If men can do it, why can't I?

Question

If a man has one non committed relationship after another, he's a big hero to all his friends. However, if a woman, enjoys sex to the same extent that a man does, she's nothing but a wh***, or a sl**. Just wondering why society dictates this as being a reasonable assessment of a woman, just because she enjoys having sex? And I'm not talking about having sex w/ 2 or 3 different guys a week. I'm talking about the mind blowing sex that comes from being in a new relationship, and as soon as the excitement wears off and the sex becomes boring, if I want out, why should I be stuck w/ these negative labeles. If I were a man, it would be acceptable, even somewhat expected. Can anyone explain why, in this day and age, we women who love sex are still made to feel like we have to hide our faces in shame? All opinions on this are appreciated.

Just to clarify, I do not have commitment issues. I was married for 17 years. I've been divorced for 4 yrs, SO, NO, no commitment fears here!

Answer 1

How you want to live your life, is your business. However, to me it sounds as if you were hurt by someone and even though you love having sex, maybe you're too afraid to get too close to these guys you're dating, so this is your way of avoiding the heartbreak of falling love. I had a close friend whose husband cheated and she was so devastated by this that she kept every guy she dated at arms length. When she would start to have feeling for them, they were gone. She finally got help and is now happily married to a wonderful man who absolutely adores her. I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

yeah I kinda know how ya feel. there was this guy goin around tellin people I was gay. I said "damn, ya sleep with a hundred women, nobody says a word but ya do ONE guy......badump bump. lol

seriously it is one sided isnt it? However, I'm not sure I would use the word hero. some guys may brag but it doesnt make them a hero. unfortunately ours is a society where we men get by with a lot of crap. Dont hide your face in shame, you have nothing to be shameful about. the names you used are just names men made up. Idont know why we use those words maybe it fuels our ego. I dont use those words now like i did when I was younger. I am sorry for whatever thats worth.


oh please one more before I go? I wish I could be a ho, it would be a great job... i mean ya have it, ya sell it, and ya still got it. Hey were not all bad guys and ya least cracked a smile didt ya?

Answer 3

Without getting into your committment issues, basically it is an old stereotype.
In the "olden days", when the Patriarchal societies took over, men wanted to be certain that any children born of "their woman" were truly theirs. It didn't matter how many women the men had sex with, just so long as "their woman" only had sex with them.
However, in these times of AIDs and other STD's it really isn't advisable for either men or women to do too much bed hopping. (No judgement here)

Answer 4

I agree with you. There are double standards on both sides, and it's ridiculous. Even if you were to have sex with several different men each week, or even each day, I don't understand why that can't be as accepted by society as it is for a man to behave in the same manner. Many women are just as guilty of perpetuating this double standard (and others). There are women who call each other whores, women who stereotype strippers as being whores, women who claim that men enjoy sex more than women, and so on. Many women also crusade against prostitution and pornography, which actually interferes with EVERYONE'S rights. Prostitution isn't my cup of tea, but I think it should be legal. And what's the big deal about porn? I don't see the problem as long as children aren't involved and as long as no one is being forced. And why can't we go out bare-chested? Men are permitted to do it. It's all bull sh♥t.

Answer 5

Alright,

Here is the Flintstone explanation...it's a man's world!

(wasn't that a song by James Brown?)

Women carry the ability of life within them, and honestly, men view women as something that they should protect (even the jerks out there have this in them...deep deep down inside).

So when a woman carries on like "one of the guys" it places her outside of that delicate flower persona. Removes her from the "motherly, nurturing" image that men view women.

Face it, you like sex. You like random, wild, stinky, smelly, exhausting, sex. Great! Why do you need to advertise that you do? To keep up with the boys? What's with the competition?

Carry on with your flings but just know you will also carry the label...that is just the way it is...it's called a double standard.

Answer 6

In response to jbtscam, if men have 100000 kids by 100000 different women who don't give the kid their father's last name then how is he preserving his seed? Nobody knows who the kid's father is so the kid carries the mother's maiden name and preserves her father's generation.

To answer your question, it's the man's way of maintaining power over us. Someone called me a ho for having sex with my boyfriend in a COMMITED RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!
Maybe these male dominated religions played a part too. I know the Old Testament allowed multiply wives. Today men just don't marry the multiples.

Answer 7

That's cause from the moment a guy hits puberty, it's all abou getting laid and having a lot of sex is something that is looked up to by peers. However with women, they tend (not always but a lot of times) to be more interested in longer relationships.

Answer 8

This society is male dominated and designed to keep a woman oppressed. If a woman thinks she can do whatever she wants it challenges the mans power and the men don't like that so they make you feel like you're wrong.

Answer 9

Biology.

A man is fulfilling his biological, evolutionary duty of spreading his seed by sleeping with woman after woman after woman.

It's the way any humanist will tell you it was meant to be. Men have evolved to father as many babies with as many women as possible.

Women, on the other hand, do not increase their chances of DNA survival by sleeping with more than one man every 9 to 18 months. They can't possibly have more than one litter at a time, so all that extra "sleeping around" is just wasted time.

Society has taken these cold, hard facts about the biology and turned them into norms of behavior. A man who successfully beds multiple women is spreading his seed, insuring his survival.

A woman who does so is just waisting her time.

Answer 10

Actually I have been involved in one non-committed relationship after another. Most of my friends don't care one way or another. Those that do? A couple of them admitted they were jealous. Really never been a problem for me.