I generally have good relationship with my boyfriend. One problem is that when I have something to discuss with him (usually something that I was unhappy about what he is doing), he just wouldn't listen. I don' t yell, I just want to talk about it and listen to his point. He just says he doesn't wanna talk about it. Period. What should I do? are there ways?
2007-04-19 10:01:29 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My boyfriend did the same exact thing and it got so frustrating to the point that I would eventually blow up.
I realized that not only does blowing up on him make the situation worse, but it makes him not want to listen to me even more, so here is what I did.
I sat down with him and said the following, "I have something to discuss with you and I know you probably don't want to talk about it right now, but I feel the time is right. If we can't talk about what's wrong in our relationship, we aren't going to be able to get through things. I really want to be with you, but in order for this to work, you're going to have to start listening to what I have to say." He hesitated at first and then I had to explain even further, "If we don't talk about what's wrong, it will build up. Small problems lead to huge problems that we won't be able to fix. Just hear me out." And then I explained what was bugging me. Eventually he started talking to me about what was bugging him and we agreed to start having discussions about what really ticks us off.
We are now expecting our first child and our relationship is healthier than ever.
2007-04-19 10:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by Me ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you have to have something to say that he is interested in. He has to know it AFFECTS him in some way.
Tell him that communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship and if he wants to have a relationship with you, he will talk and listen.
If he doesn't know HOW, and WANTS to know, you might help him. Be NICE; he may teach you a few things later!
If he shows no interest in learning how to listen or talk to you--especially when you are unhappy about anything--pick up your party duds and go home. He doesn't WANT a healthy relationship with you-he wants a sex partner who expects nothing from him. That's what he's got now, but not what YOU want. Both of you have to be content.
Do not try to FIX a guy. Think of trying to teach a pig to sing--you will not have a good time, and the pig will be very irritated.
If he is PERFECT except for a couple of things that bug you, shut up and enjoy your life.
If there are lots of little things or some big things that bug you, move on to someone more compatible with you.
2007-04-19 17:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a guy. I don't really like talking too much. I find the easiest way with my girlfriend and I is that she be upfront. She will say something like "stop playing with the dog in the house, its p***ing me off." OK.. discussion finished. Say what you need to say..we hear you...(unless you talking in the middle of a game). If it is a continual problem then you need to look at your own options.
2007-04-19 17:09:38 · answer #3 · answered by madcowbreeder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes there are ways. Just explain to him why you are unhappy or worried and if you matter to him then he should at least attempt to explain. If that doesn't work then suspend some "benefits" and say why. It's all a game He will try and push to see what your limits of his freedom are while still getting what he wants so you have to react and let him know that that is unexceptable.
2007-04-19 17:13:22 · answer #4 · answered by Firebird Farmboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women always want to talk, get girl friends for that purpose.
Why do you think in marriage you always here the wife asking the husband if he is deaf..........they just tune it all out.
It's nothing personal, it's just the way we are all wired.
Sure there's always the exception, but I'm talking in general.
2007-04-19 17:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to him when he is in the bathroom taking a crap cause then he has no choice but to listen to you.He can't walk away and maybe he'll actually talk to you back.I did that to my BF and now he listens cause he didn't like it when i sat at the door talking and talking well he was doing his thing.
2007-04-19 17:06:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah yes, an old one.
So whining and complaining will turn that clay into the sculpture you are creating.
So, men are not clay.
Whatever he is doing, he will always do.
So accept it and never complain about it or bring it up. If you can't accept it, find a man who was already the sculpture you like.
And forget about this yearning desire you have.
2007-04-19 17:07:13 · answer #7 · answered by Mark M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmm, do like the news women did in Europe. Their ratings weren't that great. So one day, one of the female anchors started to strip while reading the news. Ratings shot up (amongst other things I'm sure). So, try it with him :)
Just a thought :)
2007-04-19 17:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know there might not be away to get him to listen.. Boys don't like talking about feelings and stuff like that...but keep trying and tell him its important that you tell him...say you wanna talk and if he doesn't lsten then take something away from him that he really enjoys until he is ready to talk. Good Luck
2007-04-19 17:05:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ryan-Marie Y 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Explain how you feel to him. A lot of guys think in relationships, they have the power. Let him know that you don't want your relationship to be like that. Talk to him calmly.
2007-04-19 17:07:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋