagreements now and then but there is a right way to argue. Once the name calling starts, you are each just trying as hard as you can to get to the other person. It always goes downhill from there. Good for you for getting out of such a volatile relationship that sounds like it was toxic to both of you. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle themselves during a disagreement or fight. Choose a nicer, more respectful guy next time.Good luck!