Married 30+ years and nervous to ask my wife something..help!?

Question

We are entering the "empty nest" stage and I've been nervous about asking my wife if she would consider a trial period of what is talked about at this site:

http://www.aroundherfinger.com/

I am a bit upset that I don't feel comfortable talking to her about it, but I really am afraid that she will think I am "different". I bought the book and would like to ask her to read it.

I could use your input and opinions 1) Has anyone tried this (I was thinking of suggesting a 6 month 'trial period') ?

and 2) do the ladies here think you might freak out if if your long term partner approached you with this type of idea?

Thanks for your help with this as I been troubled with it for quite some time

Answer 1

All I can say is be honest with her. Maybe let her go to this website and see if it's something she is interested in. 30 years is something to celebrate. It may or may not be in her personality to participate in this. She won't think you are different. She may not understand it, but if you have a strong marraige (30 years sounds pretty strong) you guys can probably survive this. Good Luck. Hope I helped. My husband and I are equals. We both help and please each other equally. He does laundry, dishes, things for me when I need it, and I do the same for him. Just love her.

Answer 2

That's kind of cool! I have never heard of that, but did a quick read then and really, what problem could she have with it??? I'd love to say to my fella - clean the kitchen while I have a nap!! or go run me a bath and bring me a wine when I am in there. Unless I am missing a deeper sexual element, then I don't see why she wouldn't have fun giving you a few orders for a 6 month trial period... It actually sounds like fun... though I know myself I would end up feeling a little mean :)
That is the opinion of one woman - I can't say how you're wife will react, but sit down with her over a glass of wine, bite the bullet and tell her what you've been reading on the internet and that you'd be interested in knowing what she thinks.

Answer 3

I don't know if I would be nervous or not, dear! You never know-your wife might love the idea! I don't think you're talking about being her slave or anything, just that she take over the responsibilities and decision-making of the household. Maybe she'd like to watch you clean the house, or kiss her toes, or who knows what? I'd be intrigued by the idea! Just ask her to read the book, tell her that you've had this on your mind for quite awhile, and see where it goes from there! The worse she can do is say no. I don't think she'd think you were weird or anything, especially since you've been married for as long as you two have. Congrats on such a long marriage, and good luck in your future(both of you!)

Answer 4

after 30 years of marriage, there definitely shouldn't be any fear of approaching your wife. but if you are really serious about this...write her a letter, leave her a copy of the book, and suggest the two of you discuss the matter when she's done reading or skimming through it (it is better than cheating). but it sounds like you're more afraid she'll say no. are you bored within your marriage? is that why you want to try this? if she's not happy with this idea, try to come up with other ways that you both can build new memories together. Take a long road trip. Go on a cruise to another part of the world..enjoy your wife.

Answer 5

I am not sure what this site is about....are you talking about submission issues? Whatever it is you should feel you can approach with your thoughts but don't think she will be the willing partner. If this site is about something more weird, then wow, I'm not sure you are going to get the response you want. If you are good together, it never hurts to bring up new things. You just have to be prepared to hear that she is not interested. If this isn't going to change your relationship you are still good to go. If it frightens her, you are not. How far are you prepared to go to change your life for better or for worse? Only you can decide.

Answer 6

After 30 plus years of marriage, you should be able to discuss anything. I am sure she knows you by now and understand what type of person you are.

This probabley isn't the type of thing your average woman would suggest for fear of upsetting her spouse.

She may have some of the same desires and if not, so what? I am sure we all have some boundaries, but she loves you and probably would either agree to please you or just say, honey sorry this is just not something I am comfortable trying.

Answer 7

I have read just enough to know that if you like this kind of treatment then don't be afraid of telling your wife about it.

You can always go back to the way you were before you "experimented" with this lifestyle.
My wife already has too much control over me as it is and she don't need any more..thank you very much..but good luck as "whats the harm?"

Answer 8

Yes, she might think it strange after all this time but it is best to get it over and done with. Just explain to her everything that you have written here as well as what is on the website because she might not have the time to read the book or might not understand.

Answer 9

You shouldn't be scared because i will be happy to have my man wrapped around my finger you should ask your wife how she would feel if you get a negative reaction you were just asking if you get a positive reaction then go for it if she gets upset or thinks your different then that's another section in your marriage you guys should work out. Good luck!!!!!!

Answer 10

Why don't you just show your wife the link and see what she says. If my husband asked me to do something like this I would think it's strange but I wouldn't make fun of him and I probably won't agree.