What do you do when your son hates your husband?

Question

My husband is a mama's boy himself and has never had kids...I just cant seem to get them to bond. What is a mother to do?? My son is 11.

Answer 1

They don't need to bond, they do need to have respect for each other and especially respect for you. Your son is most likely jealous and is in need of you telling him to knock it off.
Tell him you are disappointed with his disregard for your feelings and choices. He is your son and he will grow up and be gone to start his own family and does he think your being alone when that happens is fair to you. Men may come and go in your life and that IS NOT for him to choose or reject, it is for him to respect your choices. Be a member of this family or self sabotage your part in it, which of these two choices do you see bettering your life.
With that said, my son chose to join the family. I made certain we ate one meal a day, in front of the TV or at the table, we did it together...as a family. My son is grown and gone with his own family and my husband and I will celebrate our 27th anniversary soon. Marriage takes work and so does family...my best wishes for you and yours.

Answer 2

*Well there isn't too much you can do (I take it he's not the biological father?) in any case, kids/teens are rebellious when mom or dad gets a new spouse.

.So naturally they will act out and be rebellious and go out of their way to make their feelings known to everyone. SO until your son learns to accept your husband, they probably won't be bonding anytime soon. And your husband sounds like he would be willing to bond with him, but at the same time he is unwilling because your son refuses to give him a chance and at least try.

~I know how your son is feeling, I dealt with the same feelings and attitudes towards my mom's husband also. And no matter what she said or did, it did not make me like him...and it took time in fact YEARS before I learned to accept that my mom had finally found someone to make her happy...and I was being a jerk and ruining that for her. Then I finally "grew-up" and learned to get along with him, because not being nice and not getting along with him got me nowhere anyways.
.So now I like my step dad and we get along great...but yeah from experience it just takes TIME and maturity and learning to accept things and people for the way they are.

**I'm sorry I couldn't give you a magic solution or anything, but I'm just speaking from my own experience and letting you know that is how I got over it.

**I wish you the best of luck though.

Answer 3

Well when I was 8 my mother married my step father and we didnt get along then and still dont to this day,

he didnt except me for reasons that are strickly his and no amount of time or bonding could fix this, I dont know if your in contact with your sons real father or not (assuming the guy he hates is not his real father)

but that might be your only hope, as a young man he needs to connect with his father in a way that I just cant explaine in words. the male rolemodel in a young mans life is key to how he turns out as a father and as an adult

If the father is not available then your in a bigger mess. your new hubby needs to realize that the his responsibility is to you and your son,

As with young men everywhere, "The NEW guy is stealing my mom from me" applies and your hubby has to do things to earn your sons trust and respect or the forementioned will continue to effect your son to the point where it damages the relationship you and your son share as well,

Think of it like this, If he cant trust and respect the man your with, how can he trust and respect the person that picked that man ?????

my step father was not capable of understanding this and never tried to gain any trust or respect from me therefore he never got it and as I discribeb it deteriorated the relationship between me and my mother as well after their divorce that deterioration continued for several years and we both ended up apologizing to each other

I apologized for placing her in the position of chosing between the man she loved and the boy she gave life to

she apologized for not taking to heart the things that I was telling her and dismissing my needs for what she thought at the time to be a better situation for both of us.

The point of all this is to say you have to remeber that your child is a person, just because that person is a child does NOT discount the fact that they have expectations just like you,

you could just say "hey, this is what we are doing, you cant understand why because of your age and your opinion does NOT matter", but you cant expect that to work out well or that your son wont one day do the same to you.

Answer 4

First thing is your husband has to start thinking like a father.
Pitch a tent in the back yard, Play ball... watch family shows to see how the show fathers make good daddy's

Answer 5

You knew that about your husband when you married him. I am not defending the guy, but I would simply make sure they respect one another and just leave at that. In time, their relationship might change.

Answer 6

You should never have married a man who doesn't get along with your son. What to do now? Not sure. Have your boy spend as much time with his real father as possible. He needs a good male role model, and this guy obviously isn't it.

Answer 7

to be real with u u should do what is best 4 ur son becuase i would say i lov my son and he means the world to me and if he is not happy i am not ether

Answer 8

Your son appears to be more manly than your husband. They both know it. And so do you.

Answer 9

Never put a man before your son, especially a man that refuses to cut himself from his mother's apron strings.

Answer 10

Is this man your sons father or step father? If he is his father then let them work it out. If he is step father then why did you marry someone your son didn't like?