My ex and I had a huge falling out when our relationship ended. Much was said and done and we both acted out in anger. When I tried to talk to him and confront him, he deleted my emails and didn't want to talk to me anymore. I let it go and time has passed...it always bothered me and I called him and apologized but I got really emotional and told him I would email him and to please not delete it. Well...he has been online, yet the email says "unread". Does this mean he is considering it?
I want things to be ok between us, without any anomosity. We went thu alot and I helped him thru so much. Has time made him think? Or does he not care. He knows we cannot go back to the way things were...but I wanted to see if we can get past this and remain friends, he also is aware of this. Please just tell me if you were him how would you feel. I mean he could have deleted it like the rest. I sent it on Monday, its almost Friday:(
2007-04-19 16:15:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As you well know, each and every person is different. I have no way of knowing what this guy is like. Thus, I can only offer up how I would respond; my perspective; etc. I must admit, I tend to be a little more forgiving and honest, as it relates to my feelings, than most dudes I know. Here it goes: (1 question at a time)
Does this mean he is considering it? Probably, it means 1 of two things. He either hasn't seen it or he is waiting for the right time to read and respond to it. My guess is it's the latter of the 2. If I had to guess, I would say that he is waiting till he has the time to devote the propper amount of time and thought to your email. It's obvious from your post that he was hurt very bad, and it is probably tougher on him than you will ever know.
Has time made him think? Time makes everyone think. Most people tend to minimize the negatives and magnify the positives of the past, especially in relationships. They say that time heels all wounds, right. Why would this be any different?
Or does he care? I am 29; I have had 3 major relationships in my life, and I will tell you that I still care/love/have a special place in my heart for each one of them.
I have a few questions for you:
Why is it so important to you to remain friends with him?
Why do you want things to be okay without anomosity?
Why did you feel it necessary to include that you helped him so much during the relationship?
Finally, it's obvious that you carry an extreme amount of guilt resulting from this relationship; how it ended; etc. Why?
I look forward to hearing back from you.
2007-04-19 18:58:14 · answer #1 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off not knowing what you did to each other it is difficult to reply to you. Beind a man I know what it is like to be in his shoes. You must understand a lot of us men have an ego problem and will not let things go without a long time to work out our issues.
Another thing you must ask yourself is does he have another woman in his life ? Some men can't deal with being alone and look for the closest bit of comfort we can find.
He may even be one of those asses that wants to make you suffer in your own guilt because he blames you for all of the wrongs. You must relise one very important thang It takes two to fight not just one person can be blamed for all of the wrongs in a relationship. This would be a sign of him being conceeded.
He may also be being too hard on himself thanking he was the cause of everythang. He may feel he dosen't deserve you and he is punnishing himself. If he has stated he dosent want to be your friend then you done your best. Find another man and learn from the mistakes that were made from your last relationship. He may learn that he lost a lot more than a girlfriend and to not have you in his life at all may drive him to his knees.
Either way if I were in your shoes I would find another man who is more forgiving. You can't wait on him life is too short.
One more thang. Don't take life too seriously you will never get out of it alive. Relax and enjoy life.
Just suggestions
Thanks
Sarge
2007-04-21 03:10:38 · answer #2 · answered by Sarge6769 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to me...the guy is playing games with you and from the looks of it, it's seems to be working. He knows the e-mail is there and he also knows that you can see if he read it or not. It sounds to me that you tried everything to bring the relationship back to a point where the two of you can forget the bad things and become good friends. He, from what you say, does not seem to be interested. I think that now is the time for you to move on to better things in your life.
Good luck,
2007-04-20 01:43:30 · answer #3 · answered by GC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's hurt and he didn't delete the e-mail because it's too hard for him too and he might read it when he gets the nerve. You may be asking too much of him right now to be his friend, he's obviously in the midst of anger, why not let him cool down first and then approach him with talks of friendship?
2007-04-20 04:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's hurt and he's still pissed! My guess is that he cares about you very much but he does not want to go thru the pain of having to read YOUR feelings when he is still trying to deal with his.
Leave him alone! Especially if the divorce is what YOU wanted. Time heals all wounds but there's no limit on how much time it will take. If you guys still see each other at times (kids) Just be polite and eventually you will be able to talk.
2007-04-20 00:09:56 · answer #5 · answered by da_catcar 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
When he is ready, he will talk. It might be better if you just give him some space. After a few weeks email him again if you feel the same still. Time heals wounds and as long as you give a guy some space and are on the level and want to make things civil, he will come around. Just give him some time and space.
2007-04-19 23:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by B Wiz 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You have some good answers already. I just wanted to put another thought in your mind. You say he hasn't read the email you sent him... have you considered that he has his email set on reading pane, so he sees what you wrote and can read it without actually opening the email? Lots of people do that, so he may have actually read it, you just can't tell. You've put yourself out there, now just let it be. If he wants to contact you, he will, give him some space. Best wishes.
2007-04-19 23:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by Proud to be 59 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I know you have regret and want to make amends but you should let it go. Even if he chooses to read your e-mail, most likely nothing will change and you don't want to look like an obsessed ex. I'm sure he has regrets too but it's done and over with.
2007-04-19 23:31:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jae C 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't like you anymore, so he doesn't want to be your friend. On top of that his new girlfriend doesn't want him to be your friend either. If a guy was doing what you are, girls would be saying he is stalking you. Stop contacting him, he is over you and doesn't even think about you anymore.
If he wanted to talk to you he would, the fact that he hasn't should be a hint to you. Do you get the hint now?
2007-04-19 23:22:16 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It could be a good sign* or not...since you sent it on Monday and it's almost Friday ...he hasn't opened it..but he hasn't deleted it* and hasn't responded to it.
Best thing to do now, is 'wait' till Sunday to see if he's opened it or not....If not.....time to move on and put him behind you*
2007-04-19 23:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋