my husband is uncompromising and domeneering.we have 3 kids and he named them all without discussing it with me.he told me to do the tubal ligation which i did.things arent getting better though.he wont even discuss our family finances with me.should i have tied my tubes in these circumstances?why doesnt he care for me or my opinion?is he having an affair?are there any happy endings for women in my situation?
2007-04-19 11:51:54 · 9 answers · asked by ceomum5 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There are happy endings if you make one. It is to late to dwell on the fact that you tied your tubes. Just enjoy the children you have already been blessed with. Try to go get counseling. If he won't go with you then go by yourself. It sounds like you really need someone to talk to. His behavior is not great and he probably is cozy in the fact that you don't put up to much of a fight. If he hits you or the kids get out. About the affair part, if you feel like he is and your intuition tells you he is then most likely he is. Your gut doesn't often lie. I wish you all the best of luck and hate that you have to go through this.
2007-04-19 12:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by jhardinmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a happy ending and its called freedom from distructive relationships. As for having had your tubes tied...under those circumstances you shouldn't have, but it is too late to dwell on that as you said it was already done, so now that its done, enjoy your three children and press on....if your husband is not willing to hear you out....then its time to leave...if you don't your children will think that his behavior is normal, if you have a son he will feel its okay to belittle women. If you have a daughter she will endure your pain in the future. Teach your children by not tolerating it and show them it is not acceptable behavior. You do not need to divorce to do this a seperation will prove to your children your not willing to stand for it, and hopefully during that time your moron of a husband will get some sense.
2007-04-19 18:58:46 · answer #2 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only happy ending is to leave this man before he commandeers your entire life if he hasn't already.
I'm sorry you are going through that.
He doesn't care because he feels powerful and good about himself if he can dominate another person, which in this situation is you.
That's just terrible if he didn't consult you and tells you to get a tubal ligation.
I would want to secretly make plans to leave and take the kids and contact an attorney and then RUN.
He is a domineering jerk and probably would treat any woman like this that he married. It is NOT you.
I don't know if he's having an affair, but it certainly sounds like he believes he has a right to doing whatever he wants to do in this marriage.
Men like this don't tend to change through counseling. They might go and act like they will and then will be the same jerks they went in as.
I would suggest getting some outside support and getting away before you are forced to do something you don't want to do.
2007-04-19 18:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by KAR36 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Luckily it is reversable (I did it and had 2 more beautiful kids). However, if you are having these type of issues would you really want a baby accidentally brought into that enviornment?!? I had my tubes retied...I wish I hadn't done it the first time but I now know that my family is complete...
2007-04-19 19:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have had my tubes tied yet. How old are you? What if your marriage doesn't work out, and you find someone who loves you just as much as you love them and you want a child together.
I think it's reversable but there are no guarantees. Why didn't he have a vasectomy - much easier to reverse and not as big a deal operation wise.
Please seek counselling
2007-04-19 18:55:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why have you put up with this for so long? If he doesnt care about your opinions, he doesnt care about YOU. Technically, he is using you. You deserve better. Get yourself out.
2007-04-19 19:21:09 · answer #6 · answered by Jay Jay 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was a mistake for you to not tie your tubes earlier. If you're married to a guy like this, why keep having children?
2007-04-19 18:59:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
What are you 12! quit letting him tell you what to do
I am not trying to be rude but damn girl you deserve better
2007-04-19 19:18:25 · answer #8 · answered by pumpkinautumn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's domineering and a power monger. Leave him before he controls everything else in your life!
2007-04-19 18:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋