I Love my husband and want to have an affair?

Question

I have never understood why someone would have an affair. I just didn't get it I thought if you want that then leave the person you are seeing and go for it. Well now I do understand though I have not yet comitted the crime nor have anyone person in mind. I hate to say it like this I feel like such a bad person but I just want to **** someones brains out. I am married and I love my husband very much but our sexual life sucks I tried to talk to him and he doesnt seem to care. I don't want a divorce I love going to do things with him and my daughter I love the time we spend together I just really want a sexually relationship with someone else. I won't do this because I belive in setting proper examples for your children. I have been with my husband for 61/2 years now. I just want to have that fire again. If it wasnt for my daughter I would. Why after always hating people who did this am I thinking of doing this. I make myself sick for wanting this so badly.

This isn't ignorant many people feel this way. I do love my husband but no toy can give me what I need. I want to be touched and wooed and feel like a women again. No I won't as I said above actually do it but I do understand now why someone would want to.

Answer 1

seduce him or get him to have a 3 some

Answer 2

*Well it's because people never understand that you DO NOT know what you would do in a certain situation, unless you experience first hand.*

-Even if it is cheating-

*I mean everyone has their reasons for what they do, and whether they are acceptable to society or not....that's not our concern(s). No one knows what you live with everyday and what you have to put up with...and how it truly makes you feel.

~So a lot of people will call you a bad person and call you names or whatever, but the truth is....you aren't satisfied. Even so, I do think you need to chat with your husband (if you haven't already) and let him know what you are feeling and that you are very unhappy with your sex life, and you are craving sex. And tell him it has gotten to the point where you feel like he wants you to look elsewhere for it, because he has not been being sexual with you. Also let him know you love him, but you need to be sexually gratified also because it is important in a marriage.

**I do not blame you for having the urge to cheat because my boyfriend is acting the same way with me right now, and I have told him basically what you were saying above about you wanting it badly enough to get it from someone else.

~So I think first and foremost you should talk to your husband and let him know how you feel and try and jump start things by doing things sexually you two normally wouldn't do. Like using toys, role play, sexy outfits, pornos, lotions, etc.

*Then again....you have to remember the drama (emotional) that comes with having affairs. There can be more to it, then just sex....so you really need to make sure that is what you want to do, and if you are ready to handle the consequences that could follow behind your choice.* :):)

.......let us know what you decide to do.

Answer 3

GF, I know exactly what's going through your mind. For me, been there! Done that! And guess what, I regretted it so much after I lost the only person I truly loved that I wish the idea of having an affair never crossed my mind, let alone materialized. Trust me, it ain't worth it. After doing it with someone just for the sake of it, it will make you feel very low. And when you get back home, you'll change (although you try not to show, but if your spouse is sharp enough, he will suspect it). Then things will only go south from here. Do yourself a favor, invite your husband to an adult book store, and buy yourself a vib or a huge ****. Then pleasure yourself while in bed with him. Good luck.

Answer 4

It seems like your only staying because of your daughter. If you stay just for her then it will only make things worse for her.

Maybe talk to him about your sex life and let him know he is not doing his thing right and you need more.

Some relationships allow other people to come in their relationship just for fun. My boyfriend and I love having threesomes but we dont have any kids so its easy for us.

Maybe try the tree some thins or take a weekend without the little one and do something sexy together.

I always tell my boyfriend if he doesn't give me what I want sexually then I will go out and find it. He says the same and we have no problems. If you cant be totally honest with your hubby then you shouldn't be together
Good Luck

Answer 5

I can understand how you are feeling. Believe me, you will be bitter and guilty if you continue this line of thinking and if you actually do have an affair, you will never forgive yourself.
You are unhappy in your marriage so you are looking outside of it to find a little happiness.
Time to turn that focus back in and try to figure out whats wrong.
Is it just a little boredom between you two, could you need to spice things up a little?
Maybe you need to get away or try a little roll playing or something.
It may even be a medical thing on his part. Low testosterone makes men feel less desire.
Ironically, as that is happening to men, women are just blossoming sexually. Really, we become these sex craving creatures right as our mans sex drive begins to dwindle. Go figure?
Either way, it sounds like you really love this man so do whatever you can to make it work.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I say a play date, go parking with him, tell in you want the you know what screwed out of you. Tell him to hammer that thing like he's never gonna get it again, Cause if you do have an affair it will never be the same, It's very addictive. Once you cross that line there's no coming back. Deep down inside, do you want to leave him? In the end if you do have an affair it will be over. Good Luck

Answer 7

Tell your husband that you cannot live with the lack of sex and passion. That either he needs to work with you to ignite that fire, or that you will get it elsewhere.

If he won't change, go for it. Most people here will say the prevailing american view 'divorce him instead'. I don't know why they think divorce is fine but extramarital sex - when you have clearly told your spouse what you will do, and that you'd rather be with them - is selfish. Actually, divorce is more selfish, since you throw your daughter into a broken home to fix your sex life, rather then just fixing your sex life in a way that is LESS convenient for you.

Anyway. If your husband won't change, go for it. Keep it discreet to be polite, you don't need to throw it in his face. But if he finds some 'evidence', you shouldn't apologize, or deny it. You're not hiding what you're doing, you're just trying not to make a big deal out of it.

Answer 8

Get into counseling, hon. You're about to toss away your marriage, and you are thinking with your little head instead of your big one. Read all the questions on here, and how affairs, and threesomes just destroy relationships. And both of you need to share with each other YOUR sexual frustration. And a book you might read.... by THE sex therapist in the country today
For Each Other, (Or for you both, I forget) by Lonnie Barbach. She has written other stuff too, all created to bring back the fire.... She's good. And a sex therapist of your own will be too. Good luck, hon

Answer 9

Ok, so if hubby isn't doing it for you anymore, what are you going to about it? Have an affair? Is that a solution? You don't want a divorce b/c of the impact, or example on your child, but you'd consider an affair? What kind of example is that? There's way more shame in adultery than divorce. Don't risk it. There's no good end in sight when you enter that territory! Either find a way to communicate with your husband and make it work, or DIVORCE him. Don't disrespect him, yourself, or your daughter just because you want some new booty! It's not worth all that.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with those feelings. We all have them, it's ok.

Some people have strong sexual appetites and feel the need for sex outside of marriage. That is, when the spouse is not satisfying their sexual needs.

I see no reason for someone to live unfulfilled when they can just go out and get some on the side without losing the love for their hubby or wife. Some people can and do pull this off and are happier. The nay sayers will say OMG, that is terrible, I say go for it and make yourself happy.

Answer 11

This is such a big step to take in your life. It can change everything..... I would say try to avoid the affair. Feelings come and go in marriage. Just hold on and wait for the feelings to change again. This could ruin your marriage, trust and everything if you do it. It is big!
Try thinking of what you want in bed while with your hubby. Picture who or what in your head and just imagin it is real.