I was engaged to someone who I ended up buying a house with. Shortly after we moved into the house he started to find faults with me left, right and centre and told me (and my teenaged son) to move out. We have since moved out into our own apartment and are quite happy, however my ex-fiance wants to get back together again and wants me to eventually move back into the house (which he owns most of). Before we were forced to move out I really loved him but now I find it hard to have any real loving feelings like I had before for him. He doesnt seem to understand this (?) I don't feel like I could trust him again. I feel like I don't even know him any more. I told him "separating" was not a positive move, however he didn't agree and now apart from the fact we only see each other twice a week at the most, the relationship is dwindling and yet he appears oblivious. Should I just remain friends or just walk away completely?
2007-04-19 15:10:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If your name is on the mortgage for the house, you are half owner of it, even if he has made all the payments. Also, if he ever tries to sell the house, your signature will be required as well as his, just keep that in mind. Now to your question, I would say just walk away, if you weren't good enough for him the first time, then you won't be the 2nd time. You are better off without him.
2007-04-19 15:14:38 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off you own half of that house and that is that. Secondly he is realizing that he is an idiot and know other woman would want anything to do with him so he is crawling back to you. If he treated you like crap in the first place why would you want to let him do tis to you again. If you and your son are happy it is time to just let go and find someone that loves you for you. Kevin J made a good point if he ever tries to sell this home he would need your signature and if he forged it he would end up in jail for fraud. I think you have answered your question by saying you cannot trust him and you do not have those type of feelings for him any longer.
In the end it is best to go with your gut instinct!
God Bless and Best Wishes.
2007-04-19 22:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you no longer feel the same, then move away. Your son is a teenager and knows what is going on and doesn't need to see this angst and indecision. Given the info you have given about your ex fiance, I would walk away. It's more important for you to show your son that life decisions are difficult but important when they don't work out. Give your son a more positive role model so he doesn't do what your fiance is doing. And make sure he sees his mom is a strong woman. Good luck. I know it has to be tough.
2007-04-19 22:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still have any love for him, and want to see if things can still be between you, then pursue the possibility.
If you don't have any further feelings for him, part ways. No point in remaining friends with someone you don't have any feelings for, and don't trust.
I will suggest that you deal with the legalities of the house. Have him buy out your portion of the house, and get your name off the deed and the mortgage note. This could come back to bite you, if you don't get it resolved.
2007-04-23 18:46:07 · answer #4 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you already have the answer to that one and just need confirmation. You know how you feel, that at times is hard to change once you've made up your mind. For you and your son's sake... go with how you feel and walk away. It may be hard, but he can't change who you are and your so called faults. trust your gut.
Best of luck to you and your son
2007-04-19 22:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know the answer, but you need reassurance.
walk away and don't look back. buying a house is a big deal, but not enough to tie you down to someone.
good luck, you'll do just fine on your own.
2007-04-19 22:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by chelly01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay where you are now....get whats yours on the house and forget him...he's picking out little petty things about you and he threw you and your son out of your OWN home....nope...he's not the one for you...if you go back to him then he will do it again, i would have trouble trusting someone after that happened....leave the ex in the past and move on
2007-04-19 22:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off get back your portion of the house. he owes you that. then I'd move on. you have a teen-aged boy to worry about, not a grown man who is indecisive. your boy needs to see that he comes first. obviously your ex doesn't realize the importance of stable relationships or he wouldn't have done this to you and your boy. yup, I'd get back my money and completely move on. consider this a bullet dodged.
2007-04-19 22:28:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good partner would love you and accept you for who you are. And if they were problems that you agree you needed to fix, he should have been willing to help. He has shown that he isn't willing to do either, so I would just be friends
2007-04-19 22:34:48 · answer #9 · answered by cs_ds_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away. If you aren't in love with him, don't bother. HE screwed up so he has to deal with being lonely. Find someone that will treat you better.
2007-04-19 22:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋