I LOVE HIM but wanna change him plz help?

Question

We were married for 1 yr & 3 mnths.We even hav a child of 1yr (u guyz understand that we commited****that thing earlier widout any prevention)Prob is he is very lazy to work &earn.He also has the habit of Boozing. He forces me to bring money from my parents(his family members are not supportive).I lie to my parents something or the other &bring. But he drinks , wastes all money by giving it to others &spends money lavishly.He also beats me up very badly &next day Compromises.I hav to give my salary also to him . One Main thing i definitely know that i can change him if he 'll leave drinking. He has many times promised me of leaving the drinks but has'nt.He also scolds me very vulgarly.One week back i came back to my mom's house as he scolded me near my office &on the road very badly.I came back to teach him a lesson I know that he also loves me very much &can't live widout me .He came to my place &asked to forgive .But my dad did'nt agree for thant &gave him 2 mnths time to show his c

I can't imagine my life widout him .I want to meet him now PLZ believe me i am mad in his love I stay widout breathing for 1 min telling my self that if i do that he'll come to me (i do even lot more things like that)now from 2 days he has stopped coming . He may also take extreme step of commiting suicide.I don have any force to stay away from him.My parents suggest me to stay away for some time but that is not the force.now what iam afraid of is if i go to him &appologise widout any fault of mine what if he starts to doall his prior things.?what if my parents also close all doors to me?he doesnt care of the child .My son atleast wants mom if not dad right?What shall i do iwant to see him but afraid of endless scoldings , beatings Nights widout sleep ,Days widout food.I used to walk abt 8 kms & go to off. Not that i was not at all happy wid him But those moments are few.He was there for me when even my parents were not there for me but first surrenders to his drinks Iam princess of m

You all tell dat ihav many other better men out but he has no one His parents have discarded him.I asked u guys to help me to change him but iam very more depressed to see ur answers .Only dad suggested me of some pills can u plz mention its name or the web address.My love will change him I have that hope Plz don tel no .Bless me & wish me I LOVE HIM plz understand what LOVE is and show me a way

Answer 1

listen i m sorry for all those bad answers by others

but i will tell u how to change him
go to him show ur emotions to him show how much u love him even cry in front of him and suggest him to leave drinking just warn him fake that u will suicide without him and if he drinks and he loves then definitely leaves the drink and will become neutral

Answer 2

The only thing your doing is feeding his habit . In most cases drugs or alcohol people don't want to change they like it and if you try to change them they think your picking on them . Something drastic has to happen to him to change his mind just like people that smoke they don't stop until they come down with cancer . He needs a shocker to wake him up . Good luck its going to be a long and hard road for you to go down but love does concur all .

Check on the web there is some kind of pill you can get that make a person sicker then a dog when they drink maybe you can slip it into his food or something I know its sneaky but what the hell better then watching him kill himself on booze

Answer 3

ok. this is the one of the hardest things someone ever has to do. LEAVE someone if they arent good for you. If you made a list of all the pros and cons in this relationship, i am sure without a doubt that the cons out weigh the pros. I have seen my mom in a relationship kind of like this. and i have been the kid in the middle. its hard. i have gone without food. or the lights cut off. or the water isnt working anymore. all because the money my dad was using towards drugs. it was bad. I as a kid was just woundering when my mom will finally see that she needs to let him go. and finally she did she kicked him out untill he got better, she gave him the choice between "us" or the "drugs" and he walked out. but while he was gone he soberd up and eventually she let him move back in when she felt it was safe and ok. and now we are doing good and fine. no more getting no sleep because my parents are up yelling and screaming at eachother all night. i never thought id c the day!

Answer 4

And your child lives in this environment?

You and your child need to leave this "man" and move in with your parents. DO NOT date anyone until your child turns 18. Since your child will only have 1 parent don't even think of having a social life until your child has grown up.

Thanks for having a child with this loser. If your child is a girl she will probably grom up to be a stripper/ nude dancer. If the child is a boy he will become a violent criminal. Thanks the world need more of both.


YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYONE. That is why you need to pick the correct man before sex/marriage and have a long engagement to see if your mate is a responsible and good man

Answer 5

Whoa you need some help, you have to know that this realtionship IS NOT healthy. Trust me, you need to leave broke-***. There are too many men in the world for you to waste your time on this guy. You cant change him, and nobody will (if he hasnt made an attempt now forget it) He beats you?.... GIrlfriend listen to yourself, do you wanna raise your baby seeing that? Come on open your eyes!!!!! And yes you CAN live without him, you did before you met and your heart didnt stop, so it is possible it will just take time. Get out!!!!

Answer 6

well, if he shows hardness to the child than you definitely should get away from him. But you need to tell your parents about this, parents help a lot. You might even want to tell your really close friends. How old are you too? if you and him are under 20 than you and you live with him than you should tell him maybe later, but if you guys are over 20 than you should try to treat him like a child. Tell him he has to do chores to earn money. And he only can drink on special occasions. limit his drinking too, his drinking might cause him to be violent so limiting that might help. I hope you get it to work out. :o) [a smile to keep you going]

Answer 7

The wisdom of the crowd, as you have already read all the responses prior to mine. Most of us believe that he is not going to change....If he really cares for you, he would not have abuse you! We are talking about physical and mental abuses here! Your parents really do not have to go through such terrible things too, they have raised you and now you actually go home and seek for financial assistance from them? What kind of husband would allow that? You are better off to leave him, bring some peace to yourself, your child and your parents. There are so many better men out there....furthermore, it is better to be alone for the right reason than to be together for the wrong one! I really do not see why you want to be with someone like that at all, do you love yourself and care about your family at all?

Answer 8

Hun you cant change him…hes a jerk your too good for him to be waiting on him hand and foot. You need to tell him its over and if he lays a hand on you ever again threaten to get him thrown in jail and get a restraining order. I think you should tell the authorities that he abused you. No one deserves this not you or the next person brush ya shoulders off and get him out of your life…that damn free loader. REAL man would never do such a thing.

Hope dis helps = P

Answer 9

Read your question and pick out one positive thing about how you described him. He wants you to lie, steal, put up with his drinking, beats up on you, abuses you verbally, etc etc etc etc. Is this the kind of man you love??? What are YOU getting out of it?

I'll put it to you straight. Your family and friends wonder what on earth you are doing with this guy. Even if they don't say it, they are wondering. And so are you. Otherwise you would not be here asking this question of total strangers.

No, you cannot change him. As long as you are in the relationship, you get to feel like a victim. You get to believe that other people feel sorry for you. (They don't.) And you get to believe that you can be this man's savior... the person who will love him enough to make him see the good path in life.

Don't kid yourself. It isn't going to happen. Get out while you still have a shred of self-respect.

Answer 10

You cant change anyone. Once a beater always a beater. Get out now for your child's sake and safety. You deserve better then that, there are good decent men in this world that would respect you and love you for who you are. You have to stand up for yourself and walk out, don't look back or go back. He is keeping you there, because you have no self esteem. He is a loser , who shouldn't be breathing and wasting my precious air. Listen to your father, leave now!

Answer 11

First of all, you can't change anyone. They have to want to make that change. And if he was serious about changing, his actions would show it and by they way you are describing him I doubt he will be changing anytime soon. If you still want to be with him, then I suggest you separate from him until he gets his act together. If he doesn't change within a year, then I suggest a divorce. Because if he is already abusing you now, it's not going to long before he starts abusing your child. Husband or not, if anyone abuses my child, I would KILL THEM! So I would suggest you separate yourself and your child from this man ASAP!