My friend is gay. He was born in the wrong body and he went to prom last year in a tux and felt uncomfortable. So this year I made him a custom Kimono dress. He felt it would be nice to tell the administration about it rather than show up that night. At first they acted like it would be ok then called him up after the Virginia Tech thing happened and were like "No, don't wear the dree to prom cause next year someone will want to wear a swastica." First off he isn't breaking school dress code. Girls are aloud to wear tuxes to prom. Guys are aloud to wear kilts. Two years ago a guy wore a dress to prom and they let him in at the door but because my friend asked ahead he gets in trouble. They even called his mom and she won't talk to him anymore. He is the saddest I have ever seen him. I don't know what we could do. I'f anyone has any links to some actavist sites that can help me please send them. Should he just go to prom in the dress. Should we start a petition? Prom is April 28! HELP!
2007-04-19 15:48:57 · 20 answers · asked by sailorloo 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
you who answered, you know who you are, thats quite rude some of you i understand but your answers suck i've noticed well why was i reported email me?
2007-04-19 15:56:50 · update #1
they equated it to vtech they said some gay hater will shoot him and them
2007-04-19 16:04:14 · update #2
he is out everyone knows he is gay he wears dresses to school everyone loves him he could be prom queen
2007-04-19 16:05:55 · update #3
I seriously don't know what Virgina Tech has to do with ANY of this. He shouldn't just for the sake of his own saftey.
2007-04-19 15:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by BAnne 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
Wow, first of all, more power to your friend for standing up for what he wants and dressing how he chooses. Also, there is no reason why they should prevent him, especially since VA Tech has nothing to do with that. A dress is not the same thing as a swastika... it is ok to be transgendered. It is not ok to be hateful. Also, why won't his mom talk to him? Just because he is transgendered? That really sucks... I highly recommend that your friend talks to the school counselor on this matter, and maybe his mom can come too. It might be that it's a shock, not that she's actually mad, but she doesn't know how to express it. Other than wearing a dress anyway, though, I don't know what you all could do... you can't really make the school accept him, or make his mom accept him. But I am so glad that you are being a good friend and he should definitely wear a dress... if that is how he wants to dress, there is no reason why he shouldn't do that. A petition sounds like a good idea, especially if you could get your school's GSA behind it. Maybe you could have a trans-awareness day, or get more students behind allowing him to wear a dress. Whatever you do, know that you all have support, even if it doesn't seem like it.
2007-04-19 16:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by Rat 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Make him an over coat kind of formal male tailored jacket which he can wear and look as if he is in formal male suit and jacket but have the dress underneath? And if he feels comfortable take it off during the night it will be dark who can stop him? and if he's not comfortable taking it off open it a little he can still feel gorgeous and know people can only see a glimpse? It is silly they have changed their minds because of vt and his mom would have seen on the night any way so why the huff and puff? OR get him a really nice female tailored suit haha I think those are hot and I love wearing them myself!
2007-04-23 12:42:06 · answer #3 · answered by just_looking thanx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did they jump from homosexuality to swastikas? That just blew my mind.
Well how out is he in school? If he set no precedent for dressing girlish before in front of everyone and then shows up to prom decked out in a dress, that can be a shock to some people and he would have to be prepared for the consequences (which might mean a really lame time at the least)
Did they suggest no or did they set a penalty? Because if the administration set an unjust penalty (like extreme; expulsion for example) then you should petition (in a proper way) because that is discrimination. If its a minor penalty that will not be as bad to break the rule then its up to him to take the plunge .
Either way he really needs to settle things with his mom most importantly because prom is one night and moms are forever.
2007-04-19 16:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well I know how it feels to be in the wrong body. I say, wear the dress, bring a tux just in case, but he can make a pink and flashy one if he wants :3 And if he gets in trouble, just don't give a **** about it. Do what you can to prove that they're taking away his rights.
2013-12-10 12:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok the aclu will get behind him or her and there are many laws to protect transgenders . he can go to a gendr therapist and get a approval to undergo hrt and rlt then it would be really hard for the school to stop him from wearing a dress . here is the rub tho the school is seeing a boy that all of a sudden wishes to wear a dress to the prom . he has to make a more serious commitment to himself . start by presenting a fem image everyday makeup , dresses , the whole thing trying out for girls teams and such . your freind should be glad "she" has a freind like you , acceptence is a big part of transgenders fears . in the beginning there will be people that will have a hard time of accepting "her " . you can start by introducing "her" to other freinds you have if "she" can be a likable girl "she" will soon have a good group of accepting frineds . "she " is your freind but you also need to learn to accept "her" and lose all of the masculine pronouns . if someone calls "her" mr then you can simply correct them by saying ms . if you can get most to accept "her" as a girl then it only stands to reason as to why "she" would want to be wearing a pretty dress on prom night .
2007-04-19 22:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Start a *professionally written* petition and circulate it around school. They're using a recent tragedy as an excuse for their ignorant discrimination and restriction of positive expression. Talk to a gevernment or english teacher about writing it and getting it written fast. Get some pointers real quick on how to distribute the petition from the government teacher. Once you've gotten enough signatures, send one copy to the principal, one to the superintendent, and another to the guidance counselor. Let the administration know that the student body stands behind freedom of expression in this non-disruptive manner. Let them know that enforcing a dress code that enforces old fashioned gender roles is harmful to a transgender student's self image and self respect. Remind them that it is their job to protect students from harassment based on their gender identity and NOT to limit expression of one's gender identity because other people might be transphobic.
(If you look look can find some good topics to mention in this answer.)
2007-04-19 16:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ah, just do it. People are stupid. I mean, does it really make a difference if he wears a dress or not? Let him be...
It's quite possible that they will think he is a girl and let him in anyway.
But if you are worried about it, yes, start a petition. Go to the news if you're willing.
I don't see what any of it has to do with VT. Really, they should be more concerned that by not letting him do it, he'll turn into a shooter.
Ugh...like I said...people are stupid.
I support your friend 100%.
2007-04-19 17:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by IamBatman 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The reason is because society is close minded and does not allow for self expression.
If I was in his shoes, I'd have gone in the dress anyway, and had the ACLU on speed dial for if I get turned away at the door.
If I was headed to this same prom, having no previous desire to wear a dress, I probably would have after hearing of one's rights being violated.
2007-04-19 16:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by Miakoda 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm gay, keep this in mind as I answer. Wearing a dress just attracts attention to himself. Which will likely make him more uncomfortable than a tux ever would. He is who he feels inside. He doesn't need to wear a dress to feel himself. Remind him of that. I reccommend abiding by the school's instructions.
2007-04-19 15:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by actingjunkie700 2 · 7⤊ 2⤋
sounds like a sad and bad scenario...i wouldn't push it if i were you...i doesn't take much to set off a terrible event with these issues...find a better place to show off his dress and whoever his date will be...many more places are open to such displays...
i hope you play this safe rather than sorry and will have a good time celebrating the end of high school : )
2007-04-19 16:05:19 · answer #11 · answered by chef.jnstwrt 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋