I want to be thankful for the things that I have - enough money, good health, education to get a job. However, I consistently focus on what did not work out in my life - my marriage and my child is not with me.
Yet, I feel bad when others at work talk about their intact families and children and I can not. My child lives with her Dad in another state and is 15. She is going through the normal teenage problems.
What other ways besides training your mind and leaving it to God when I feel bad about my life are there?
I want to feel that I have something good going for me in my life.
2007-04-19 14:22:16 · 10 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Rather than use the word gratitude, use the word appreciate.
Find things you appreciate, like for example , for me it's chocolate, good friends , that I'm relatively healthy and am getting healtier after a heart attack last fall.
It's hard to hear others talk about family life, but then again there are those who never married or who are orphans or whose parents are somewhere far away that they can't come to their child, so be grateful that you at least got married for a time , had a child. You might even be grateful that you don't have to cope with the 'normal' teenage girl hystronics.
There's no trick one does to change how one looks at the world and becomes grateful. It's just something you do, a little bit at a time. Learn to appreciate little things first , like the purr of your cat or the happy bark of your dog welcoming you home or the sweet tweet of the birds in the early am. That it's a sunny warm day rather than a cold blizzardy one.
You CHOOSE how you look at the world and what your attitude is , there's no secret to it, other than doing it.
2007-04-19 14:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop "consistently focusing on what did not work out for you in your life".
Sit down and count your blessings and write them down.
Then acknowledge the fact that you can only live in "this day", not in the past or future. Look around, and be grateful for all you have to enjoy. Keep building up your life. Set other goals for yourself. Leave your disappointments and mistakes with the Lord; He will forgive you if you have been in the wrong and have confessed it. He has given you one day after another to do what you can with your life. With His power and guidance at work in you, you can have a good and fulfilling life. God Bless You!
2007-04-19 21:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, I'd like to replace the word "gratitude" with "value." It's quite a different thing, to value the things you have, than to be "grateful" for them, as that implies you "earned" them, or have someone/something to be grateful TO. You answered your own question with "I consistently focus on what did not work out for me." There are many "bumps" in the road; & I'm not negating that. As far as your daughter is concerned, I have no idea why she isn't with you, but clearly, this is in your mind, & must be hurtful. If you have no control over changing this, the best thing you can do for YOURSELF is to accept it.
I'm trying to remember an excellent answer, I think it was Lizzy T--& it's really not so difficult to change your focus from negative to positive. Believe me! I've seen this, & I've been there. Be alert to every single joyous thing in your life, not in gratitude, but with genuine pleasure. Feeling bad or good, or somewhere in between, about your life, is in your control. The first part of your question tells me there ARE good things in your life. Enjoy them! "Shift your gears" to the good things, many of which you may not even have been aware because your energy is in what "didn't work out." & good luck!
2007-04-19 22:10:05 · answer #3 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to learn it by either losing what you had or by volunteering with spare time to help those less fortunate and seeing firsthand how good you have it.
Usually the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence in most peoples eyes.. You have to look at the good side of everything you have, and what you learned from the loss of what you had and you will be set.
In life, everything happens for a reason, and even if the event hurts today, it will set you on the right path for tomorrow...
2007-04-19 21:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
As you breathe, Thank God for the air. As you watch the news, thank God that you aren't a parent of one of the children or young adults who died this last week. As you look in the mirror, Thank yourself for thanking God For every last Good thing in your life. Nothing in life is perfect, except for God's Love. If you dwell too much on negativity, Your life will yield nothing but negativity. If you look on the bright side more often, you might need a new pair of sunglasses to deal with the rays of sunshine it brings to your darkest hours. God Bless.
2007-04-19 21:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Forgotten Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Further investigate what you said about "leaving it to God." Before this action can be effective, you have to believe that God is capable of handling all that concerns you. I have a close and personal relationship with God (the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Joseph) and I know from first hand experience that He is able to give us peace, contentment, and joy---not remove our problems from our lives. If you are serious about feeling better---start reading the bible (try the New King James version) daily and pray for God to give you insight and revelation into His ways. Just my humble advice.
2007-04-19 21:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by Miss T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have the smae problem soemtimes. do you feel liek this ALL the time, or jstu once in a while when ya think about it? im sue youve got a lto to be grateful for,w e all do in one way or another, no amtter where we are in life. mayeb youa re depressed and you need profesional help. i take medication for depression and it mostly helps, other times i have to grin and ebar it to get thru and i have a wife, a great job 2 grown kids, 4 dogs and im smart, thngs are good most of the time, focus ont eh good sister
2007-04-19 21:32:56 · answer #7 · answered by cav 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By having them and losing them. How is it that you don't have contact with your daughter and he does? I would think that a girl would really need a mother's influence more so than a father's...(even though my own daughter is closer to me than her mom...but that's a whole different situation).
I believe that god(s) help those who help themselves. Woman up and be a mom to your daughter.
2007-04-19 21:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Go volunteer to help those less fortunate than yourself.
2007-04-19 21:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by mfg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll learn when they are taken away from you, if you can't be thankful already, seeing that you have what others don't.
2007-04-19 21:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋