I'm married, but my marriage isn't so hot and hasn't been for a while. I met this guy at work (we work at different branches at a bank)and I can't get my mind off of him. He doesn't know I'm married and I haven't made an extra effort to let him know that I am. We flirt when he comes down and have even ate lunch together. I know I need to let him know that I am married, but I really don't want to. How far should I let this go?
2007-04-19 14:30:39 · 15 answers · asked by Tilly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, marriage is a commitment. How would you feel if you husband was doing this behind your back? It is wrong to parade around like you are single when you are not. If you are interested in being with someone other than your husband than you owe that to your husband to tell him. You owe the other guy nothing. I suggest that you worry about either working on your marriage or divorcing before you start worrying about dating. Don't disrespect your husband while you are still married. That should never be an option. I do hope that you are able to find happiness. But you will honestly feel better about yourself if you do it the right way. Good Luck.
2007-04-19 14:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have already let this go too far. You're not being fair to your husband. Obliviously, there was something about this guy that you love/loved or else you wouldn't have married him. Give your marriage a chance. Have you exhausted all resources? Counseling, trial separation, etc? Give your marrige a chance, and if it doesn't work, move on. At least that way, you won't get a reputation for being a cheater. Because even if you do leave your hubby and go to this new guy, he's gonna wonder if down the road when things cool off(as they do in every marriage) if you'll do the same thing to him that you did to your current hubby.
2007-04-19 14:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by cs_ds_02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your marriage not so hot?... Is it partly his fault? Is he still acting the same toward you as when you first got married or date him? if he still the same person, then maybe you should question yourself about your feelings and fix it. If he is not the same then maybe you should talk to him and find out what is really going on and try to fix it. Bottom line is, you don't want to do something that would hurt either one of you. Cheating is a very hurtful thing. It can do a lot of damage to someone emotion and eventually effecting the life.
2007-04-19 14:54:22 · answer #3 · answered by mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your marriage isn't so hot, why not? Can you fix it , do you want to? If not, end it. Sounds to me like you don't want to be alone, so you leave one to go to another. Try being on your own for a while and figure out what you're really looking for. It might be a new experience for you. Remember, there's a strange sense of security in the familiar, although it may not be good for you.
2007-04-20 19:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by dewing ducey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you are married or not, please let go of one relationship before you choose another. And starting another relationship with dishonesty is obviously not the right way to go. You seem to continue to make bad choices. Get some counseling and find out why you are hurting your chances of having a healthy relationship. I can't even begin to tell you how important this is to the rest of your life.
2007-04-19 15:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't do this to him. You're playing with fire, and he's going to get burnt. He may think he has a chance with you, and that's not true. Fess up to him, and apologize profusely for deceiving him.
Now, try to get the positive affirmation you need from your husband. Work on your marriage, communicate with your husband. Find your way back to each other, and kick up the fire between the two of you.
2007-04-23 11:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married, so don't flirt, and don't go out with him. Stop thinking about him. Be faithful to your husband.
You and your husband need to get counseling. It also sounds as if you both need to decide if you want to stay married.
2007-04-19 14:41:08 · answer #7 · answered by nymormon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should STOP this right now...
If you cannot handle your marriage..husband...
What makes you think that you can handle another man????
Be realistic... don't get yourself burned.. and let the innocent victim to your unhappiness marriage.
With this constant outing with the man... it will fuel your desire to even discard the marriage even though themarriage is not that bad as you think...
take care..
2007-04-19 15:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting him know your marital status is rather irrelevant. In your heart you want to have an affair. It seems that nothing will stop it. Is that what you want? Would you rather tell your husband about this guy, than let this guy know that you have a husband?
2007-04-19 14:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sooner or later he's going to find out you are married, so why not tell him now, before you are both disappointed. If this is just innocent flirting then that's one thing, but it sounds like you'd like it to get a bit further than that.
Good luck and be careful!
2007-04-19 14:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by Tim 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋