i met my husband at age 15. moved in together 17. have 2 children 14 & 8. own business together. this last year we have had a very rough go at things. it seams we dont have much in common anymore. sort of like saying we pass in the halls, eat, have sex and that is it. we have a vacant rental home couple blocks apart and were thinking if trying it apart for few months would bring love back into relationship. yes we work together everyday, but i was thinking maybe somewhat of dating would bring good times back and we would grow closer to each other. we have full basement that could be used also, but i wondered if that was not a big enough distance to make a change this time. working on it in same house hasnt seemed to work this past year. changes start but dont follow thru.
2007-04-19 12:47:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forget it, honey. He has cheated and feels guilty. Don't waste your life when u could be doing better.
2007-04-19 12:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋
Don't separate if you mean to work this marriage out. Whatever you need to do for your marriage do it together in the same home. Go out and spend the night in a hotel room. Go explore a new world together......historical towns.....ect.... go get some marriage counseling it's worth a try. You guys have made it this long together and you are just in a rut. There is so much you can do to make the relationship come alive.......it is just sleeping right now and you both need guidance to learn how to awaken it. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and separating like this will just put more distance between you. Maybe don't continue to work together.......find yourself a different place of employment. You may just be seeing each other to much and that break could help better than living apart in different homes. Good luck to both of you.
2007-04-19 17:43:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be old school, but I don't get this separation thing. For me, if it isn't working, time apart isn't going to change anything. If the matters at hand can't be resolved through couples counseling while together, then the next step is divorce. If you think that because you aren't living under the same roof, the magic will come back, it can't. It's not as if you have just found each other again and started dating. Too much water under the dam.
2007-04-19 12:57:49 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I don't think living apart is going to bring the love back....why not try to work in seperate offices and bring some much needed distance there but spend more quality time together at home. Try going out on dates, spoiling each other as well as giving each other space to do things without the other person.
2007-04-19 12:55:23 · answer #4 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are contemplating seperation, then I do not think living in the basement is going to be doable. I mean what would be different, except the decor on the walls?
If things are going rough, you can still seek counseling and try to work things out while living under the same roof. In my opinion, seperation is just the step before divorce. If you want it to work out, stay together. Yes, it would make things interesting to "date", but you can do that without one of you moving out.
Set a date on the calendar. Call a babysitter, if needed, tell him to be cleaned, shaved, dressed and ready to go by 7 pm. Go out on the town. Make it a night for the both of you.. Go out to dinner, catch a flick, go make out in the backseat!!
There is a saying that says, "distance makes the heart grow fonder", but it also makes the heart forget, too. Moving out would make one if not both of you hurt and that hurt may or may not be able to be gotten over.
My advice would be to talk to a third party and figure out what is making things go south before you just throw in the towel and seperate.
Who knows, maybe you are both just tired, worn-out, and on the verge of burn-out. Owning a business, raising two kids, and trying to make a marriage work can be tough on anyone.
Good luck
2007-04-19 13:05:30 · answer #5 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-29 11:13:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think seeing a marriage councilor would be a better idea from what I have read a large majority of separations lead to divorce. Being away from each other doesn't really solve anything and could actually make things worse.
2007-04-19 13:02:20 · answer #7 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married isn't something one dabbles in, it's 24/7 until death takes one of you. You seem to think that LEAVING your husband will bring you closer together. It's an interesting idea. Not a good idea, but interesting. Perhaps I'm just blind, but exactly how does leaving your husband qualify as a good idea, one that improves your marriage? Divorce, or stay married- your choice. But lose the idea of leaving, to help your marriage. Leave, if you no longer love your husband, and want to live alone. Stay, if you love your husband, and meant what you vowed 20 years ago.
2007-04-19 14:49:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
OK well the 2 of you have my blessings! " Not that it means anything to anybody " But at least you guys are going down with the ship peacefully . May the 2 of you fined some happiness in life
2007-04-19 13:05:39 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tyre the dateing thing good luck
2007-04-19 13:10:51 · answer #10 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋