Depression in relationships?

Question

In the case of a woman who is suffering from panic disorder and anxiety and/or depression. Her husband has told her that he is fed up with her and why can't she be normal? He is adrinker and also will not pay any of the bills etc leaves all that to her to worry about even though they are 14thousand in debt.

He insists on sex when he wants it and even if she is feeling unwell or has side effects from her meds he insists and she is not strong enough to say no. If she does say no he gets in a furious mood. I believe she is in an abusive relationship because although he does not hit her he controls her and i think what he does to her is classed as rape. She also self harms but hides that from him as he goes beserk and won't even sleep in the same room when she has done that.

Any advice i can give her appart from 'get out'???

Answer 1

be there to listen, but Get Out is a good idea for her
he IS abusive

Answer 2

Hello, oh me..she is in a bad place. First of all her husband should be her strength in this time of trouble, but he is so much a part of the problem. And although he doesn't hit her- he is hurting her on the inside...she's broken hearted, discouraged, & has a low opinion of herself. This is the exact opposite of what she needs right now. She needs unselfish love, understanding, consideration, and help. Not only does she need to get away from him - she needs to find someone who can give her what she so desperately needs right now... because this won't get better until she does.... I think she needs to go to church & find her some counseling - maybe at a mental health clinic or such. She deserves to be happy & to have love in her life....God would do that for her, I've seen him work in other peoples lives. She's lucky to have you for a friend...I'm wishing the best for the both of you, good luck ...bye

Answer 3

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 4

Listen to her. No matter how what she says, no judgement. Then suggest she stay with you for a while or a trip together. Find a way for her to have a break from him so she can clear her head. Alert her family and friends. Maybe not his as they may side with him. Or call a crisis center for advice (do search for woman crisis center, many take anonomous emails) or stage an intervention. Or call ur local police department about his abuse. To alert them and give her a way out. You're a good friend. Good luck!

Answer 5

look all i can say for u is i been there done it and im only 20 my guy was the exect same and i was hospitalized for a month due to him but i built up a little courage and got out i waited til he went out somewhere got in a taxi and left a was soooooo ill for a long time after it but got thru it he was gone for ten mins i took nothin and just went i no the person in question mite not think the same but believe me i could not be happier and i think she wud be the same
good luck
best wishes
hope ive gave a little light
xxx

Answer 6

Actually, she chose this guy. Her mental illness made her unsuitable for a nice sane guy. She either thinks she deserves to be treated this way or her craziness drove away other men. She's staying because she wants to, deep down, because her depression makes her self-worth low.

The best advice you can give her is to get her mental health fixed. She'll leave on her own because only a crazy woman would stay.

Answer 7

if in debt to 14 grand this may explain his drinking and explain
why he can not understand her, and why he is not behaving in a normal way, i think all understanding went out the window with the drinking, and would explain alot towards the approach to your problem, self harm is a call for help, but unless he gets
help for the drinking he will be of little help at all to her.

Answer 8

she needs to seek help now. It will only get worse in a very bad way. honestly get out is the best thing she could do right now. Yes no matter if they are married if she says no than in my opinion it's rape. She needs help and obviously you are concerned about her so let her know that if she is to scared to go seek help by herself that you will go with her. She needs someone like you who cares about her right now. her soul is lost and she needs to find it again very soon.

Answer 9

you sound like you are a true friend, be there for her, let her pour her heart out to you, but also advise her that she IS in an abusive relationship, abuse takes on many forms, you could try finding her a womans refuge in your area, she needs to get away from him to sit and think about what to do. i wish you luck.xx

Answer 10

she needs therapy, he needs therapy too. couples therapy. there are a lot of people who will see her on a sliding scale or clinics that can see her for free. i believe ptsd really needs therapeutic work. in addition, she sounds like she is suffering from a million other things, both internal and external. she absolutely needs to talk to someone professionally, and she needs to want to change, until she wants it and is ready, it will all stay the same

good luck to you. there are a lot of people in this world who want to help. take advantage of them, that's why they are there. as long as you give back too.

Answer 11

He is abusive. Her issues are not the major problem here. It's his abusive behavour!

Be there for her. Perhaps, suggest marital counselling. If she is in counselling for her anxiety/depression, her psychologist should be open to counselling the both of them.