My husband and I have been having some trouble.. I asked what would make him happy, he said children.. however he isn't sure he wants to have them with me.
The history on this, he had cancer which left him unable to produce children many years ago. I established a great career but have always longed for children. He is under the impression that I will not alter my work schedule to be good enough to have children. We haven't been able to really talk about this ...
On top of all of this - over the last year he has had two secret "friendships" with women who have children. One he followed through her pregnancy and another who he sees regularly and always text messages with. On both of them, he has continued to say they are only friends, nothing more.
I don't trust him at this point... many problems all lumped up into one.. I have reached a point now where I just don't know what to do!
Thanks
2007-04-19 20:50:31 · 10 answers · asked by Exausted.. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you are having a crossroads. If he can't have children, is he asking to adopt? And how is your great career keeping you from adopting or going in vitro?
His "secret friendships" are a little creepy, but I sense your "great career" is cutting off quality time with your formerly great husband.
2007-04-19 20:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Exhausted,
Children are not a bargaining chip, they are a lifetime commitment. Having children can make the best of relationships shaky, they in no way cement a shaky relationship. Wanting children and making the commitment it takes are two different things.
Secret friendships are deal breakers for me. My husband of 16 years was 'friends' with this young lady who's boyfriend left her pregnant and alone. Oh big surprise her baby looks just like our daughter. Hmmmm.
I filed for divorce and he died in a car crash the night before our divorce would have been final.
If I was you, with the information you gave....stick with the secure career and go to counseling together.
I wish you all the best.
2007-04-19 21:04:05 · answer #2 · answered by Suzy-Q 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful on what you do. Keep your ears and your eyes open. From experience and my friends THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MEN HAVING FRIENDS(WOMEN). If they do they have some intamacy with them which makes it very strange. As a mother I would suggest for you not to have a child with this man, it will only makes things harder for you. You two are having problems and its mainly him. I don't think he dedicated to you and you only and thats the way it should be. I'm sorry to say this but don't take your marriage as a forever thing especially these days.
2007-04-19 21:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would immediately sit him down and let him know that we had a communications problem and needed help addressing it. I would suggest marriage counselling. If he did not want to go, I would go alone to see if I really wanted to stay with a man who was at the very least cheating emotionally and denying me children.
Good luck, HTH
2007-04-19 21:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants the woman with the children obviously.
Communication, counseling, divorce or continue down the same path, your life....
2007-04-19 21:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by Red 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
provide myself two seconds to consider the phrases "OH F*&%" after which snatch the keys, placed on my footwear and wish i do not travel down the steps. Then i might take a look at frantically to capture as much as my vehicle and hop within and positioned the handbrake on.
2016-09-05 18:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by crumble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say I would probably leave him. He doesn't sound like he loves you anymore. You only have one life, and to spend it with someone who has "friends" like his would be intolerable. You need to find someone who would appreciate you for who you are and what you've made of yourself. Tell him he's free to find some woman with a ready made family.
2007-04-19 21:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
word of the wise if your HUSBANDs says he dosent want to have children with his wife not haveing kids and your work schedule are the least of your worries its him move on hes not respecting you and what you like to do
2007-04-19 20:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by khissmyputtytat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid he has already choose his coarse. If you want to try and stay with him get some counseling
good luck
2007-04-19 20:59:55 · answer #9 · answered by Krazee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of you need a kid and soon. keep an eye on him have that kid and make him happy
2007-04-19 20:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋