Mother-in-law!! HELP?

Question

My mother-in-law expects me to call her 'mother-in-law.' I find this too awkward and wont do it!! Any advice?

Answer 1

helo! i sense d two of u r not close and maybe she wants 2 keep it that way by telling u 2 call her mother in law and not what they r usually called,
well id say give her what she wants and dont b sarcastic when doing so ok
goodluck

Answer 2

So you are married, and an adult, just tell her you are uncomfortable with it and could you agree on another name. Ask her how important to her it is for you to call her that (there may be sentimental reasons) and if she cant answer that, then say you would prefer to use her 1st name or whatever. Perhaps Mil, or Millie (short for mother-in-law) could become a nice pet name for her. Speak to your husband and see how much something like this would upset him, but as you are all adults, it shouldnt really be too big an issue. I would love to have a life where that was all I worried about!

Answer 3

Call her Mrs. Whatever-Her-Name-Is. It shows the minimum of respect due her as your spouse's female parent. Just remember this. One day you will have children. HER Grandchildren, and how much or how little she sees them... Well, let us just say that we may not wish certain rude people to see too MUCH of our little angels. Besides, "We are sooo busy. Come for a visit? Oh, not right now. There is just so much going on. YOU come for a visit, well we are a little cramped for space. Then there is that virus that's been raging around here lately. That might not be so good for someone of Your age, mightn't it, Mrs. What's-Your-Name?" Get my drift.
This approach has tamed many a less than cordial "In-Law".
Note of caution: Do NOT let your spouse know anything about this. Just let it happen in it's own time. Above ALL, do not tell Mother-In-Law.

Answer 4

are you her first daughter-in-law (if not, what do the other ladies call her). And what does she call you - "daughter in law"? This sounds very formal and a little bit like she's uneasy with you, perhaps doesn't know how to act around you.
Why not take her aside and say that you hope that you two can be very close friends - after all, you both have the interests of her son/your husband in common and you are sure he would want you both to get along just fine. So can you drop the titles and have first names instead, which you know would please him? Other than that, I suggest your husband has a word with her, along a similar vein. She may accede to his wishes instead.
This just sounds like a case of her feeling a little bit over-awed by you and perhaps she just doesn't know how to ehave here. Be gentle, it's not a big deal, and perhaps your husband should be the one to ask her to drop the formal titles.

Answer 5

Be straight forward with her from now because later it will get even harder. Tell her you would rather call her by (whatever it is you'ld rather call her by) and that's all. Or just try not to call her by a name at all. ex: instead of saying "mother in law would u like a drink of water" say "would you like a drink of water". Mother in laws are a drag...I should know. Mine wins the cake and the crown. I call mine by her first name and my father in law as "mr & his last name". I like him more.

Answer 6

Tell her that you don't wish to call her mother-in-law. Tell her it is too long and too formal. Then just don't call her ANYTHING at all. How often do you really have to use someones name when they are in your presence anyway?

Answer 7

say to her that mother in law is too much of a mouthful so you'll call her MIL for short. if she says she doesn't like that then give her the choice of that or her real name.

Answer 8

We've been married over thirty years.
In that time I think I had to address my MIL by name, or by Mom, maybe 4 times. Treat her like you would anyone whose name you do not know. She'll get the picture.

BTW I did not have a poor relationship with her either. Its just that names and addresses are just not all that necessary.
Let it go.

Answer 9

If she's nice to you and reasonably easy to live with otherwise, and this one thing is just important to her for some strange reason, I'd say do her the little favour and address her as she wishes to be addressed.
If, however, she is a dragon-lady and this is just part of her manipulation campaign, designed to send you round the bend - laugh in her face.

Answer 10

Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable and as she is family you would like to feel at ease with her. Had the same problem with my one demanding to be called Mum (To which I replied "I have a great Mum already so i'll just call you Betty") Which was better than my other name for her ('Puckered up dog's bum' mouth!)