I have been in this relationship for over 16 years. unmarried but own home and property it is on.?

Question

I have had it with his slovenly ways, I simply cannot bare them any more. That combined with his deceitfull nature and lack of interest in ANY thing besides television. I am alone in the house for 12 hours every day, 5 days a week and dread week ends .
I only had a bad back when I made this move to this situation but now my heatlh suffers severly. I feel this situation is taking me down physically, moraly and mentally. If I dont get out I fear I will end up a lunatic. I have knowledge of my rights to force sale of property and take my half and go my way (half or more) but im so run down mentally I dont think I can do it. I am in some serious need of some help. And no, I dont have any one who can help me as far as family or friends. The either dont want anything to do with it or just cant due to other reasons. I dont want to continue with this, its killing me... What shalll I do?

Im here to explain more after being instructed how to do this by some nice people. Ontheotherhand....no thanks for that advise. You didn't even consider that I might be the burden carrier now did you? To the others who tried to help without enough info..thanks. But here is the deal. I had paid off my mortgage before I met "him". So when things proceeded where we wanted to build on the property he owned by "gift" from his mother which was gifted during my presense in his life....I sold MY home of 25 years to contribute to the building of this home. Turns out I didn;t Contribute! I did it all. When my house money ran out, it was MY credit cards.. He had no credit so couldnt do anything. Well turns out he doesnt do anything even if he has money hanging off the walls!! I have financially and physically supported this property and home for 10+ years now. He pays the mortgage pmt per our agreement but that is IT. He buys nothing for the house at all. Does this help? Lainey

Answer 1

16 years?!?! i think its time to get married. lol

Answer 2

Since there is no marriage, I think that any assets either of you own, belong to the owner. That is, the owner as indicated by the property deed, or the vehicle title. I imagine you want to be treated as would a wife ending her marriage, and get a court to split assets. But, you CHOSE to just live together, for whatever reasons you deemed meaningful. Why SHOULD any court get involved? You weren't gonna let society tell you folks how to live, or IF you should marry. Now, you'll whine that he isn't treating you as a wife would be treated. Probably true. There is NO reason anybody should much care. You made the choice to not marry. So, there isn't any community property. That's the downside of being a free spirit, one who isn't tied to stuffy rules that the rest of society blindly follows. Now that it's split up time- you want "your share" Sorry, but I have zero sympathy for one who wants things both ways. Free to live as YOU choose, but when YOU want it; expecting your "shack up" to be treated the same as marriage. Hypocrite is the word for folks like you. Edited. Who paid what is immaterial. You two CHOSE the life you've been living. Nothing prevented you from getting married, in which case a split would have been overseen by courts, and assets would have been split equitably. You, for your own reasons didn't do that. There has to be a deed to the house and property. Whoever is the official owner, should be the one who gets it. You now want some judge to determine who should get what. Why should a judge care? Do you expect him to go back over 16 years of bills, reciepts, ect. to figure out how much each put in? Splitting marital assets , a judge has hundreds of years of case law to show him how to do it. I hope the deed shows joint ownership, or else the property should belong to who owns it. Since this is just a long term shack up, it is not a relationship recognized by courts as meaningful. There is NOTHING that requires a person to be comensated for things they freely GAVE to an unrelated lover. If you made improvements in this guy's property, he owes you thanks but I don't see how you have a basis to DEMAND anything that isn't in your name. This kind of thing happens to guys all the time. They find a sweet thing, set her up in a home, buy her a car, pay all the bills for years, and then when she decides to leave, they try getting a judge to force a split. The judge simply says- Who's name is on the vehicle title? THEY own it. Whose name is on the condo deed? THEY own it. You rejected traditional, now want a traditional ending. You wanted an unconventional relationship, now you want a conventional split. Unless you had the foresight to get things in writing, I doubt you have a chance in hell of getting much. Yes, that DOES suck, but when you ignore conventional, in favor of unconventional, you should be on your own. IF you bought things for your friend's home, that's your business. If you bought him a car- your business. If you paid for EVERYTHING- your business. The owner IS the owner. It's exactly the same as if you bought your niece a birthday present, and then got mad at her. The gift IS hers, and you couldn't demand she give you half the value- it IS hers. If you GAVE things to him- they're HIS.

Answer 3

if the house and property are yours, there is no need to sell and share the proceeds..if it belongs to both of you sell it and split the money and get him out before he brings you down farther.

Answer 4

If it is YOUR home and property, then consult with an attny, and have him evicted.