Why do women tend to lose their idenity?

Question

When they get married? They become a 'so and so's wife' or 'so and so's mom'. Their whole idenity is dependent on the marriage and they lose any separate idenity they once had. This doen't seem to happen to men as much. Do you think this a is a reason more men cheat than women?

JUST ME - The statistics SHOW that men cheat more than women. So, what age are YOU living in? I didn't say women don't cheat, but men cheat more often than women. THE FACTS!

K BOOSE - When someone loses their identity they are not as stimulating to their partner anymore. That is what cheating has to do with it. Do they go outside their marriage looking for someone can stimulate them not just sexually, since most women lose themselves when they get married.

CHatMan - That is my point. Men cheat because they aren't getting something in the relationship. It's not only sex. They might not be getting any mental stimulation because all these women talk about is the kids, laundry, etc.

Answer 1

funny, i would have imagined that the husband loses their identity first.

when they marry, they become one single entity that has new sets of rules, emotions and regulations..

Answer 2

More men do this then you think. I'd almost say the majority of men I know have no hobbies, and see friends 2-3 times a year. They go to work, go home, help out with family and kids.

Your assertion that men cheat more then women is beginning to look more questionable. Rates at which women admit to cheating are climbing rapidly. There is some evidence that women simply are less honest when responding to surveys asking if they've cheated. I think there is a bit of a cultural differance where men are proud that they've 'scored' and women are more ashamed they had sex outside of marriage, but its beginning to look like rates of cheating are similar.

Answer 3

No. I don’t' think that is the reason men cheat on women.

The woman looses her identity because we still live in a male dominated society where the ideal unit is the male in the lead.

If the female was leading, he would be “castrated” in society’s eye..


It’s also the human laziness to generalize; you want to describe the whole family as a unit, so you fall back on the tradional head of the family to symbolize the rest of them.

As for men cheating, well, there are SOOOOO many things that feed that; I would be here all day.

Is that the female being deminutized part of that? Maybe for SOME individuals, but I think that on the whole it does not come into play on the cheating aspect.

In general it’s a biological and societal influence both that cause men to cheat. Also a big part is learned…. Children learn what a relationship is from their parents and those around them. A cheating divorced parent is more likely to have cheating divorced kids.

Answer 4

It's not necessarily a loss of identity, It's more or less the fact that many (not all) women kind of put themselves on the back burner. When you become one in a marriage or become a parent, it's not just about your needs and wants. And some women are very nurturing in nature. They tend to put their families needs and wants before their own. Which can result in them losing touch with who they are. Since you added the details at the end, it can contribute to a spouse wanting to cheat because they may feel that the person they are with has changed and that can do a little damage to a sex life.

Answer 5

I think the idea that women lose their identity after marriage is a gross generalization. Many women retain their last names, and sometimes husbands even adopt the wife's last name. Furthermore, just because you're married doesn't mean you lose your identity. Your identity just changes somewhat, but the same is true for the man. He's now a husband. I don't think this has any correlation to how many men cheat. I think women tend to cheat less because we tend to have a different view of sex than men. For many women, it's about love, not physicality.

Answer 6

How does the loss of a females identity cause men to cheat? Are you saying that because the female is no longer a big thing that they move onto something else. If you think this then your wrong.

Primaraly men cheat because they love their wife, but arnt getting what they want in the relationship, be it love or sex so they seek it elseware.

Answer 7

I don't think it's a reason for men to cheat. I do believe that women are raised to believe that we are to "submit" to our husbands. That may have worked in the "old" days but this is the new age and I believe women need to figure out who they are before they get married and let the marriage be an extra bonus.

Answer 8

Maybe in 1950 women lost their identity when married, but that doesn't apply anymore.

Besides, most people have had several marriages and several periods of being single, so marriage doesn't have the same impact on anyone's identity that it did 50 years ago.

With all the women I know, their identity is based on what they do for a living.

Answer 9

When you marry, you become one. I think the reason men cheat is because women don't want to give up their so called idenity. Women want to be right and in charge too much these days.

Answer 10

More women have co-dependency issues, and borderline and histrionic personality disorders than men do. I think more have dependency issues too. But more men are OCD and narcissitic.

At any rate, what you are describing (a sense of loss of one's identity) is an example of setting poor boundaries and ignoring your own needs, and it's dysfunctional.

BTW, everybody is so-and-so's something or other, but that doesn't mean they are wandering around trying to figure out where they left themselves. People who get lost have problems.

Answer 11

I would definitely have to say it's because women have always been considered to be under men. I don't think thats the reason that men cheat more, thats more about men having more sexual hormones to have more urges for sex? Or Women can control them self much better.